Feeling less safe alone in daylight: is anyone else noticing this?

All of these are things that would have made me cautious but it’s not a new thing, I’m 50s and I don’t feel any less aware than I did when I was 18. Perhaps you are just noticing it more? The mad phone thefts is quite a newish (comparatively) thing but why did you throw your phone in a bush so you had to loiter to retrieve rather than put it in your bag/pocket?

I don't quite know how to respond to this. I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I have not felt compelled to throw my phone in a bush recently.

What does looking out of place in the area mean?

You dropped your phone in a bush? Why didn't you slip it back in your bag or pocket?
You seem hypervigilant, nothing here sounds profoundly dangerous. Hard to comment without being in the situation. What did you reply to the migrant comment?.

Actually Op, I would agree with your sentiment.

There is a lot more anti social behaviour where I live, and it’s definitely spreading through all areas here, including the leafy suburbs - masked kids on e bikes, riding on pavements etc. I hear of phone grabs etc, but have never witnessed such.

Certainly here ( Scotland) the chances of getting police to help patrol these issues is very remote. They are so under-resourced. And I do think that lets some people think they can get away with anything.

Because he could steal the bag presumably.

What you seem to be saying OP is that you think there are more dangerous men around than there used to be? Or a change in demographics in your area leading to more dangerous men.

In response, yes I have noticed this. I live in a very safe area but for the first time since I moved here a decade ago I have changed what I do to remain safe. There have been a spate of attacks and thefts in an area I used to like to go to and cycle through with my kids. Attacks/thefts by young men riding e-bikes. Police have upped their patrols in the area as a result but families I know are no longer letting their kids cycle or go to that area ( which was a popular cycle/ walking area).

There is so much hateful rhetoric on social media right now, it's not surprising that you are feeling more wary - however, it is just people scare mongering and trying to create division, crime rates are actually going down. Try to feel less anxious, look into the statistics in your area, speak to real people about their actual experiences.

I haven’t but that’s not me trying to minimise how you’re feeling because how you feel is how you feel.
I live in an area, like many, where wealth rubs up against poverty. I’ve always just walked about living my life, happy walking about in the dark with big headphones on listening to a podcast. The majority of crimes reported on around here are drugs related and involve people in that world. It’s not my world, I keep myself to myself when out and about. I don’t look over my shoulder when I’m walking in the dark, I stride with confidence and crack on with my life.
As a mixed race woman in her 40’s I’ve come to learn I have a place in the world and I’m not letting any dickhead make me live in fear or cower in shadows or change my route without good bloody reason. I’m not scared.
But that’s because I’ve grown up needing a thick skin and maybe I’m now just a fully fledged thick skinned person who naively believes nothing will happen to them. And that’s okay with me.

Also young men wearing masks/ balaclavas whilst riding e-bikes are now a common sight - and in all areas - affluent areas as well as less affluent areas. It is intimidating.

It would appear that when people tell you their actual experiences you tell them that they have just been frightened by rhetoric on social media 🙄 You've got a complete closed loop there.

Dd thought I was neurotic warning her about phone theft in central London when she went let a friend until the man she standing next to had his phone grabbed out of hands while he was on a call.

I feel safe in London at midnight alone. But I am old and brown- thank god- and few men are interested in chatting me up anymore.

You have had some bad luck too. I am not trying to minimise anything. I wouldnt have thrown my phone in a bush though.

I think area I am in goes through phases of feeling unsafe. Have been times when there have been lot of beggers or large groups of drinking men or large groups of men round or lots of shouting women.

A few years ago felt very unsafe to point started avoiding entirely found a few other women were doing the same then it all sort of stopped and reset.

Interesting DD1 who been wander around a bigish city by herself for a few years recently phone a friend after going into town by herself as she said the vibe was sketchy - it was in day light. She fine walking back from work in our surburb.

There are more police round the center so think there have been problems but last trip by myself I felt okay.

It did manage to get in hate, scaremongering and 'trying to create division,' though, so a few boxes ticked on the score card. Was 'far right' there or did I miss it?

The most trouble I have had is from pranking teens who want to make Tiktok videos. Occ they tip over into racist sweary teens.

The main difference I’ve noticed is there seem to be more groups of adults hanging around on the street at all times of day and night, not sitting outside pubs or bus stops or anything like that but just hanging out, often smoking weed.
When I was younger you’d get groups of teens doing that but never adults, I do find it “sketchy” to quote PP

This is absolutely true. So intimidating. And I don't think OP is being over-vigilant at all, just wise.

I'm aware crime is generally lower than in the past but, with clear up rates for theft, burglary and sexual offences so woefully low, I don't see it staying that way.

Nothing actually happened in any of the situations the OP described though?

1. all you had to do was put it in your bag
2. what do you mean by “looks out of place”? Maybe he realised he was going the wrong way?
3. no he didn’t. I can put money on it. There is no way someone actually said those words.
4. a man stopped in a lay-by?

to be honest a lot of this just sounds like you being very anxious.

Okay, what is so pernicious about the line you are taking is that it encourages women to ignore their instincts and ignore their intuition.

OP took action to protect herself in each of the cases she described to ensure nothing happened. If she had squashed her fears with the type of rhetoric you spout, something may have happened.

By encouraging women to ' be kind' and to just believe that when they are worried they are not safe its because of ' hate on online', you are putting women at risk.

Women should never ignore their instincts and yes, it is always better to err on the side of caution and be safe. Your politically motivated stance puts women at risk.

The weirdest thing about this thread is that you purposefully dropped your phone in a bush!!

To answer your question, no I don't feel less safe during daylight or at night-time. I'm not sure you can blame this on menopause OP. Do you live in a particularly high crime area?

Nice bit of gaslighting there.

I am more about living in reality rather than the imaginary world where there is a predator on every corner. For too long, women have been trapped by unnecessary fear and it's getting worse for people like the OP.

There are people trying to divide society and sow fear and distrust and they definitely are politically motivated.

I've always been wary - or certainly since I was mugged in my 20s. I have a job which sometimes requires going to dodgy areas of towns/cities or out in the countryside where there aren't many people around. I've had to go to my boss twice now about feeling unsafe and I think he thinks I'm a bit paranoid, but I've watched enough true crime documentaries that I know what can happen and how quickly. You can be attacked in a matter of seconds and it can ruin your life (or even end your life). It can happen in the daylight or in the dark. All that needs to happen is a lone man with malign intent encounters a lone woman.

@putmeonthebackburner "what do you mean by “looks out of place”? Maybe he realised he was going the wrong way?"

People can look out of place. I've lived on a large council estate for 30 years and my neighbours and I would definitely look twice at someone in a sharp suit and tie. Actually, we'd assume they were debt collectors. It's not helpful to suggest it's prejudice to imply that someone looks out of place. Wasn't that a major problem with the Manchester Arena bombing? Security were too scared to point out that the Asian male with a giant backpack was clearly not the concert's typical demographic.