Being gender critical at work, Jk Rowling etc NHs

I'm sorry you are having to deal with Muppets at work on top of everything else. May your manger and their deputy suffer from painful piles and restless leg syndrome for the entirety of your cancer treatment!

As for the rest the others up thread are better than giving you advice but they are on thin ice, especially given you are married to a woman, do they really want to be THAT employer at a tribunal?

Your manager is taking a hostile and discriminatory approach to you. It's bullying. Firstly I'd record as accurately as you can all her comments to you - date, time, context, what you said, any witnesses etc. Play the long game.

Don't get into arguments with her - maybe rehearse a few responses to her comments:
"Can I clarify, are you telling me I must not use this mug? Please explain why?"

"Can you explain why you're accusing me of transphobia / homophobia? These are serious accusations so I need to be clear what it is you're accusing me of"

Presumably you're taking action about her comments about your mental health ? In which case, this is an escalation of that. So record, what's happening, try to stay calm and look at who her manager is - you may have to go abve her or to HR to raise this.
Good luck.

But are you safe to be in a room with your manager? She sounds mad to me..

When I was in the NHS they couldn't even spell most people's names right on ID badges, so they'll probably get the pronouns wrong too.

Such a pain for you to have to deal with this shite right now. Has your cancer made you a bit more 'fuck 'em!', would you say?

So your manager is ableist? And, given you're married to a woman, I wonder if she is also being homophobic? Are you in a union?

I'm terribly sorry to hear about your cancer. Are you having treatment, and how are you feeling overall?

Your manager is a thick nasty cow. I think you might be advised to keep the J K Rowling stuff to yourself for now, but complain to HR that she is creating a terrible work environment for you while you're ill. Is she 'safe' to be in a room with you? FFS, what an utter moron. How do people like this even pass their probation, never mind get promoted to manager?

I'm sorry, OP. Your employer is discriminating against you for your gender critical views. These are protected, and you would probably have a good case for an ET should you wish to pursue that.

https://sex-matters.org/

https://freespeechunion.org/

Agree with above, Maya Forstater and now Jo Phoenix have been there before you. Also Rachel Meade. It’s beyond stressful but you have done nothing wrong.

You could try this for the JKR stuff:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4998005-how-to-unpick-jkrs-transphobia

For the pronouns/phobic stuff I'd being quoting the appeal judgement in Forstater versus CGD Europe- being gender critical is a belief which is protected under the Equality Act, and suggest therefore that they are discriminating against you on the grounds of belief. Good luck, the NHS is awash with this nonsense.