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Original poster

A Mumsnet thread about a book about a Mumsnet thread “Under the Duvet of Darkness” written by the women of Mumsnet THREAD 2

988 replies

Boiledbeetle · 29/05/2023 23:25

Thread 1:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4776556-a-mumsnet-thread-about-a-book-about-a-mumsnet-thread-under-the-duvet-of-darkness-written-by-the-women-of-mumsnet?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

You do not need to have read thread 1 – this is not that sort of thread.

But to recap… Over Christmas and New Year after the passing of the GRR (Scotland) Bill a thread was started with a poem about Nicola Sturgeon. Eventually on that thread (and a couple of other threads) over 80 poems were written.

“Under the Duvet of Darkness: Poems written by angry women for angry women because WOMEN WON’T WHEESHT” was published as a paperback on 31st March 2023.

Available on Amazon only: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0C129WKDD

In a rather bizarre turn of events at one point it reached No 2 in poetry best sellers and No 5 in Feminist Criticism best sellers. No one will be surprised to discover that a book that is in the main about people, especially men, claiming to be something they are not was kept off the No1 spot in poetry best sellers by a crime novel, identifying as poetry, written by a man ;-)

E-BOOK:

Some people wanted an e-book rather than a paperback, but for that we needed someone who could actually make an e-book and some extra poems.

FairyKindleMother came to the rescue with regards the e-book and posters wrote enough poems that we could add 20 more poems into the e-book.

I pressed publish on the e-book a few hours ago. It can take usually up to 3 days to appear and populate all the info etc on the various sites, and there is always the chance they knock it back for some reason. But I've done all I can do at this point. We just have to wait and see who spots it on sale first! It will appear on the Amazon link above hopefully soon, (or I'll get an email asking me to change something).

MONEY FROM SALES OF ALL FORMATS:

In honour of Magdalen Berns, who co-founded the Scottish campaign group For Women Scotland, 100% of the profit from the sale of this book will be donated to For Women Scotland.

“It’s not hate to defend your rights, and it’s not hate to speak the truth.”
Magdalen Berns (1983 – 2019)

As I started work on the e-book posters continued to write poems. So we had a choice: leave them there, languishing on the thread, unloved, forgotten, never to have their words uttered again OR we could just do volume 2.

Posters voted for Volume 2 but we still need more poems!

And that’s the gist of thread 1.

A Mumsnet thread about a book about a Mumsnet thread “Under the Duvet of Darkness” written by the women of Mumsnet THREAD 2
A Mumsnet thread about a book about a Mumsnet thread “Under the Duvet of Darkness” written by the women of Mumsnet THREAD 2
A Mumsnet thread about a book about a Mumsnet thread “Under the Duvet of Darkness” written by the women of Mumsnet THREAD 2
A Mumsnet thread about a book about a Mumsnet thread “Under the Duvet of Darkness” written by the women of Mumsnet THREAD 2
A Mumsnet thread about a book about a Mumsnet thread “Under the Duvet of Darkness” written by the women of Mumsnet THREAD 2
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Original poster
Boiledbeetle · 17/08/2023 23:55

And as for volume 2 I have officially done fuck all today!

Like I said it's a process. A process that involves regular naps and polishing the roof! Anything actually other than what I'm supposed to be doing!

OP posts:
Original poster
Boiledbeetle · 17/08/2023 23:52

Another couple of sales.

A Mumsnet thread about a book about a Mumsnet thread “Under the Duvet of Darkness” written by the women of Mumsnet THREAD 2
OP posts:
Original poster
Boiledbeetle · 17/08/2023 20:32

😍

YAY! Cake wrote a poem! Cake wrote a poem!

Does a little happy dance around the living room.

and that's enough exercise for one day.

You lovely little gorgeous cake you!
💕

OP posts:
IcakethereforeIam · 17/08/2023 19:56

Nrtt, I've been avoiding it. I'm late to the party but inspiration was not striking. Every idea I had seemed Blush

Well, I've gone with teenagely portentous, if not pretentious. With sincere apologies to all teenagers. As I said, I haven't read the thread, if I have plagiarised someone it's a total coincidence, but, as McGonagal is in his grave, I think it's unlikely. And mine doesn't rhyme. It also just.....stops.

