Does mumsnet actually want to alienate core users? (Sex topic in active)

yeah, that was the reply I got from MN. So they were very fast in this instance, much much faster than usual, in fact.

That poster has a history dating back almost a year, so not a new user to be fair.

Even if you were able to fully hide it, that wouldn't make any difference to the fact that (obviously and inevitably) the pervert men who were drawn in by the Sex topic on a Parenting site have (shock horror) started to post all over the site, in all of the other topics too

tbh, i report threads that i come across that i find inappropriate. I don't know if MN see me as a serial reporter or just what i am, someone who doesn't want this all over the place.
Have reported the teen sex addiction thread. So we'll see.

But yes, i agree that is a problem. the 90 day membership rule was a good one.

No, this can't possibly be true! @SalviaOfficinalis is 100% sure it's a paedophile who came from the sex board! I'm sure they wouldn't be going round throwing out such serious accusations such as calling someone a paedophile without any proof.

That was started by a poster who has posted consistently about their DD since at least May last year.

And you have a list of all the paedophile users on MN do you? That's handy. Why not just report them all to the police?

It's not on the sex board correct so I'm not quite sure what your point is?

Even if you were able to fully hide it, that wouldn't make any difference to the fact that (obviously and inevitably) the pervert men who were drawn in by the Sex topic on a Parenting site have (shock horror) started to post all over the site, in all of the other topics too. (Obviously not the unsexy ones like SEN or Caring for Elderly Parents, what man would bother with that sort of thing?)

If I had been away and came back to the site without being able to see the Sex topic, it would be immediately obvious that the user base here has changed. Male voices are suddenly everywhere - patronising, bullying, mocking, dominant.

Just like everyfuckingwhere else.

Christ on a bike

TBH i think the Sex topic should stand and fall on its own merits. If you are in the topic and see unsuitable threads, report them. If they are deemed unsuitable they'll be zapped and if not you know to hide the topic. (If you hide it on your desktop i think that it's then hidden on your phone? Not helpful if you don't have a laptop)

I'm just peeved because i hid it. And i still saw some threads. So that means to me either there is a glitch in the software (do better, Mumsnet) or it's deliberate (urgh). I think it's reasonable that if MN want the sex topic to also show in active, that the users have to hide it, and if that means being logged in, that is the price to pay if you want to keep using the site. (moot, of course, since they still pop up sometimes even if the topic has been hidden)

I agree with this. I see it as a predominantly a site for women supporting women. And one of the few places where there are posters giving a decent feminist analysis in their responses.

There are an increasing number of men posting, clearly angry at women-supporting-women and not centering men in their replies.

I think the more Mumsnet loses that woman centredness the more it loses its distinctive vibe.

And here's some more info for you. Once you've read all of that thread, you'll have a better understanding of what is happening.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/site_stuff/4749810-references-to-underage-sex-on-sex-board?reply=124159806&utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

Here you go. This will bring you up to speed

www.mumsnet.com/talk/site_stuff/4749810-references-to-underage-sex-on-sex-board?page=1

Your analogy is completely about face. What MN have done is put the meat on display in the vegetarian shop.

I have to say I've noticed more men on the boards in general recently, and I wonder whether it's down to the increased use/decreased difficulty in accessing the sex board. I don't like it tbh - mumsnet is the one place where I'd generally assume someone is a woman until proven otherwise. I like having just one female space online. I'm increasingly finding myself thinking "oh I bet this poster is a man", where I'd previously have never considered it due to the more frequent amount of men I'm seeing.

I know there will be loads of people who think men have just as much right to be here "it's a parenting site", but come on - it's called mumsnet and the idea is (or at least was) quite clearly that it's a female space. I think it would be a shame to lose this.

Please stop it. Your constant comments about child molesting and paedophile are disgusting, absolutely inappropriate and nothing remotely representative of anything I have seen on that board.
You need a TW on your posts.

What MN have done is a bit more like opening up a sanctuary for prey animals and then inviting in a load of predators.

