I home educate my children, ama

[househelppl]

I haven’t been keeping up with with AMA threads (though I read a few and thought they were interesting) so apologies if this one has already been done.
But if it hasn’t, and you have any questions about home education, ask away!

Anyway I could go on about the decision to home ed if anyone's interested but long story short, I suggested it to the children and they loved the idea.

I’m interested.
I’m a primary school teacher, my eldest child starts in September.

I’m really interested to hear why people do this and how they manage it, it surprises me how much criticism HE receives, given some very obvious flaws in the current system. I don’t wish to do it myself, but I’d like to learn more. TV programmes about just focus on the ‘feral’ nature of HE, completely missing the point of what most people do.

My grandchildren are always busy doing something.
My daughter never sat them down with books and did formal lessons around the dining table.
Days have been so free and easy for them. They have had the most magnificent childhood. They meet with other home edders practically every day.
I can’t praise her enough for what she’s done. She’s made learning fun with no pressure.
There’s so much going on in the area that they can tap into. I remember them going to Durham university for talks on the Lindisfarne gospels for example
My school going grandchildren never get to do anything like this.

It’s a lovely community they are part of. There’s no bullying or name calling. The children are kind and helpful to one another as are the mothers.

Some mothers/ families are very well off, some are scraping to get by. It just depends what you want from life for your children.
I wish more families where there children are struggling at school could do it but I uunderstand in Many households a second income is crucial
Tutors who run these talks notice a big difference in home ed groups and school groups...the home edders ask more questions.

cyw DS is an only and we HE, he's also the most sociable child known to mankind, and we do lots of clubs and activities outside of his "school hours".
He and I have always had a very close bond, and I think HE has only furthered that.
I was worried it would put strain on our relationship, and there are times when he knows which buttons of mine to press and digs his heels in, but by the same token I know how to work around/through that.

It feels like we're on this amazing voyage of discovery together, and there is so much to learn and so much fun and joy to be had in it. That sounds so saccharine but its true. DS has always loved learning, and he adores HE.

I also think having the distinction between learning and socialising has been extremely good for him, he likes having the two separate and says he enjoys both more for it.

They go climbing, ice skating, paddle boarding, they attend engineering and drama groups, art classes and book clubs, they’ve done trampolining and freestyle gymnastics. There are sports classes, dance classes, groups co-operatives where the children do topic work together

This thread has made me think. It sounds very expensive with all the groups people go to plus tutoring. And clearly not being able to work.

I also had thought what's the point in home schooling if you are just buying in a tutor instead. And topic groups sounds very similar to school. But having thought about it, he is just a different way of getting an education that may also involve learning from a teacher/tutor, but obviously the structure of the day/week/curriculum is different.

I do always find it a bit grating that he people say 'my children get to make cakes, and sew, and go to nature reserves' like the rest of us aren't doing that.

Those all sound like very valid reasons to me, it’s great you’ve been able to give them that childhood. It’s interesting people often pick up on the children socialising as a potential issue, of course children socialise at school, but there are downsides to that, for example, it’s quite often other children in a school setting that can cause anxiety and worries. By educating them at home you can build their confidence gradually, and avoid some of the problems that stem from playground behaviours that teachers find it difficult to deal with.

Interested what home edders do about exam taking?

I do always find it a bit grating that he people say 'my children get to make cakes, and sew, and go to nature reserves' like the rest of us aren't doing that.

I know what you mean, but there’s a lot less in primary schools than they used to do, and I suppose at home you can do more of that sort of tjing.

I HE as well although I am in Scotland so the rules are different as is my experience of HE. I live in a council area where there were only 11 registered HEers and 4 of them were mine. I don't know what the latest figures are because I'm not really that interested but I have never actually met anyone else who home eds and no-one I speak to has ever heard of it before or has really strange ideas about it.

I HE because 3 of my kids are autistic, 1 has dysgraphis/dyslexia and 1 had a speech delay. The 4 eldest went to school but only the eldest stayed there. They were all really badly let down by the school and by the council and, despite diagnoses etc., were refused any help or support. The eldest stayed in school because he is very gifted musically and played in 4 bands, was captain of the debate team, despite his AS, ran the history club and was a Burns speaking champion who was being invited all over the place to "perform". He chose to stay in school to keep those things going.

The next three were all withdrawn en masse because of the problems we were having and the stress it was causing them to remain in school. They were 11, 8 and 6. DS2 is now an ecologist with a very good degree from the country's top uni, DS3 is in the midst of an HND in Sound Production and DD is about to start an Access to STEM course and plabs on being an aeronautic engineer. DS4 hasn't decided yet but will need to go to a college in the city that has a special course for kids with autism to help them develop the skills and confidence needed for college.

There are no HE groups here, no tuition centres, no way to access sitting Standard grades, or NAT5s as they are now, or highers, none of the things that there seems to be in England. My children have basically educated themselves with me helping them when they need it. We don't follow a curriculum and I don't impose work hours on the kids. They do book work when they want to, they direct their own learning almost completely.

I know someone asked about science experiments, we do some and always have but, in our local school anyway, the kids don't do experiments in class. There is a separate class called Lab Skills that you need to take if you want to do experiments. Mostly, if you are doing say |Physics and Chemistry, because you want to pursue science at uni, you won't have time in your timetable for Lab Skills so the majority of youngsters who do it are those who are not particularly science minded.

In response to the question about money, HE is really as expensive as you want it to be. We are very low income. I can't work as I have 2 chronic illnesses and before that I couldn't work any way because the kids were high needs, even though they were knocked back for DLA. We buy text books the odd time, less now that the children are older, but a lot of their "work" was done online or by actually doing stuff. When they were young, the most money was spent on arts and crafts stuff, tbh.

