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Original poster

A Mumsnet thread about a book about a Mumsnet thread “Under the Duvet of Darkness” written by the women of Mumsnet THREAD 2

988 replies

Boiledbeetle · 29/05/2023 23:25

Thread 1:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4776556-a-mumsnet-thread-about-a-book-about-a-mumsnet-thread-under-the-duvet-of-darkness-written-by-the-women-of-mumsnet?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

You do not need to have read thread 1 – this is not that sort of thread.

But to recap… Over Christmas and New Year after the passing of the GRR (Scotland) Bill a thread was started with a poem about Nicola Sturgeon. Eventually on that thread (and a couple of other threads) over 80 poems were written.

“Under the Duvet of Darkness: Poems written by angry women for angry women because WOMEN WON’T WHEESHT” was published as a paperback on 31st March 2023.

Available on Amazon only: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0C129WKDD

In a rather bizarre turn of events at one point it reached No 2 in poetry best sellers and No 5 in Feminist Criticism best sellers. No one will be surprised to discover that a book that is in the main about people, especially men, claiming to be something they are not was kept off the No1 spot in poetry best sellers by a crime novel, identifying as poetry, written by a man ;-)

E-BOOK:

Some people wanted an e-book rather than a paperback, but for that we needed someone who could actually make an e-book and some extra poems.

FairyKindleMother came to the rescue with regards the e-book and posters wrote enough poems that we could add 20 more poems into the e-book.

I pressed publish on the e-book a few hours ago. It can take usually up to 3 days to appear and populate all the info etc on the various sites, and there is always the chance they knock it back for some reason. But I've done all I can do at this point. We just have to wait and see who spots it on sale first! It will appear on the Amazon link above hopefully soon, (or I'll get an email asking me to change something).

MONEY FROM SALES OF ALL FORMATS:

In honour of Magdalen Berns, who co-founded the Scottish campaign group For Women Scotland, 100% of the profit from the sale of this book will be donated to For Women Scotland.

“It’s not hate to defend your rights, and it’s not hate to speak the truth.”
Magdalen Berns (1983 – 2019)

As I started work on the e-book posters continued to write poems. So we had a choice: leave them there, languishing on the thread, unloved, forgotten, never to have their words uttered again OR we could just do volume 2.

Posters voted for Volume 2 but we still need more poems!

And that’s the gist of thread 1.

A Mumsnet thread about a book about a Mumsnet thread “Under the Duvet of Darkness” written by the women of Mumsnet THREAD 2
A Mumsnet thread about a book about a Mumsnet thread “Under the Duvet of Darkness” written by the women of Mumsnet THREAD 2
A Mumsnet thread about a book about a Mumsnet thread “Under the Duvet of Darkness” written by the women of Mumsnet THREAD 2
A Mumsnet thread about a book about a Mumsnet thread “Under the Duvet of Darkness” written by the women of Mumsnet THREAD 2
A Mumsnet thread about a book about a Mumsnet thread “Under the Duvet of Darkness” written by the women of Mumsnet THREAD 2
OP posts:
Thread gallery
190
SaleOfTwoTitties · 25/08/2023 15:01

You have all inspired me
Here is my effort:

My limbs are long
My limbs are short
I have flat loafers on my feet
It makes no difference which shoes I bought
You can tell I'm a woman
Whenever we meet

My hips are narrow
My hips are wide
Trousers skirt or dress
It makes no difference the patterns I tried
You can tell I'm a woman
A beautiful mess

Don't call me haver
Don't call me cis
Aggression and shadow
I'll never be this
Cancel and argue I'll say what I see
You are not a woman
You'll never be me

Original poster
Boiledbeetle · 25/08/2023 13:58

@IcakethereforeIamDo you think they'd get it right? Do you think you'd lose many?

When you are a published author I'm going to strong arm ask really really nicely if we should all get together for a poetry reading.

only half joking!

OP posts:
IcakethereforeIam · 25/08/2023 13:21

Just thought, when I become a published poet, dahling, I can toss a copy of the book to my friends and family and see if they can guess which one's mine. I think that'll get 'em to read it. Definitely will either lose friends or influence people.

