I home educate my children, ama

[househelppl]

I haven’t been keeping up with with AMA threads (though I read a few and thought they were interesting) so apologies if this one has already been done.
But if it hasn’t, and you have any questions about home education, ask away!

Interesting thread!

What does a “typical” day look like for HEs and their children? How much time do you spend doing planning outside “school hours”?

I don't like the phrase "unschooling" it simply wouldn't work for us. DS is extremely academic and likes structure.

A friend of mine unschools her DD, so a few months ago we did a homeschooled swap, for a week DS attended her classes (for want of a better word) and then for a week her DD attended mine. Both friend and I sat and observed each other's lessons.

It was fascinating, and it really bought home to me just how valuable tailoring the education style to the child is. At the end of it DS said how nice it was that we do it our way, but that friend gets to do it her way too, and it got him thinking and talking a lot about respect for differences.

I am a very strong believer in that HE should fit the child, and not be biased by the parent's personal desires and ideals, so if unschooling is what's best for the child, why not.

If its because the parents want a 1970s style hippie childhood for their child without any consideration to what their child needs (like another HE I know), then that is a huge issue as its doing the child a huge injustice.

StillNoClue I'm not the OP, but I will say that I did not encourage my younger sister to home ed. She wanted to, but her reasoning was not because it was best for her dcs but because she couldn't be bothered being responsible and figured she could avoid school runs and such. "All play and no work" was her thought process when she asked me about it. She's one of these "talk a good game, but no follow through" people, so I sat down and discussed the planning and prep work I do for each of my dc (both my dc that home ed have SEN, and both of hers do too, although different issues than mine). She had no idea the amount of time I spend organising and prepping things and decided it was far too much work for her to mess with. Yes, I do a lot of work on it, but it's vital for my dcs to get the best out of home ed, so I do that. Her comment? "God - that's more work than school runs and homework, which I hate the bother of, so I guess I'll keep them in school." Says it all really.

I have a good education and am confident of teaching my children quite a lot. What I can't teach them, we can have tutors take care of when the time comes. For example, my dcs are learning Spanish - I'm learning it along with them (although I'm further ahead than they are) - and my older sister (who is fluent in Spanish and married a native Spanish speaker) works with them on their Spanish.

My ds1 (11yo) was recently talking to a staff member he knows in a London museum, and he was telling her that he has been thinking that with his love of history and facts that he would really enjoy working in a museum as an adult, so he could share that information with children like she does. Now he's looking at what he will need to do to reach that type of career. The assessments/tests will be very difficult for him due to his particular SEN, however, at least as we are home educating he can take them one by one, rather than doing it all at once.

Sorry - also don't want to hijack thread from OP.

Whoops - clicked enter by accident. Distracted as had tooth out today and dealing with a headache.

Sorry - also don't want to hijack thread from OP, but we do know some that do the unschooling. It works for them, but it wouldn't work for us. I'm relatively laid back, but not that much. I loosely follow the national curriculum.

@HEinLondon thanks for the reply. That's what I was thinking, that some people see it as an easy option; child doesn't want to go to school, don't worry we can stay at home, or parents taking kids out of formal education because it's stressful for them to get the kids to school on time etc.
With what you said in mind, do you think that Home ed should be regulated to an extent, or would you feel that regulation ruins the appeal of Home education?

Likewise lessstressed, sorry OP! I love hearing about other HE experiences.

A typical school day for us, though its summer holidays now where we are, is as follows:

Thursday's timetable:

6am - wake up and yoga (outside if the weather is good enough) for 30 mins before breakfast.
6:30 - breakfast and discuss what we're doing for the day
7 - lessons start.
7 - 8 --> maths
8 - 8:15 --> break
8:16 - 9:16 --> science
9:17 - 9:30 --> break
9:30 - 11 --> IT, tutor comes to our house for this twice per week
11:01 - 11:45 --> early lunch and break
11:46 - 12:46 --> geography
12:47 - 1 --> break
1 - 2 --> art inc history of art
2 - 2:15 --> break (for snacks)
2:16 - 3:16 --> cultural education (inc RE, PSE etc)
3:17 - 3:30 --> break
3:31 - 4:31 --> life skills and round up/de-briefing of the day.

We finish every day with an hour of life skills, things like cooking, budgeting and money, growing vegetables, sewing, DIY.

