Is choosing not to have children really still seen as unusual?

I’m childfree by choice and it’s obviously not the norm. We are in the minority & should expect to be treated as such. I don’t have a problem with that and, anyway, who wants to be normal & follow the herd? I quite like being the odd one out.

YANBU it’s way more common these days, people should be used to it

I was almost childfree, I’m expecting quite a few in my family to end up childfree too, I don’t think it’s that unusual at all tbh. I’m surprised people were surprised. I had mine later though and people did assume we had fertility issues rather than that we weren’t actually trying.

I don't think it's that exactly, maybe more the Drs wanting to make sure all implications have been made clear, as it's more typical to want to have children than not? It must be very difficult dealing with loads of patients every day and trying to make sure they are all as informed as possible, and it is certainly more likely you would want children at some stage than not. I doubt there's any further thought behind it.

I changed jobs a year ago aged 48 and, honestly whether my colleagues are just more emotionally literate or just intelligent but they haven't batted an eyelid at me not wanting children.
Previously I've always felt like a specimen under a microscope.

I think it’s normal. I’m expecting 2 of my adult kids not to have kids, another is a maybe and the 4th wants kids.

I’m always impressed with those who know their mind. There are some huge advantages to being childless and I hope you get to enjoy them. Childless friends of my age - 60s have never expressed regret and are generally very sorted in life.

i only know one couple child free by choice. The others are all due to infertility.

getting more common, absolutely.
but not the norm.

I would guess that the dr has to check a number of times for liability purposes. 40 is now a very normal age to have a baby.

It's still unusual but becoming less so.
I think there are lots of younger women who don't plan to have children, many will eventually have them but the birth rate is definitely plummeting.
I was with DH 18 years and never thought I wanted children until I was nearly 40.
I do have several friends in their 60s and 70s who didn't have children because it didn't happen. They all wish it had been different. I don't know anyone childless by choice of that age.

It's important that it's spelled out by the HCPs in case there's any misunderstanding.

I think it is quite unusual, yes.

Im 53 and have never regretted not having kids. I knew by the time i was 21 that parenthood was not for me.

I am also long term happily married and child free by choice. I was recently told by my gynaecologist, (who knows I chose not to have dc) whilst undergoing investigative testing for some bleeding, that I am “still very fertile, so you’ve got time”. I’m 48!!! And I decided to be child free when I was about 5! He seemed surprised that I wasn’t delighted.

Me and husband have 5 siblings between us . 3 have not had children and my best friend hasn’t had children. All their own choices.

I have four kids, always wanted a large family which is also seen as "different ". I admire that you both know what you wanted and obviously took precautions to ensure that. I love kids of all ages but if you don't want them, fine your life to enjoy. 💕

I think it’s totally normal to not want children (I have 2). I think a lot of people are still quite shocked and can be quite rude about your decision not to have kids though. As if you’ll ruin your life without them! I suppose HCPs have to ask but being so blatantly shocked is a bit off. You are a grown adult!
my in-laws went on constantly after I got married about me not having children yet (i was 28)- they saw it as the done thing once you got married. They had to wait agonising for 7 years 🙄😆

In my experience very few HCPs are child free, esp consultants, so it may simply not be on their radar

When I was 11 my mother gave me a book on "the facts of life" and I decided I wanted no part in the whole nasty messy business. I have never been tempted to change my mind. I have no inclination whatsoever to cuddle or nurse babies and the noises they make irritate me. If I need something to cuddle I will get a cat.

In 2026 for a Gen Z not to have kids or want them, that’s totally standard/normal. Since you are 40, I think it’s less usual, but not particularly unusual. Sometimes people struggle to understand the choices and desires of others.

Birth rate has dropped significantly over last 15 years, so they probably shouldn’t be too surprised.

I don’t think anyone cares if you have kids or not

I know lots of people who are 30 ish who don’t plan on having kids, it isn’t unusual amongst that age group but I don’t really know anyone 40ish who doesn’t have kids and didn’t want them. A small sample size I admit. It would say it’s becoming less uncommon but still fairly uncommon for women your age?

Can I just point out that childless means either the time before people who wanted a child had one, or, people who want a child but cannot have one.

Very different meaning to those of us who are childfree, and my life is very much not 'less' for being childfree 😊

OP the birth rate is tanking, the staff just have to emphasise the effects of the operation.

I imagine that their response is because most people they see have or are wanting to have children. People child free by choice probably don't beat a path to their door as often.

The birth rate has dropped off a cliff. Women are waking up to the fact that it isn’t their sole purpose in life to push out kids, look after an adult male toddler, play house and work full time. From the outside looking in, who would want that for themselves nowadays? It’s exhausting and expensive. Women who are child free by choice have options and far more opportunities. I have two children by choice knowing what was to come and a wonderful DH. My sister doesn’t have any children by choice and didn’t want to get married either. She lives a lovely life travelling, fully invested in her work and has freedom of choice, her choices are hers and only hers to make. I admire it and love it for her. She does get the third degree off HCPs every time she goes to appointments. She’s actually told them countless times to note it down in her file because they make a huge fuss. Last time she had a gynae appointment she lied and said she was a lesbian just to swerve the conversation.