Without further ado

When the World Went Mad

I'm not sure what I was doing
when the world went mad
Nothing momentous
Possibly cooking tea
As lesbians suddenly had penises
Or hanging out the clothes to dry
When rapists were taken to women's prisons
It was when my back was turned
That breasts were chopped from language
and the bodies of children
Maybe I was at the shops
While politicians forgot what women were
Or alone and nervously walking home
As men stripped off in the ladies changing rooms
Surely not while having a smear
That cervix became a word that must not be said
When was it that I stopped being mum?
And became the birthing parent
I don't remember being asked
I don't remember my opinion being sought
I don't think anyone asked if I minded

Anyway tea was made and eaten
The clothes are dry and put away
I made it home safely
This time my smear was clear
And to my children I'm still 'mum'
(though also 'terf')
So, I'm not waiting to be asked
I'm giving my opinion
And I do mind 🦕

SinnerBoy · 17/08/2023 04:32

Cervix and the Amazing Technicolour Tunnocks Wrapper..

Good for your Daughter of Immense Sensibleness, by the way!

Original poster
Boiledbeetle · 16/08/2023 23:19

It's only day two, I'm pacing myself. I've got no clue as to what poems are in there at the moment or what numbers they are. Give me a week or so and I'll know these poems and their numbers backwards.

I'm finally at the point where I can no longer find anything immediately in the first one which means the first lot are sufficiently forgotten that I'm not getting them mixed up with the current ones!

This wasn't what I imagined I'd be doing with my life this year if I'm honest!

OP posts:
CervixSampler · 16/08/2023 23:00

I'm just thrilled to be included in there and in awe of your dedication.

Original poster
Boiledbeetle · 16/08/2023 21:46

CervixSampler · 16/08/2023 21:40

I can see mine in that pile! It's very exciting 😃

Hopefully by the time your kids are done with high school all this crap will be done with!

😁 I've just had to look at the actual photo. Your eyesight is good!

Of course I have no idea what poem numbers you will end up as, but until the final order is set you are P121 and P122. It's the only way I ensure I don't fuck up!

OP posts:
CervixSampler · 16/08/2023 21:40

I can see mine in that pile! It's very exciting 😃

CervixSampler · 16/08/2023 21:37

Yes, she's 14 and my pride and joy. She tolerates no nonsense from the alphabet soup brigade at school and is polite but firm in her challenges or just refuses to discuss the ideology. I think her year are more sensible than some previous years. I'm considering sending ds to the Catholic high school to avoid the gender woo.

Original poster
Boiledbeetle · 16/08/2023 20:49

Fuck it.... Series one of original star trek is begging me to continue watching. I'm knackered just from printing all the poems out. That's enough for one day!

OP posts:
Original poster
Boiledbeetle · 16/08/2023 20:46

Sits with a pile of paper.I

Sighs.

Contemplates changing username and disappearing into the ether

Oh god why? Why did I decide this was a good idea!

OP posts:
Original poster
Boiledbeetle · 16/08/2023 20:43

This is to prove I'm actually not just sat on my arse playing candy crush.

I mean I am, but I'm also on with the thingy. Honest.

I've just stuck a poem on each page and printed it off. Which turned out to be a nightmare as printer 1 decided to break and printer 2 was at the back of the room of doom. Of course printer 2 once rescued from the depths of doom wouldn't work with the new laptop so i then had to email myself the file so i could print from the old laptop.

Why is stuff never easy!

Anyway, now I can mess around with them.

Laughs evily!

A Mumsnet thread about a book about a Mumsnet thread “Under the Duvet of Darkness” written by the women of Mumsnet THREAD 2
A Mumsnet thread about a book about a Mumsnet thread “Under the Duvet of Darkness” written by the women of Mumsnet THREAD 2
A Mumsnet thread about a book about a Mumsnet thread “Under the Duvet of Darkness” written by the women of Mumsnet THREAD 2
OP posts:
Original poster
Boiledbeetle · 16/08/2023 19:26

CervixSampler · 16/08/2023 18:21

Dd has said she will take your book into school for her reading book. It's a fully captured place with rainbow blocks painted on the bricks and a big rainbow flag flying outside 🙄 They have a Mx as a biology teacher ffs.

Without going off and checking she is a teenager isn't she? I think I'm right. I hope I'm right!

Can you imagine the one of horror if darling little Cervix is 6!

I look forward to the outcome! You've raised her well I have to say!

Full on terf. And so young! There is hope!

OP posts:
CervixSampler · 16/08/2023 18:21

Dd has said she will take your book into school for her reading book. It's a fully captured place with rainbow blocks painted on the bricks and a big rainbow flag flying outside 🙄 They have a Mx as a biology teacher ffs.

Original poster
Boiledbeetle · 16/08/2023 17:09

Thanks Cervix.

August is proving to be a slow month, but we've had 7 sales, which is better than a slap in the face with a wet kipper!

I have achieved nothing to day, but have had two naps already. Looks at laptop... Ugggg.

