No room for sister's partner at our 20 person wedding

She’s going to have to come and get on with it without him unfortunately.

I wouldn’t change the venue, it’s too late (and I wouldn’t have spoken to them again to ask - poor advice because it was obviously a no from your first conversation).

CF advice - especially when they already gave you a great deal on the venue, just have to trust and stick by your earlier decisions.

Sneaking an extra person is going beyond CF to madness (I know you said you wouldn’t!). I can’t even think this wasn’t meant tongue in cheek!

Unless the wedding is a game of musical chairs.

Out of interest, who would you have knocked off the list if she had originally told you she did want him there before the save the dates went out?

I just nearly woke the baby up laughing

What about a nearby hotel? They can go to the wedding without staying at the venue can’t they?

You invited everyone a while back, it would be rude to uninvite someone.

I think you explain to her youre at max capacity and cant negotiate numbers as host has already said no due to insurance. If shes still huffy ask her what shes suggesting

Has anybody else noticed the "20 guests and 20 tables" I assume it must be a mistake. Unless they are going to sit the guests on their own at the tables. At the very least couples are going to be sat together so it should be 10 tables? I stopped reading at page 7 so apologies if someone bought this up after I stopped reading.

He's not invited fair enough, but you have to be prepared for a wedding of 19 and a lifetime of awkwardness.

I get you don't want to upset your friend that owns the venue - but ask yourself if this was your sister would you ask?

was a bit crazy to send save the dates out so far in advance.

Have you not even read the OP's posts? She did ask.

What does your fiancé's sister think you should do? Has she offered a solution?

I just can't understand why she is that bothered to be honest. It's cery clear that you haven't excluded him out of any form of malice or dislike. Presumably if anyone drops out for any reason, you will invite him....

Honestly, if she wants to take offence at this, there is nothing you can do about it, but she is being silly. You haven't done anything wrong.

Maybe take them out for a nice meal close to your wedding date? A good friend did this with me and my then husband when she was too tight on numbers to invite us to her actual wedding - it was a lovely gesture and we really appreciated it!

“I have anxiety” FFS! What did people do before this became an excuse for opting out of adulting?

I hadn't noticed her last post sorry! Rest of my post still stands!

She's being rude and unpleasant and will have to suck it up. You shouldn't give this nothingburger a moment's more headspace. The answer is no, and that's that.

Yeah so I think this is the main thing here. I had been thinking, you shouldn’t feel obligated to invite
someone that she has been seeing for only a short time, but she might feel a bit weird if she is the only singleton there. But if the arrangement had already been made for her to share a room with your friend, then she knows it isn’t as simple as just squeezing her partner in now.

I think she will resent you forever for this. And she might be spiteful enough to not invite you should she get married down the line. Saying that you did tell her that he wouldn't be invited so she's had plenty of notice.

It seems like you want drama. Call the venue, who you have a relationship with that is more important than your sister, and see if they have any ideas or suggestions. It may be that your sis and partner can be squeezed into the whole day but they stay at an Airbnb at their expense. Simple...no?

it’s quite irrelevant what his and his wife’s relationship is to the bride.
It's her H2B's best mate's wife, that OP has never met. I find that really weird.

Scrolling back, I notice that OP says of SIL's excluded bf "I'm sure he's a nice man". Which is code for 'here's another person who is important in H2B's life yet I don't know / don't care about their Significant Other'.

Are there any more?

Dont worry about it

she is young. They have been together under 2 years. Who says he will be in your lives long term?

she will have to suck it up

If you know them, surely they will understand and squeeze another in? Is this more about you having to pay? You've taken a very rigid approach here but this is a celebration and you have to be flexible to some extent. If you upset people, they'll never forget and be citing it in problem page replies down the line.

Similar happened to us. We could only have 20 for the day then when we changed rooms for the reception could have up to 100. We invited all close family and a close friend. One year later BIL asked if he could bring his new girlfriend to the day. They had only been dating a month and our numbers were at maximum capacity for the day time. There’s no way I’d uninvite someone close to allow a stranger to attend. I had to say no, sorry as the room is full. But she’s welcome to the reception party. By the way they broke up less than a month later and I’m so glad she wasn’t in any important photos!

But the groom’s sister DOES need her boyfriend there to hold her hand? Why?

That’s aside from the fact that uninviting the best man’s wife wouldn’t create the space for someone else to stay over - unless you want the sister’s boyfriend to top and tail with the best man. Or maybe the single friend who’s supposed to be sharing with the sister could bunk in with him instead?

The OP did ask the reply was no due to insurance. Having more people would mean that they fail the risk assessment.

but where would he sleep? The sil is sharing with the best friend

too complicated to add him at this stage

Exactly. Why is vital for the groom’s sister to have a plus one, but not the best man?

She was asked and said not to invite him, the wedding is now sorted. Honedtly if she puts a tantrum over not having her bf over her relationship with her brother, it's her loss not theirs.

I wouldn't mind if it was me, in the first couple of years of DH and I being together we went to weddings alone. I didn't really know the good friend's wedding he went to, so I wouldn't have felt right taking a space anyway.