Original poster
Boiledbeetle · 24/08/2023 14:24

ooh an extra verse! Thank you @BreadInCaptivity 😁

OP posts:
BreadInCaptivity · 24/08/2023 14:21

Here boiled updated:

[Name name] we have all seen the news,
That tweet has had 2.2 million views,
So give your head a wobble,
Whilst it's under its bobble,
Cos this fight is one you will lose.

You identify as a lawyering lass,
Yet on both counts you fail to pass,
We know the things you have done,
So stick that up yer bum,
You can't delete knowledge en mass.

So try to legal yourself out of reach,
Whilst Mumsnetters reach for eye bleach,
Some sights can’t be unseen,
But we took one for the team,
To ensure the truth about you we can teach.

Original poster
Boiledbeetle · 24/08/2023 13:57

I didn't get yours! the screen had frozen and I didn't dare refresh until I got the one above as I thought it would refresh to the deleted thing and it did.

I shall add it to the collection.

I actually sent you a PM about your pride and shame one if you get a chance

OP posts:
Waitwhat23 · 24/08/2023 13:29

My poem about bobblehead was posted at almost exactly the same time as the thread was zapped!

It's all over, dude.
You can howl into the void,
But everyone knows.

Original poster
Boiledbeetle · 24/08/2023 09:32

@BreadInCaptivity

BreadInCaptivity yesterday 23:04

(Apologies to Bread for any spelling errors that have occurred during copying and pasting. These will be corrected when I stick it in the book!)

Stevie Strawlair we have all seen the news,
That tweet has had 2.2 million views,
So give your head a wobble,
Whilst it's under its bobble,
Cos this fight is one you will lose.

You identify as a lawyering lass,
Yet on both counts you fail to pass,
We know the things you have done,
So stick that up yer bum,
You can't delete knowledge en mass

I’m fairly sure any similarity to any persons living or dead is purely coincidental. No really it is. Hard stare... exactly! Like I said, purely coincidental.*

  • :-)
OP posts:
Original poster
Boiledbeetle · 21/08/2023 20:25

So Amazon have decided today my book shall be sold at £7.48! You can save a whopping 2p! It's a bargain I tell you!

A Mumsnet thread about a book about a Mumsnet thread “Under the Duvet of Darkness” written by the women of Mumsnet THREAD 2
OP posts:
FairyKindleMother · 19/08/2023 21:33

DON'T PANIC

So, your royalty is based on the list price you set on your KDP Print page, not on the price at which Amazon chooses to sell it.

There are numerous reasons why Amazon Reduces Print Book Prices, usually, Amazon will change a book's price because:

A) its knowledge base indicates that you will sell more books at that price than the one you chose

B) the book is already doing well and it thinks it will sell even better with a discount

Of course, this is not an altruistic decision on Amazon's part: the more books you sell, the more money Amazon makes, and that it is priority.

Occasionally another reason might kick in:

C) Amazon has a small number of a book in stock which isn't selling, and it wants to free up warehouse space

You didn't accidentally agree to something. It's just Amazon being Amazon!

Disappears in a puff of smoke. Keanu won't watch himself you know!

Original poster
Boiledbeetle · 19/08/2023 20:41

And now it's gone from £7.11 to £7.29? I don't remember agreeing to that with Amazon! To be honest i can't remember what I did agree to but I'm fairly ish sure I didn't agree to price fluctuations. And why now? Why it's it doing this now???? Half way through August!

I need @FairyKindleMother . But she's off watching movies tonight! How very dare she!

OP posts:
Original poster
Boiledbeetle · 19/08/2023 15:56

We're on offer 🙃 which was news to me. But you can currently buy it with 5% off!!!

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0C129WKDD

A Mumsnet thread about a book about a Mumsnet thread “Under the Duvet of Darkness” written by the women of Mumsnet THREAD 2
OP posts:
Original poster
Boiledbeetle · 19/08/2023 00:26

Sold another 2 yesterday.

Had a look at the total total sold as well

Not too shabby.
457.