But yes. Wonderful that they are so tolerant of paedophiles and child molesters.

'Its more like if Tesco put all the meat in a separate room so as not offend the vegetarians. But then the vegetarians purposefully keep going into the serparate room and complaining about all the meat in there!'

This! And then started telling all the meat eaters they were disgusting. I doubt Tesco would be as tolerant as mn have been.

@GoAgainstNicki - what I am saying is that the sex topic being in active has a) led to more men posting and ones who are specifically looking to talk about sex with women and b) encouraging conversation about things like CSA to be discussed in a way that would be banned in a sex specific forum because they have much tighter moderation.

I don't think this is in women's best interests, particularly those of us who are CSA survivors.

There is nothing stupid about my point of view. Perhaps I didn't express myself clearly enough.

You are beginning to sound a bit stalkerish now.

None of us who brought the subject up with MNHQ actually want the sex topic removed from MN. We are not labelling the general users of the sex topic perverts or miscreants. I have visited the topic myself in the past but I had a look this week so that I could see for myself exactly what was on there. Previously it was mainly just threads asking for advice but what is on there now is different - people still asking for advice (and getting low traffic) but there is a dominating seedy element. My DC19 was very much of the opinion that there is nothing wrong with the sex topic threads appearing in active threads.....then they read some of the thread titles in active and had a look in the sex topic itself. They did a complete 180 and said "Mum this has no place in active threads where kids can see it".

What I and others find objectionable is that you can only hide the sex topic if you are logged in to MN. I'm on shared devices so I log in/out every time. Lily@mumsnet ALWAYS chipperly/breezily says 'if you don't want to see it then you can hide it' but fails to add that you MUST be logged into MN to get the benefit of hiding threads. At 6am yesterday morning I had a look at active threads to see what's going on while having my breakfast. I don't log in for that because I don't have the time as it's only 15 minutes but there were 4 sex topic listings in active. It was the same at lunchtime when I have my only break of the working day but I can't log in on my phone and it's pointless anyway as you can't block threads on your phone. It's been like this since MNHQ made the change. It makes my heart sink when I see them - one of them was asking for experiences of losing ones virginity and just seemed to be wank fodder. I don't want to see that shoved in my face ever - I find it triggering due to a history of abuse. Someone asked why threads aren't opt in rather than opt out but perhaps some should be.
MNHQ is refusing to give us answers to our perfectly valid questions and they're fobbing us off with mainly radio silence until lily@mumsnet appears with an occasional mealy mouthed 'we're looking into it' or the more suspect 'we're waiting to see how things settle' type of response.
So yes, MNHQ does appear to want to alienate a large number of users but just think of this MNHQ - last week there was a sex thread in active asking whether you like anal? That is what someone said to me before they did actually anally assault me. I can't unsee that and my reaction was fairly swift and damaging mentally but that's ok because it's all about including everyone isn't it MNHQ & lily@mumsnet????????

Are you being purposely obtuse?

I saw ONE thread where the OP asked people how old they were when they lost their virginity and what the location was. Some people voluntarily offered up information which stated that they had sex underage or with a man who was much older than them.

Because that thread was posted in the Sex topic and now appears in active, that means that I support grooming and CSA? That was ONE thread where some of those circumstances were mentioned. The Sex board has many, many other threads of things that aren’t anything like that.

The OP could have posted that thread in AIBU (for traffic) or Chat, would that mean that the readers support what’s being posted? No so stfu.

I can’t even go back and forth with you because you’re being purposely stupid to try and prove a point. MN have already told people to hide the topic and clearly won’t be taking it off of active anytime soon so there’s really no point talking to you.

As a victim of CSA, how dare you. Watch your words when you’re speaking to people, you don’t know my story

I 100% did not say that though did I 🤣

That comment was in reference to ONE particular poster.

A poster who has gone beyond having a different point of view and has been attacking the sex board and individual posters on there with vile trolling comments. That particular poster is disgusting regardless of their point of view.

I mean that's fine, but they don't actually get to put themselves above the law.