Linking Sensitive Threads to Social Networking Sites

Dittany, that thread was hilarious, you couldn't make it up. It was out there for tens of thousands of people to see...I put it out to possibly 290 extra people.

You only jumped into the thread in the first place because of your agenda, anything that mentions pornography and you're in like Flynn.

but WWIFN a thread is not necessarily sensitive purely because of where it is posted, hence why justine has made the comment that the sensitivity of a thread is personal to the indivisual(s) concerned.

Lots of people post sensitive threads in chat in order that they be able to disappear in a set amount of days (can't remember without going back to look how many days it is). The twitter buttons are on the chat threads, should users therefore post somewhere where there isn't a twitter button and where there might be a disclaimer even if they want the thread to disappear?

Equally lots of people do post in relationships about light-hearted things - which sex toy to buy, for instance, which might be amusing to some. Should a light-hearted thread not be allowed to be retweeted by virtue of the fact it is in a topic with a disclaimer?

And again, what do you want mn hq to do about it? And how do you expect them to be able too enforce any kind of policy you would propose?

Clearly mn are happy to be on twitter and facebook. ultimately it still comes down to individual preference - if you wouldn't be happy for your life to be exposed via social media, then it is down to each individual to decide whether their dilemma outweighs their need for privacy/sensitivity.

Plenty of sensitive threads kick off on the threads themselves, while tweeting about them does expand that potential, generally it only expands it to other mumsnetters who would probably have seen the threads in active convos anyway.

And a journalist is far more likely to find threads for their papers/discussion phone-ins on active convos than twitter, since twitter moves too fast and is too diverse..

Sorry, should add that a number of the posts on the other thread did become personal by way of the normal thread drift. But the OP of the thread and the initial discussions were not personal, raised important points about how people should manage the information that they share online and therefore sharing that thread wouldn't offend the MNs "don't share if it's very personal" guideline.

But there is nothing personal in the thread that Wannabe started. Or this one. So no reason not to share them with others.

This is a prime example of something that should be shared and brought to the attention of other mners as it is setting the future norms of the forum.

respect, obviously, not respact!

Once again, totally agree with WWIFN's summarising.

Justine, I'm not sure that your statement "The way communities like ours tend to impose etiquettes is by expressing disapproval of certain behaviours, which makes people less likely to behave that way. I believe that's kind of what's happened here." is actually true, although I, like lots of other posters would like it to be. In fact, it appears that 'expressing disapproval' in this case has actually led to some kind of mob mentality, to SS being hounded at times, and to no conclusion of what is or isn't acceptable in terms of respact or consideration to other posters, being reached.

Certainly it would appear that the related threads have been tweeted several times over by different posters, so no change in ettiquette or behaviour has been imposed.

Completely balanced and acceptable response.

I agree with Noddy that many posters, perhaps naively, see MN as different to other forums. And tbh if I was faced with the dilemma SS had, I would probably be miffed that it was tweeted - as the views of other parents on this matter are likely to be v different to a single, male tweeter, for example.

SS presumably posted to get other parent's perspective, not to hear what the whole Internet thinks about porn....

I haven't looked at the thread today but if it has indeed turned nasty why nor just ask for it to be deleted now?

Shall we take the cab to Reality Street here?

People:

THE INTERNET IS WRITTEN IN INK NOT PENCIL

If you post something it's in cyber space pretty much for good you CAN'T rub it out.

If you DON'T want to run the risk of being Tweeted FB'd MySpaced or linked via any website - it takes about as much time to set up a free website as it does to set up a free email address.

DON'T POST

As has been explained the removal of buttons won't help as you can c&p the link easily.

If you don't want people to know who you are don't visit websites the owners can see your IP address. Whois.net will tell them loads of information about you simply from an IP address.

Having a conversation online is no more private than having one in RL. You don't know who's reading/listening and if in 'private' you don't know if the person you are speaking to will repeat it and a search engine will pick it up.

