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Feeling less safe alone in daylight: is anyone else noticing this?

117 replies

AmIParanoidAboutRandomMen · 24/09/2026 11:26

I’m a female mid-40s and feel like over the past year I’ve had an increasing number of incidents where I have been out and about alone and felt intimidated by a lone man.

Is it just me, am I becoming more paranoid as I hit menopause age, or is this a thing others have noticed?

Here are some examples. Would these scare you too?

For context I live in an affluent market town and all these things happened in “nice” areas in daylight. I’ve always been very independent and adventurous in the past, and would think nothing of travelling alone or going for long bike rides or trail runs or hiking alone. I’m not a timid person.

  1. walking along affluent residential road in middle of day. Phone out as sending friend voice note. Man passes me from behind on one of those illegal type e-bikes, clocks my phone in my hand, 30 seconds later turns around and rides back towards me. I had sensed something dodgy so had dropped my phone into a bush before he turned round. He sees I no longer have phone in hand and rides away
  1. walking down wealthy residential nice road. Daytime. Man (who looks out of place in that area) walks the other way past me. 30 seconds later I’m aware he’s turned around and is behind me. I notice a house nearby is having building work done and builders are there so I go up the driveway of that house and chat to the builders until the man is gone.
  1. Out for a walk I’m about to head into the woods down a public footpath. Lone man behind me so I stop to see which way he’s going / let him pass and he says “are you worried I’m a migrant trying to follow you” or something similar.
  1. Out on a bike ride on a country lane. Man on moped passes me and clearly checks me out. I turn the corner and notice he’s stopped in the next lay-by. I turn around and cycle another route.

Despite being a lone runner I’ve actually just signed up for a running club as I’m not sure I feel safe running alone now. I’ve also stopped using my phone when out walking about.

OP posts:
violetcuriosity · 24/09/2026 13:44

Why do you keep referring to the areas being affluent? Are you implying that you are more surprised that you feel this way in a ‘nice’ area as it reads that you would expect poorer areas to keep these nasties….

putmeonthebackburner · 24/09/2026 13:46

ginasevern · 24/09/2026 13:42

@putmeonthebackburner "what do you mean by “looks out of place”? Maybe he realised he was going the wrong way?"

People can look out of place. I've lived on a large council estate for 30 years and my neighbours and I would definitely look twice at someone in a sharp suit and tie. Actually, we'd assume they were debt collectors. It's not helpful to suggest it's prejudice to imply that someone looks out of place. Wasn't that a major problem with the Manchester Arena bombing? Security were too scared to point out that the Asian male with a giant backpack was clearly not the concert's typical demographic.

I never implied prejudice. I asked the OP to explain.

greybasketwithholes · 24/09/2026 19:22

TheSmallAssassin · 24/09/2026 13:36

I am more about living in reality rather than the imaginary world where there is a predator on every corner. For too long, women have been trapped by unnecessary fear and it's getting worse for people like the OP.

There are people trying to divide society and sow fear and distrust and they definitely are politically motivated.

In the real world it is perfectly sensible and rational for a woman to be concerned if a man changes direction to follow after her.

Your imaginary world contains right wing bogeyman on every corner seeking the inexplicable goal of ‘dividing us’.

TheSmallAssassin · 24/09/2026 19:59

greybasketwithholes · 24/09/2026 19:22

In the real world it is perfectly sensible and rational for a woman to be concerned if a man changes direction to follow after her.

Your imaginary world contains right wing bogeyman on every corner seeking the inexplicable goal of ‘dividing us’.

Edited

Meanwhile, we have an OP who posts about the threatening world we are living in now, where women are afraid to go out in the daytime and then never comes back.

AmIParanoidAboutRandomMen · 24/09/2026 20:50

we have an OP who posts about the threatening world we are living in now, where women are afraid to go out in the daytime and then never comes back

I’ve been away for a few hours because I work and have DC to raise if that’s allowed !

OP posts:
AmIParanoidAboutRandomMen · 24/09/2026 20:54

To answer some questions I didn’t “throw” my phone I dropped it. I think I was wearing maybe leggings and a T-shirt so didn’t necessarily have pockets and I rarely carry a bag

OP posts:
AmIParanoidAboutRandomMen · 24/09/2026 20:55

Nothing actually happened in any of the situations the OP described though

But maybe nothing happened because I was vigilant and took steps to prevent it?