A Mumsnet thread about a book about a Mumsnet thread “Under the Duvet of Darkness” written by the women of Mumsnet THREAD 2
A Mumsnet thread about a book about a Mumsnet thread “Under the Duvet of Darkness” written by the women of Mumsnet THREAD 2
OP posts:
Original poster
Boiledbeetle · 18/08/2023 19:51

Many thanks😁

OP posts:
IcakethereforeIam · 18/08/2023 19:34

Dim problemio

When the World Went Mad

I'm not sure what I was doing
when the world went mad
Nothing momentous
Possibly cooking tea
As lesbians suddenly had penises
Or hanging out the clothes to dry
When rapists were taken to women's prisons
It was when my back was turned
That breasts were chopped from language
and the bodies of children
Maybe I was at the shops
While politicians forgot what women were
Or alone and nervously walking home
As men stripped off in the ladies changing rooms
Surely not while having a smear
That cervix became a word that must not be said
When was it that I stopped being mum?
And became the birthing parent
I don't remember being asked
I don't remember my opinion being sought
I don't think anyone questioned if I minded

Anyway, tea was made and eaten
The clothes are dry and put away
I made it home safely
This time my smear was clear
And to my children I'm still 'mum'
(though also 'terf')
So, I'm not waiting to be asked
I'm giving my opinion
And I do mind 🦕

Original poster
Boiledbeetle · 18/08/2023 19:28

Erm..

Well this is embarrassing.

If you'd like to repost the corrected version that would be fine.

And then I might actually get around to printing yours off.

😘

A Mumsnet thread about a book about a Mumsnet thread “Under the Duvet of Darkness” written by the women of Mumsnet THREAD 2
OP posts:
IcakethereforeIam · 18/08/2023 19:20

@Boiledbeetle at the risk of sounding a bit diva-ish, I, somehow, wrote my poem very quickly and it's very much a first draft. I'm pretty happy with it (while being simultaneously embarrassed by it) but there are a couple of changes I'd like.

Could I change the 2nd 'asked' (line 20?), I think it's repeated too soon. The best substitution I can think of is 'questioned'.

A comma after 'Anyway'.

That's it.

I'll be in my dressing room.

Original poster
Boiledbeetle · 18/08/2023 16:00

Sticks second cake poem in pocket

There is currently some that have not yet found their first chapter home. But I've got most of them into what are currently the most boring chapter headings ever.

Until I've had time to read through them all a few times they can stay where they are though for now.

A Mumsnet thread about a book about a Mumsnet thread “Under the Duvet of Darkness” written by the women of Mumsnet THREAD 2
A Mumsnet thread about a book about a Mumsnet thread “Under the Duvet of Darkness” written by the women of Mumsnet THREAD 2
OP posts:
IcakethereforeIam · 18/08/2023 09:41

And, as I lay me down to sleep,
I pray to God that Tunnocks keep
Out of my ears, or I'll not hear the alarm

Original poster
Boiledbeetle · 18/08/2023 06:44

Layer not later!

Why can't you see mistakes before you press the post button? I'm convinced the letters change as you press the button!

OP posts:
Original poster
Boiledbeetle · 18/08/2023 06:43

If you laid on a bed of Tunnocks,
I dread to think of the bath required.

You'd probably need to be helped
by someone with a pressure hose

Then when you're all clean
And they are all tired

You can send them to bed
On the later if Tunnocks from which you arose.

And no this one is most definitely NOT making an appearance in volume 2.

I'm not that cruel to readers.

I'm up and ready to get started.....

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

OP posts:
SinnerBoy · 18/08/2023 04:03

If you laid on a bed of Tunnocks, I dread to think of the bath required. You'd probably need to be helped by someone with a pressure washer.

Original poster
Boiledbeetle · 18/08/2023 00:08

We must be neighbours! Although probably the next road. I had a bird issue early this morning.

Someone had dropped their chips on the way home last night so I awoke this morning to a flock of seagulls (not the band) sat on my roof in between bouts of street fighter playing out in the middle of the road!

And pleadr don't lie in the Tunnocks, trying to clean the mess up is so difficult. Do I use the brush, the mop, the Hoover, my tongue?

OP posts:
IcakethereforeIam · 18/08/2023 00:03

I'll reword that, it sounds wasteful, kinky and really, really sticky.

I'll get some Tunnocks in.

IcakethereforeIam · 18/08/2023 00:01

I was woken at fuckoff o'clock this morning by a Magpie pecking at the moss on my roof. So, when you've finished polishing yours, would you pop round to do mine?

I'll lay in some Tunnocks.