What is, in essence, being asked is for MNHQ not only to police the net but, for them to police 'decency' or intent. I know they are good but sheesh!

KnowsThisWillFallOnDeafEarsTiggaxx

I'm not babyheave, but I@ll answer your questions.

I do think it is reasonable that it was Tweeted, since the buttons are not necessary for tweeting, if Aliouse ('scuse if I have the name wrong) hadn't said she'd done it you either wouldn't have known it happened or at least had no idea who it was.

I do think it is unreasonable to say 'vagina sewed up' as that's just mean. I don't like meanness. The troll part I have no opinion on as I haven't actually read the thread in question and therefore do not know if it had troll properties.

You, IMHO, do have some responsibility here as well. You need to be responsible for your own posts. If you don't want the world to read something? Don't post it anywhere on the internet. Simples.

This is nothing to do with privacy. Hopefully I disguised enough about myself/my family for it to be anonymous.

But I will ask you two questions, babyheave

Do you think it is reasonable that this thread was tweeted, given that MN deliberately does not include a twitter button on this sensitive thread topic?

Secondly, do you think it is reasonable that it has been tweeted in terms involving accusing me being a troll or having my vagina sewn up?

I'd just like you to answer those two questions.

I'm sorry, but if something is so private and so sensitive that you don't want it in the public domain then don't bloody well post it on the internet.

MN is not private. You can take away the buttons, you can ask people not to link or repost elsewhere, but its still on a public site and viewable by anyone who has an internet connection and the inclination to look, so what difference does it make? Seriously? If you really think it would make any difference to how public information is on this site, you need to go and have a word with yourself.

If you are embarassed by what someone has done with information you put out into the public domain then blame yourself for posting it.

with safe search on strict !!!

Crikey - thank god google safe search doesn't let me down very often

I just tried an it's not on the first ten pages. It's all sites like ass1st.com

that's true NoDiving - though why it's never intelligent when I'm searching for stuff on MN via google I don't know

Although I've just cleared my cookies (and cleared everything else out too - was due another clean up) and am in "private browsing" and it's still coming up first with safe search strict

Google is fairly intelligent though, and so if you regularly use mumsnet then mumsnet pages will come up high on on the searches.

Try googling it after removing cookies and in 'private browsing' and you will get very different results.

I do 't actually think there's much "ganging up". If it's a properly controversial thread with racism, attacks on SN, etc - then yes - there most of my FB friends and I would probably have the same opinion.

But I have been known to post links on my FB to find I'm arguing against some of my FB friends - so there's certainly no "ganging up" fro my end

I don't see it as ganging up per se. (even though I haven't tweeted threads).

But if you know someone off board, be that for email/msn/twitter/fb/even rl contact, there will come a point at which specific threads on mn would be discussed. I don't believe for a second, for instance, that none of you ever talk about threads on mn with your dh's? Not ever? Or other friends you know through mn?

As I said I don't tend to tweet about mn threads because a vast number of my followers aren't mn'ers, but it is logical that if most of your followers are mumsnetters then you would be more likely to tweet about threads on mumsnet.

And realistically mn hq cannot have an opinion or state a policy about this because this is public internet forum and you cannot police someone else's use of a public website that is not your own.

SS if you are a regular then you will know that it's not uncommon for out-of-the-ordinary threads to end up with the op being called a troll, be that publically on the site or elsewhere. It is a regular occurrence for people to ask others to email/pm them about suspicious threads. Or do people really believe that posters do not communicate outside of mn? Remember this is the site where posters will rush to the aid of a complete stranger they've never met. Why on earth would they not talk to people off board they've known online for a period of time?

Muminbeds, but do you not see that the reverse is equally true?

That if someone thought I was trolling or had had my vagina sewn up (direct quote btw) they should come and say so on the MN thread in question? Except of course that those sort of comments on that thread would have led to deletion.

Cowardice IMO. Bullying cowardice.