We have a set weekly timetable, each day is different and on Fridays we do applied learning all day, often in the form of a field trip, although we tend to use school holidays for trips. After "lessons" finish DS has clubs three evenings per week, and plays with his friends the rest of the time.

We did do shorter days but DS kept asking to keep studying, so got extended to what it is now. He's always been an early riser, and I do yoga before breakfast so that's something we included at his request.

I should have added in the evenings after DS is asleep DH and I do several hours of prep for the next day, and also recording progress and keeping records etc. HE does take over your life . Not that it wouldn't for a school educated child :)

Oh, gosh, ours is nothing like Blame. We do a bit of english and a bit of maths/arithmetic every day, science and history maybe 3 times a week each. They do Khan Academy and mess about with the computer at will. DD was teaching herself Japanese and doing a comparative study of Chinese and Japanese culture, all self directed. We do some modern studies stuff and some environmental education. The kids volunteer at the foodbank that I run and they have gym memberships which they are free to use any time they want. And then we just follow their interests. As they have grown up a bit, they have taken more and more responsibility for their own learning.
When they were young we did a lot of unit studies and file folder things, so we would spend anything from a week to a month when all the "work" the did was based around a central theme. For instance we've covered everything from spiders to monster trucks, African animals to penguins and volcanoes to soap bubble science in this way. The unit studies have maths, English, creative writing, arts and crfts, science, logic, history, geography and more encapsulated in them, so they are great for young kids.

That's the thing though isn't it less, HE means you can fit it to the child. I don't think I've met any HE styles yet which are the same :)

I completely agree with zzzzz that its gruelling, certainly not the easy option.

someone upthread asked

why do you think you can do a better job than a teacher

I can't answer for OP but I am home edding not through choice but my child has SN (autism what used to be called Aspergers) and is bright and there is no available suitable education for him. He can't cope in mainstream and there is no provision to his academic ability local in an SN school. I am not prepared to send my child to residential school.

I have just come off the phone to the LEA who is wholehartedly supportive of my decision to educate him away from school.

I would say most children can be educated at least as well away from a class of 30 .

wholeheartedly !

Still The problem with regulation is that it's different from LA to LA. How do you regulate an education when it's not based on NC? And parents legally have a right to educate their children how they see fit, so you can't force NC on everyone. The main benefit of home ed is that you (as a parent) can tailor it to that particular child. Someone coming in from the LA isn't going to know in even an hour long appointment isn't going to get a clear picture of exactly what they're doing, and so many children home ed due to SEN not being supported properly in school that their levels are not necessarily the same as children the same age. And every child is different!

For example, my dcs both do maths and reading daily, including on the weekends. We learn both US and UK topics (history, geography, etc), and there is a fair bit of focus on personal skills (self care, everyday living, learning to cope with stress, getting about and dealing with people out in the community) because of their SEN. This isn't something that the LA is going to be able to really test them on, IYSWIM. We manage to fit in science, spelling, IT, Spanish, music, arts, English, even a bit of RE (what they will tolerate as sometimes the conflicting views in the RE - creation, for example - war with their "facts are everything " viewpoints). Right now they're having a more relaxed day today. They've done reading, Spanish, and we've discussed some current events (Trump and Brexit are hot topics with both of them). Older dc is doing some coding at the moment,while younger dc is working on a sewing project. They both did some work on snap circuits yesterday and again this morning. I'm currently doing some research on a potential project (dismantling an old electrical item to look at the insides at the dcs' request) to see how we want to progress with it.

We get lots of magazines, such as Whizz Pop Bang, BBC History, EcoKids, The Week Jr, How It Works. We have memberships to the Royal Palaces, Natural History Museum (they love going to the exhibits there), and obviously the library. We are constantly finding new places to go that we can fit into what we're studying at any given point. And if we're not studying any closely related, we go anyway, and then go again once we're studying it.

Anything and everything is a reason to learn more. Immunisations? We studied how they work and what they do (and dcs then had a long conversation in the office with the GP about herd immunity ). We've done a bit a study on the medical problems the dcs have as it helped them to understand it better. My mother has diabetes and had a stroke - so we talked about that and discussed the warning signs for stroke and what to do in an emergency. The weather is hot and we're trying to cool down the flat? Discussion on the weather and cooling methods and what might work best, including air flow. The dcs see something in a magazine or on television and want to learn more about it? Great! let's look it up!