A Mumsnet thread about a book about a Mumsnet thread “Under the Duvet of Darkness” written by the women of Mumsnet THREAD 2
OP posts:
CervixSampler · 16/08/2023 08:15

Here you go Boiledbeetle:

I close my eyes
Pull up my duvet
In the darkness
And hope to dream
Of sweet things
Of perfect diamond patterned wafers
Nestled next to layered caramel like lovers
Shrouded in chocolate
A thin robe of silken sweetness
In the darkness
I lie awake
Awaiting slumber
And slowly drift on clouds of mallow
Sticky sweetness
Encased in a dome of delight
These sweet dreams
Lead me through the night
Under the duvet
In the darkness.

Original poster
Boiledbeetle · 16/08/2023 02:03

CervixSampler · 16/08/2023 01:29

@Boiledbeetle I think I love you 💚🤍💜

Why thank you 😘

Cat Bow To Me GIF
OP posts:
CervixSampler · 16/08/2023 01:29

@Boiledbeetle I think I love you 💚🤍💜

Original poster
Boiledbeetle · 15/08/2023 22:54

And we have another addition to the Tunnocks chapter!

From the Tunnocks thread

CervixSampler · 15/08/2023 21:06

Tunnocks Sisters

Rise up women!
Come one and all,
Come with your Tunnocks
Whether wafer or snowball
If a teacake's your thing
Then you must of course bring
A box or two, or three or four
And share them with your sisters as we march on tour
Fighting strong,
Marching long
Never wavering
From that sweet flavouring
We all do adore.

By Cervix Sampler (bereft at the lack of caramel wafers in my tin).

And so I don't forget I've asked

Boiledbeetle · 15/08/2023 21:32

Oops, where are My manners! I really should ask before I pilfer your poem.

assumes best Paddington bear hard stare.

Can I put your poem in the book?

Obviously, big sigh, you CAN say no.

It's not advisable though! I'm prone to sulking!

CervixSampler · 15/08/2023 21:41

Please do! I'd love to see it published. I used writing poetry to get through my teenage years. The Tunnocks is just a little ditty for fun.

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Original poster
Boiledbeetle · 15/08/2023 21:57

So, something to ponder...

The Merkin Lady herself was enquiring earlier about the possibility of doing a live event with some of the poem writers.

Just putting that out there.

God this has been a very surreal year so far!

OP posts:
SinnerBoy · 15/08/2023 18:25

Boiledbeetle:· Today 17:09

I ❤ your gran

I did, too. I think that her greatest moment of magnificence was when she was banned from her (rural) local pub.

She upset some Irish road workers, with her bad language.

Original poster
Boiledbeetle · 15/08/2023 18:05

THE MERKIN LADY

It was a bleak day in December when the Bill from hell was passed.
We’d all sat and listened to the most egregious lies rehashed.
Knowing that the politicians had been whipped to vote
was doomed to be the only thing to cling on to whilst we coped.
Then the voting was all over, and the proclamation read.
The women of the country felt they might as well be dead.
Our rights had just been decimated to placate the whims of men,
Nic knew what she had bloody done, but she didn’t want to ken.

Then like an angel from above the heroine of this piece
floated from the sky on clouds of silk and fluffy geese.
She floated through the air like a sky nymph wrapped in love,
surrounded on her journey by a pitying of turtle doves.
They gently placed her…

What do you mean it didn’t happen quite like this?
This is my re-telling of that moment of historic bliss.
Can’t I have my fantasy of how it all played out?
Shit! Imagine if the history books believed me without doubt!
OK! Ignore that bit. Scrub from ‘Then like an angel from above’
So back on to the true version of my historic merkin love…

After the Bill was passed, and in a fit of pique,
Elaine Miller, she decided, that she just had to speak.
And as she finished speaking, she lifted up her skirt,
and the merkin of this tale proved to be an extrovert.
It flashed itself to Parliament and to a recording phone.
Then, it hit the world stage, and now it sits upon its throne.

A piece of women’s history was sealed in that moment.
A highlight in the misery. A most wonderful bestowment
to those who’ll pass the story on to the future generations:
The Merkin Lady raised her skirt, to save them from privations.
She stood up for her rights, and what she knew to be so true,
to make the world a better place for every one of you.

And so now the Merkin Lady holds a spot within my heart.
She makes a smile appear, for what she did was like fine art.

Screams "I LOVE YOU ELAINE" (The stalker vibes emanating off me are purely coincidental. Honest!)

OP posts:
Original poster
Boiledbeetle · 15/08/2023 17:09

I ❤ your gran

OP posts:
SinnerBoy · 15/08/2023 16:08

Huzzah! She had a wealth of quirky comments. Another apt one for trying to reason with TRA nuts:

Don't bother, it's like trying to teach stones to fart.