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AIBU to think there may be dangers in this?

111 replies

allthingsinmoderation · 23/07/2026 18:25

To think there are dangers in this?
My son aged 20 yrs just asked my opinion and his sisters aged 23 yrs opinion of this issue, opinions appreciated.
My son is on an online dating app, he has recently come out of a long term relationship of 2 yrs and wanted more casual encounters . Hes honest about that.
He generally is attracted to slightly older women so didnt give a very young age bracket. He matched with a woman aged 42 yrs . They messaged a bit and seemed to get on ,then arranged to meet. She then said she was married and her husband agreed to an open marriage. Thats when things got a bit unusual. She said her husband had selected my sons profile for her and that she wanted to meet at her home for sex and it would be videod and later her husband would like to sit in and watch.
My son is not keen and wonders if there are dangers in this.
My DD says he should run for the hills as this video will end up on only fans or hell be blackmailed...
Is she right?

OP posts:
WhatAMarvelousTune · 23/07/2026 18:26

Wonders if there are dangers? Is he serious? Going to the house of a person he’s never met is a problem for a start tbh. And obviously he should not be filmed having sex with a stranger.

WhatFlavourIsIt · 23/07/2026 18:28

Seems totally normal. Can't see any problems with that at all! 🤔

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 23/07/2026 18:28

What have I just read. This is a joke right? Why are you and his sisters so invested in his sex life? And this whole situation has red flags all over.

MabelAnderson · 23/07/2026 18:28

He isn’t keen, your dd thinks this is bad, I don’t really understand what your question is ?
I mean, obviously this is a very, very bad idea. And creepy.

KilkennyCats · 23/07/2026 18:28

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allthingsinmoderation · 23/07/2026 18:28

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 23/07/2026 18:28

What have I just read. This is a joke right? Why are you and his sisters so invested in his sex life? And this whole situation has red flags all over.

He asked our opinion.

OP posts:
JustWhatWeDontNeed · 23/07/2026 18:29

I cannot imagine having this conversation with my mother 😂😂😂
Ever.

SmokyPotato · 23/07/2026 18:29

He most definitely should run for the hills. If this is a serious post

vodkaredbullgirl · 23/07/2026 18:29

JustWhatWeDontNeed · 23/07/2026 18:29

I cannot imagine having this conversation with my mother 😂😂😂
Ever.

Nor me 😆

Funchythesnowwoman · 23/07/2026 18:30

All very odd

allthingsinmoderation · 23/07/2026 18:30

Why do you think my DD who suggested he run for hills doesn't have a brain cell.
I ddin't give my opinion, but asked for the opinion of others, why do you think that mean i don't have brain cell?

OP posts:
Fidgety31 · 23/07/2026 18:30

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allthingsinmoderation · 23/07/2026 18:31

JustWhatWeDontNeed · 23/07/2026 18:29

I cannot imagine having this conversation with my mother 😂😂😂
Ever.

Well people are different and i respect you right not to discuss certain things with your mother or sister.

OP posts:
palorina · 23/07/2026 18:31

What could go wrong? They might all enjoy it, the only danger being the DH filming and posting it on t'web somewhere or sharing it amongst similar people.

KerryWeaversSpecs · 23/07/2026 18:32

Tbh I am surprised you even need to ask on MN.

allthingsinmoderation · 23/07/2026 18:32

vodkaredbullgirl · 23/07/2026 18:29

Nor me 😆

I respect your prerogative.

OP posts:
5128gap · 23/07/2026 18:32

Your son has asked your opinion on whether he should go and be filmed having sex with a married woman, even though he doesn't want to?
Haven't you told your son that he has bodily autonomy and never needs to consent to sex he doesn't want? Because I'd start there. Then he won't need to run it past you everytime.

NotMeAtAll · 23/07/2026 18:33

He will probably be blackmailed.

WhatYouWearing · 23/07/2026 18:34

I wouldn't care if my son was 20, I’d be forbidding him to go. What if they’re really twisted and want to make a s*uff movie? Fucking mental just considering it.

WhatYouWearing · 23/07/2026 18:34

He doesn’t even know them!

BillieWiper · 23/07/2026 18:34

If he's contemplating for someone he barely knows to film their sexual encounters then he must already know the dangers surely?

Sounds like dreadful idea. But it is up to him. She's been open about it so he can make his choice. I'd not encourage it obviously!

LilyMumsnet · 23/07/2026 18:34

Hi folks,

We've already deleted a couple of posts, so can we please keep things civil?

The OP is simply asking for opinions about a situation involving her son. It's fine to disagree or offer a different perspective, but there's no need for personal attacks or rudeness.

If you don't have anything constructive to add, please remember you can hide the thread and move on rather than posting.

Indianajet · 23/07/2026 18:36

Does he want to be a porn star?!
The fact he is even thinking about it astounds me!

purpleme12 · 23/07/2026 18:37

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Talltreesbythelake · 23/07/2026 18:39

LilyMumsnet · 23/07/2026 18:34

Hi folks,

We've already deleted a couple of posts, so can we please keep things civil?

The OP is simply asking for opinions about a situation involving her son. It's fine to disagree or offer a different perspective, but there's no need for personal attacks or rudeness.

If you don't have anything constructive to add, please remember you can hide the thread and move on rather than posting.

Simply requesting what now? Have you read the OP properly?