As both of mine have autism and other disabilities, we often have to tailor our days according to their needs. We do junior park run on weekends, we meet up with other home ed friends during the week, we discuss what activities they'd like to do. They're taking some coding classes for two weeks (three days a week) later this month, during which time I'll be sitting back with a coffee and reading. One of the big things mine need to learn is coping skills and to recognise when they're struggling, to verbalise that they're struggling, and to discuss how to help themselves cope. It's a long term project, but it's important for them to learn this before they are adults. That's another thing that the LA cannot measure or assess. I can't nail down a firm schedule because on a particular day they may not feel up to the planned activities, so we change our plans to something they are better able to deal with. Would the LA understand this changing schedule? Likely not. It wouldn't fly in school.

Most home educators I know are lovely responsible people that just want the best for their children. As with any group there are exceptions, just like there are parents of children in school that do not support their child's education there either.

I am loving this thread, thank you so much! As someone who is considering HE but has a lot of doubts and questions, many of these have been assuaged and/or answered already so thank you.

As someone who thrives on a schedule, and following a set curriculum (to a degree), it actually disturbs me how little oversight and support the LEAs seem to provide to HE households. I would probably actually be reassured by someone coming to check what I was doing and to let me know we were doing alright!

I really appreciate the time you have all taken to respond, I’m considering HE for my dcs.
I would love more info about costs, how much are you actually spending on resources etc? I’m hoping I could still work part time...

All home educators I meet (or read about on here) seem to be huge advocates for HE and how well it works. However, I have met a few adults/older teenagers who have been home educated, and not all of them have been so positive. (To be fair, some have loved it!)

I'd like to ask how you measure whether you're doing a good job.

Thanks for starting this thread, op

We home ed two kids at present, 8 and 6. Older child went to school for reception and a bit of yr 1, 6 year old never went. Third child is just a baby 😂

We started because oldest child was unhappy, and an anxious child who couldn't be away from home for that long. No Sen or similar, just not cut out for it despite the school being lovely. We were able to work around each other so decided to pull her out. She's blossomed now.

We don't do a massive amount of academics yet as they're still young...we aim to do some reading, writing and sums every day in some form or another. I aim to cover some history, geography, nature study and art/music on a weekly basis, and I read aloud a lot. Since having #3 it is mainly on me as dh works full time. I do leave some of the maths to him though, as an engineer it is his forte.

Can we do a better job than teachers? Yes, for our kids. Teaching 30 at a time? That's the job of a teacher. (We both do have QTS, but it is irrelevant to home ed tbh.)

Do they socialise? Yes, as appropriate to them. They're not party animals, they like small groups. We have a wide range of friends both home ed and not who we see regularly.

Sports wise they do a lot, and rarely stop moving tbh. Super fit. 8 yr old works at local stables 2 days a week, swims, gymnastics, beavers and sails. 6 yr old does cricket, riding, skateboarding and trampolining on a weekly basis. I do get a little bored of playing taxi, but that's par of the course for us tbh. Activity wise we spend about £150 a month on the above which is very affordable, but all optional. I do have a book buying addiction though. I also have subscriptions to lots of sites including audio book ones for car journeys. Yes, one of us needs to be at home at the moment but hey ho. We are also lucky to have a supportive family, so my parents will often take the older ones if I need to do something, help with driving sometimes and they have a boat and a pool that we use a lot.

Secondary...we'll see. I feel quite confident that between dh and I and carefully selected tutors we could do perfectly well at covering the necessary for GCSEs, but may decide not to. We may choose to use schools, private or otherwise, or wait until 14 odd at which point the local college will accept home ed kids on a personalised timetable.

Headspace is one thing I do miss, I'd like more of that. 😂 But my kids are great, nicely behaved in the main and good company.

What are they doing right now? Oldest is at stables, middle is playing Lego in the shade in the garden (which resembles a desert right now) and youngest is stirring from a nap. Hence me being here 😁 We will head out to collect oldest now with some Ice lollies and go to beach for a swim.

We're perfectly normal people, it's just our
kids don't go to school. We don't 'philosophically object' to school or whatever. Happy to answer questions.

