Disablism

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/primary/2759838-Are-the-quiet-bright-studious-children-destined-to-sit-with-the-disruptive-children-as-a-positive-influence-on-them

I guarantee that if I went into that thread and pointed out that perhaps the children can learn some tolerance and learn about the struggles that the "naughty" children that talk alot and sit at "that table" (as it was referred to by some) as they may have a disability..... I would be jumped all over, and the phrase "SN brigade" would likely be trotted out. That's the kind of atmosphere I see on MN now.

Not one person has disagreed with the OP. All those children should be kept away from the rest.

Maybe it's just me seeing it as depressing, as my child was one of those "talkative" children in school (but he was also at the top of the class, so go figure).

Can someone explain how i de-activate my account?

Bishop, because shouting and screaming gets us nowhere.

ITs not that we don't have a valid point, WE DO undeniably.

But when we go in, shouting screaming namecalling and throwing abuse all we achieve (here at least) is getting ourselves deleted and the other people feeling they've 'won' because we've been silenced.

Its the old 'you catch more flies with honey' thing.

We can make our point, firmly but politely.

I can't stand and screech at my sons Teachers when they fuck up, i just get chucked off the premises. Instead i have to advocate in an intelligent manner to get my point heard and understood.

This isn't our home, its MNHQ, and while we can fight and push to change things, it has to be done RIGHT, getting ourselves deleted and banned achieves nothing.

Has anyone contacted Justine? It needs to be a whole HQ approach, not just one mod at a time.

Because we are the minority. We don't have the physical majority so have to appeal to intellect.

Tis not right, or fair, but to quote my old dad 'who ever told you life was fair'.

We aren't sitting with a choice between where we think things should be and where we actually are. We just are where we are and can only move from this point.

Generally if a poster is making assumptions and stereotyping it's an ism.

And perpetuating stereotypes and encouraging stereotypes.

It is prejudice.

And ignorant

If you realised you've fallen into the trap it takes a lot of guts to say agh!

We all want to think of ouselvrs as fair minded as pag said and it's wince making to realise We've slipped up.

It's a mark of a perso s character of they are able to say sorry. I've reflected and taken additional advice and I made a mistake.

If you don't have that ability, you really have no business passing judgment.

why the hell are we expected to be so calm all the time?

We have no other uses than to be educators, that's why.

people don't seem to realise it's untrue and hurtful.

And we all know what happens if we apply the very same attitude to other matters don't we.

If everybody was like you it wouldn't matter and the education aspect MNHQ are going for woudl work, but other posters are not, they are goady fuckers that don't want to be educated and instead insist that they know it all and are right.

Unsuprisingly this also applys to quite a few at MNHQ too.

Nobody really minds posters like you elf, you genuinely want to be educated on the matters and accept that yes, you had it wrong.

Well idiots like me then have replied to that thread as it it's a step down from YOI. Hence the overwhelming negativity.

specifying behaviour as it's a symptom of a bigger issue? I
They are called behavioural difficulties because everyday behaviour is different to those of a similar age, for example with attention / concentration and impulse control. It doesn't actually mean naughty / violent and so on.

my friend just posted this on FB.

I have a new name for MNHQ "Status Quo Warriors"

“One of the great liabilities of history is that all too many people fail to remain awake through great periods of social change. Every society has its protectors of status quo and its fraternities of the indifferent who are notorious for sleeping through revolutions. Today, our very survival depends on our ability to stay awake, to adjust to new ideas, to remain vigilant and to face the challenge of change.”
― Martin Luther King Jr.

Shit. I posted on that thread.
I thought a support facility for behaviourally difficult teens was just that; and the OP is a single Mum overreaching herself financially as it is; hence the bulk of the replies I think.
Would a residential facility for teens with a disability which might include behavioural issues be described that way? I thought they were generally care homes/supported living but not specifying behaviour as it's a symptom of a bigger issue? I feel awful.

I agree pag.

Being the one to point out bullshit doesn't make you popular.

I'm supposed to be on holiday so I'm buggering off.

take care all.

Yep Owlady.

I agree with you pagwatch.
I am really uncomfortable with majority, mainstream groups telling minority, marginalised groups how to think, feel and behave too. It's an extension of the ignorance.

Fucking hell pag well said. The people on the other thread need to see that post IMO.

A very wise post, Pag. Spot on, Though I'm not sure about MMHQ. I think they vary widely, depending who's on shift. But you're absolutely right. People want to think they're not bigoted or discriminating, when they clearly are.

I think some posters need to get their heads around the fact that this is a societal issue.
The frustration and upset comes from the pointless hope that people will see the disablism when they are not directly affected - they won't.
And the fury, the hostility and the anger is because people don't like reflected back at them the idea that they have a basic prejudice - who wants to admit that?

Mnhq are sincere in their intent imho. I think they see themselves as incredibly supportive of people with disabilities. I think they want to do the right thing.
But banging up against that is the complacent selfishness of most people.

The 'home for challenging teenagers' is a case in point.
You could pick 100 people at random and most would say 'but the property will have no resale value if it's next to a home like that - it's reasonable not to buy on that basis alone'
But they forget that in the lifetime of many of us it was seen as perfectly valid to object to black or Irish people moving into a neighbourhood because it would damage the value of homes.
Was that valid and reasonable?

Of course people pointing out disablism isn't popular. Mn is packed with people who wouldn't want any kind of supported accommodation next to them but they don't want to be made to feel bad about admitting it.
They want to be able to see themselves as fair minded and open and supportive of minorities - right up to the point where it inconveniences or impacts them.

Maybe try seeing that those who howl the loudest might just be the ones privately uncomfortable that they are kidding themselves about being pragmatic when they are just being nimbys.