Do I get sick of them? Not really. When they were young, I would send them out to play, now they are older, they mostly do their own thing anyway.

Am I qualified? What does that mean? I have a good degree from a good uni, but it isn't in anything that they have ever been interested in and it is 30 years old. I am literate, numerate, have a very broad spectrum secondary education and have never been unable to help them or explain anything that they have asked. If I can't take it to a high enough level, we can find out togethr via books or the internet. I couldn't teach a class but I can help my own kids.

Socialising. Well most of my kids struggle with this, anyway, because of various difficulties, but they have friends, they belong to things like BB and GB, we found things like Warhammer/D&D groups for those interested in that. So, no, I have no worries in that front.

Sorry, I haven't read the full thread and can't remember any more questions just now, but I thought that I would give a slightly different perspective from those who have tons of groups etc. available to them.

What sort of budget do you set aside to cover HE (material, groups, activities, exams etc) at different ages? For those of you with experience of HE and state school, how does this compare to state school plus additional extra curricular activities? I'm fully aware from friends that state school is far from free (trips, uniforms, charity days etc.)

Again, I don't think that we are very typical but one of the things about secondary school is that I don't think that we could have afforded it! Between uniforms, bus fare every day, dinner money, trips, charity days and all the other things that money is needed for, HE was definitely cheaper. BUT, there are no groups, classes or anything else around here and some of my kids have social issues that curtail the amount of out the house stuff we do.

Days out cost us a fortune because I can't drive and train/bus fares for a large family cost money, even with the special tickets you get here and that's not even thinking about how much it costs to get in places. However, one of the best things we did regularly when they were younger was walk the 3 miles to the local country park and do "lessons" outdoors in the good weather. This cost nothing more than a packed lunch and maybe an ice creal from the shop. The kids did their maths etc. in the fresh air and then did out doorsy arts and crafts, nature spotting, herb gathering and all sorts of different activities.

In Primary School, I reckon the costs were about the same but spread over the year instead of concentrated into a few lumps.

I don't budget, either, lady. If we can afford it, we do it, if not, we don't. I'm happy if I have any money left over for HE after the rent/ct and bills are paid and the food is bought, tbh.

discotits what you say about building confidence really struck home, its also easier, I feel to teach resistance to peer pressure when you HE, at least its easier with DS anyway.

We aren't in the UK but we have had to educate as the education authority made the grand pronouncement that they couldn't school DS and so the only way for him to get a good education was for us to HE.

We have quite structured school days, and DH and I teach him most subjects although we now have tutors for IT, music and one of the languages he learns as his abilities in those have outstripped mine and we didn't want to hold him back.

It isn't cheap to HE, we get some help as it was the LEA who said they couldn't educate DS, but the help is minimal, I've had to fight hard for it, and combined with losing my income we have had to make a lot of changes to make it work.

Just remembered another one.

Exams - none of my kids sat exams, except DS1, of course. DS2 did an autism specific college course for a year when he was 18 and then a SWAP Access course. DS3 went straight to college on a level 5 course when he was 17, he got in after an interview and a core skills test. DD is going to college at 18 to do an access course after an interview. Traditional exams are not really necessary, there are other routes for most subjects and careers. and, as an aside, neither of my kids who have been to college/uni after HE had any issues adapting.

We home ed as well. Some people seem to have the idea that it's a free for all, that we do nothing at all, and that the children have no skills. Not true. We pick from the NC, and pull some from the US curriculums (for example, we studied the American Revolution last year and are currently doing some work on US geography) as I'm American and I want the children to have info on both the US and the UK. We also look at the governments of both countries and compare, as we look at current events. We do math work daily. My dcs have SEN, so mainstream and specialised school were tried first, but they weren't a good fit for either of them. My eldest went completely through the school system at the top of her class.

I agree it’s easier to teach resistance at home, you can see the knock some children’s confidence takes from being in the school setting.

I can also totally see why parents of children SEN etc would prefer to HE, I’ve had children in my class who were not adequately supported by the school (me being the only adult in a class of 30 children), although of course their parents weren’t always best placed to provide that support either, but that’s a different thread.

Just out of interest, what do people make of the term ‘unschooling’?

Do you find home education is an expensive option? So the cost of travel to meet ups with friends, the formal education you described your kids go to, alongside teaching material and general bits you need. I assume you have to pay for them to sit GCSE's. From what I understand of lots of home educators they may do a day trip around what they are learning, so do you find this sort of thing expensive compared to the minimal cost of a regular education (assuming uniform and school trips etc)

Also if your eldest doesn't enjoy college or finds it a difficult learning experience. So not the calm, small class sizes you are anticipating (my experience of college was very similar to the experience of school) Will you feel the same about the benefits of Home ed./school.

Can I ask another question :).

Do you feel that some parents underestimate the difficulties and the practicalities of home ed? I appreciate you and your dp are educated, but do you sometimes come across parents who don't have the knowledge and the ability of Home ed their kids to the level they need to pass exams/succeed in the adult world?

The term "unschooling" really annoys me! I can't quite quantify why but I think it's because it is suggesting that there are only two ways to educate - schooling or "un"schooling - when this is clealry not the case. I also think that kids benefit from a bit of structure in their lives, even though our HE is very unstructured compared to traditional school experiences. Whenever I see anything about unschooling it's always linked to a completely child led lifestyle, so no bedtimes, letting kids self-regulate their diet, behaviour, everything really. I'm not saying that this is true for all unschoolers (I've never met one) but it certainly seems to be the case with any blogs/articles I have come across.

I feel like I'm hijacking this thread from the OP. Apologies.