This is a good thread and its so interesting to read the different outlook, home ed styles and what a day or week may look like. I hope my (mini essay) answers some questions for you

I came to home ed like most because of sen, my daughter thrived after stopping school and went from reading age of 7 when she was 10, to be able to read and converse fluently and this helped her self confidence. The reading was cracked in the first 6 months of home ed.

For Gcses and i was lucky enough to come to an agreement with a local free school to have her on a part time schedule where she attended half the week and was home ed, the other half.

This worked well as at 13 she didn't want me as her teacher all the time and had quite an attitude. She has taught herself many things and achieved some formal education, so best of both worlds. I am not her teacher but facilitator. I'm her echo chamber and sounding board and i decode the world for her but how she learns and what she learns was always her own choice after basic maths and English. She liked the structure of school but she liked coming home to continue to learn Japanese for instance.

At 16 she did not feel ready for college and she had felt pressured at Gcse stage so she was fully home ed for a year before college. In that year she set up a website business and wrote a novel. She is now in her last year of college which she wanted to experience and has enjoyed. She is 19.5 now and wont achieve higher education at this stage, so after college we will be looking into what part time job she may be able to do but because of her sen, i think some sort of creative or work from home would suit her.

My youngest dd now 9 has never been to school, in part because i was so active in home ed and could not see what school would offer her and because she hated the 1 day per week nursery day and did not want to go to school. She still does not . She has no sen.

Our weeks are very different with no structure. I structured lessons before with her and it did not work. Each child needs to be taught in their own learning style and this is where the strength of home ed lies.
Our typical week is day out plus park trips and play dates, topic for the week or month or term already chosen, a list of work to be done that week is given to her and she goes through the list in her own time and chooses when and where she will do each piece of work. She comes to me for any that need my input, for instance maths always does. We do life skills, art and craft and cookery on top of this. She spend the rest of her day choreographing and videoing dance routines, singing, making slime and fulfilling orders as she sells it to her peers.

Some days no "work" is done and other days hours and hours as this is her choice and it suits her. In addition she attends structured groups for sport and art, she has previously attended french, choir, gym, violin and piano lessons and music classes for home ed children. These are structured lessons and classes but each term we look at her interests and she decides which lessons she wants to attend.

She also does extra curricular activities which have included horse riding, singing lessons, ballet and tap, cheerleading etc. She is very social and many of these groups are not home ed groups per se. We are able to access cheaper rates for lessons outside of normal times so this makes it easier to budget for but I do spend alot but probably about the same of it costs to send a child to school with uniform costs, trips and in school costs. Also school children do many extra curricular activities also, so I cant say that I spend more.

I order books online and use the library app for e books and magazines. Museums tend to be free and day trips can be paid for at school rate, if you contact the venue and some places are free when you email them or they send vouchers. Tesco and many supermarkets and restaurants do classes which you can access and educational tours, ie pizza express do a free pizza making class where each child learns about the history of pizza and makes their own pizza which they take home.

Many mothers i know who home ed work, some but not many do full time hours and/or night work. The largest group work 16 to 30 hours and its shift work, so childminders and friends are used or evening work so other parent is home. Some run businesses from home.

Also we tend to help out one another so lots of car pools to groups and classes.

I was my older daughter carer and a sahm but from next year i will be caring and working part time from home and plan to still home ed dd2.

I have been part of this community for years but i've read on here and spoken to so many people who are part of similar groups and communities. I'm moving away from mine but will happily travel back for some classes that cant be replicated in my new town and of course mine and my daughters friendships. I will seek out new opportunities and lessons and the new town has more to do and more things going on so that will be good.

If my daughter wants to go to school then yes she will go, many have asked this question. Its has always been about my dds needs and choices.

Just to add I'm degree educated and have lots of in work qualifications also and I continued to do courses as and when i could in subjects that i found interesting not with standing a stbex husband who curtailed all this.

Many of the mums I know are educated to degree level or A level but I've met some who barely did Gcses, yet their kids thrive as home ed is as much about common sense and facilitating as it is about teaching and the parents education level. Some have studied Gcses prior to their kids studying them to be able to help their child more. Also helping your own child learn is so far removed from a teacher with 30 or more kids in a classroom.

It worries me that probably 20% of the mums i know were teachers and two were deputy heads, yet they refuse to send their kids to school and withdrew the ones who had attended. There is a crisis in some schools and some areas which I think leads many to home ed where they would never have considered it before. I think most teachers do a great job given the resources.