OP posts:
AmIParanoidAboutRandomMen · 24/09/2026 20:57

I wasn’t looking to start a political thread I was just talking about my personal feelings and wondering if I’m alone. So I think I’ll exit now.

thanks all who took the time to respond

OP posts:
HRHCurmudgeon · 24/09/2026 21:10

I have felt my gut instinct once in the last 5 years. Once but recent.

I was in a busy, touristy park in a major UK city (not London) and walked past a bloke dressed fully in black. He wasn’t hiding - he was standing smoking a fag, right on the path. He absolutely clocked me as I walked past. I knew it - senses working overtime.

I stopped to look at something (unrelated although my hackles were up). When I then cracked on with my walk, he was in front of me and he had stopped and moved to the side of the path. Every single fibre of my being screamed at me. I wasn’t necessarily scared because I heard my gut and knew I was in a busy location but I absofuckinglutely knew to turn the fuck around.

Once. In 5 years. A white (seemed) British guy making that area feel very very unsafe.

ETA for a typo and also to add that the Bad Man had stopped again up in front of me.

OldWallpaper · 24/09/2026 21:25

greybasketwithholes · 24/09/2026 12:34

It would appear that when people tell you their actual experiences you tell them that they have just been frightened by rhetoric on social media 🙄 You've got a complete closed loop there.

That’s exactly what I thought too!

Disturbia81 · 24/09/2026 22:37

I’ve noticed more sexual comments and approaches as I’ve got older, creepy comments, which surprises me as I thought men had progressed

Empress13 · 25/09/2026 09:18

For one I would keep away from lone public paths and woodland. Throwing phone in bush was a bit extreme. Yes we all need to be vigilant these days men as well as women. It’s not only women who get attacked. The world is a scary place but we can’t let that stop us from living our lives just have to be more vigilant which you have done.

PauliesWalnuts · 25/09/2026 09:23

I think this is just yet another poorly disguised thread posted by one of the far-right bots - they are getting so easy to spot.

IWishIWasASquirrel · 25/09/2026 10:09

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DogAnxiety · 25/09/2026 10:22

You find black young men wandering around intimidating? That’s a you problem.

IWishIWasASquirrel · 25/09/2026 10:25

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BlettingMyMedlars · 25/09/2026 10:26

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So you don’t know that the ‘young black men’ you see out and about are immigrants! It’s just their race that intimidates you? Wow.

SnowFrogJelly · 25/09/2026 10:28

I think we are just more aware of the dangers so this makes us extra cautious

SnowFrogJelly · 25/09/2026 10:29

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This sounds a little bit racist?

IWishIWasASquirrel · 25/09/2026 10:30

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Elbowpatch · 25/09/2026 10:31

I’ve also stopped using my phone when out walking about.

Probably a good idea.

Using your phone while walking about, I would have thought you were in more danger from walking into lamp posts or getting hit by traffic than random men.

Burningbud1981 · 25/09/2026 10:32

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You stated young black men are intimidating. You didn’t say young men but young black men. You clearly don’t have an issue with young white men hanging around the streets

IWishIWasASquirrel · 25/09/2026 10:33

SnowFrogJelly · 25/09/2026 10:29

This sounds a little bit racist?

Is it racist to object to the inflow of foreign young men who have arrived illegally. Don't speak our language and lets be honest are here for the benefits.
They are not war refugees.
Genuine refugees fleeing war and grateful to be somewhere safe I fully support.

If this makes me 'racist' then fine. You are entitled to your opinion. I'm not going to argue with you.

Burningbud1981 · 25/09/2026 10:34

IWishIWasASquirrel · 25/09/2026 10:33

Is it racist to object to the inflow of foreign young men who have arrived illegally. Don't speak our language and lets be honest are here for the benefits.
They are not war refugees.
Genuine refugees fleeing war and grateful to be somewhere safe I fully support.

If this makes me 'racist' then fine. You are entitled to your opinion. I'm not going to argue with you.

How do you know they are not war refugees? So war refugees come with a sticker on their head ?

BlettingMyMedlars · 25/09/2026 10:36

IWishIWasASquirrel · 25/09/2026 10:33

Is it racist to object to the inflow of foreign young men who have arrived illegally. Don't speak our language and lets be honest are here for the benefits.
They are not war refugees.
Genuine refugees fleeing war and grateful to be somewhere safe I fully support.

If this makes me 'racist' then fine. You are entitled to your opinion. I'm not going to argue with you.

But that you specifically said you didn’t know if the men were migrants. You seemed to find their blackness intimidating, not their origins, ability to speak English, legal status etc, about which you said you knew nothing, even if you’ve subsequently changed your tune.