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Original poster

Does anyone else DREAD weekends

60 replies

WeekendDisliker · 18/04/2005 13:13

I am generally a happy-go-lucky person. I am 30 yrs old and a step mother to two girls (16+13) and dd (2yrs). My DH is 10 years older than me. I am starting to hate my life...

My saturday is spent - wake up feed dd, dress dd, dress me, go to shops, feed dd, put dd to sleep, cook lunch, clean house, do washing, cook dinner, bath dd, go to sleep.

Sunday - wake up feed dd, dress her & me, clean house, cook lunch, iron, cook dinner, bath dd, go to sleep.

Never enough money to go anywhere, DH never has enough iterest to take a drive/walk. Is this really what life is supposed to be about?????

OP posts:
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Original poster
WeekendDisliker · 18/04/2005 15:51

I have MotherInferior, this is an ongoing problem and I am trying desperatly to sort it out. Trying from all angles...

VERY observant

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motherinferior · 18/04/2005 14:06

WD, I think you may have posted before about your husband and housework. (If not, I apologise for thinking you were a not dissimilar poster.)

I can certainly find weekends a PITA occasionally, if we end up drooping knackeredly about the house with various domestic tasks hanging over us (there are black binliners full of DD1's castoffs waiting to be sorted for DD2 as I write!) but actually, these days, I rather like them. However, I would absolutely hate the sort of weekends you have described.

Like everyone else, I think you have to take action. He seems to think his behaviour is 'normal'. I'm quite sure it isn't, even in the Algarve.

Original poster
WeekendDisliker · 18/04/2005 14:02

Thanx Flashingnose, I will. Thanx to all of you for allowing me to see the obvious.

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flashingnose · 18/04/2005 13:57

Good luck - come back and let us know how you get on.

bakedpotato · 18/04/2005 13:55

rusty tin more like

Original poster
WeekendDisliker · 18/04/2005 13:55

You guys are right. Something has to be done. Now just to figure out what. Can't just walk away without giving it a shot.

OP posts:
cod · 18/04/2005 13:55

Message withdrawn

flashingnose · 18/04/2005 13:54

Stoppit

cod · 18/04/2005 13:53

Message withdrawn

flashingnose · 18/04/2005 13:53

True.

cod · 18/04/2005 13:52

Message withdrawn

WideWebWitch · 18/04/2005 13:52

I don't even think it's gilded tbh, I can't see any upside to this arrangement!

flashingnose · 18/04/2005 13:51

WeekendDisliker, please read your comments back and imagine it was your closest friend asking your advice. I think from where all of us are standing (or sitting), it really does sound like everyone else in your house is doing exactly what they want and you just have feed them and mop up after them. I'm sure your DH is utterly charming but he also sounds incredibly selfish and possessive - your life sounds like that of a songbird in a gilded cage .

Original poster
WeekendDisliker · 18/04/2005 13:49

That sounds like good advice wild. Maybe thats what I should do. Maybe if I leave he will miss me and ask me to go back on my terms.

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Original poster
WeekendDisliker · 18/04/2005 13:48

Dahlia, I have often wondered if i love him enough to just carry on like this - and I still am not sure of the answer. This would be my perfect life : DD and I go live in another house, DH and I "date" he pops in at night before going to his house etc. Some weekends he gets her and I have time to myself. Bonus point: no MIL with her own key to come tell me how she could keep her house spotless, food always hot on the table while raising to toddlers! Aaargg - she is a thorn in my side too.

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wild · 18/04/2005 13:46

well get the bike seat, and one sat am just say you are dd are coming too, slap some sunblock on dd and go
In your position I'd use the time between now and the time when you are financially free to go as a test period (without telling dh of course!)
If he responds positively, fine, if not you have nothing to lose by leaving!

Original poster
WeekendDisliker · 18/04/2005 13:43

I love him very much. After the next promotion I should be able to afford a place for us, but I dont want to lose him - I want to do things WITH him, and not in the house I HATE being in the house when the sun shines. It's depressing. Oh Cod, you make it sound so simple - SURELY there are many other woman out there living this life? We live in the algarve and their are no parks - picnic places to take dd too, only the beach but it's too hot there for her... I really need advice on "extra murial" activities. The other two kids do a bit around the house, but it always needs to be done properly when they are "finished"... On the times that i did complain cause they did not clean properly - my dh told me I am always bitching

OP posts:
compo · 18/04/2005 13:39

why don't you go swimming/yoga/night class anything of an evening?

Dahlia · 18/04/2005 13:38

Sorry crossed posts there. He sounds vile, sorry to be so blunt. I think you need to think very long and hard about the rest of your life! Do you really want to spend it with him? Do you?

cod · 18/04/2005 13:38

Message withdrawn

Fimbo · 18/04/2005 13:38

Could you afford a place of your own for you & dd?

oatcake · 18/04/2005 13:38

call his bluff!

flashingnose · 18/04/2005 13:37

Silly question but do you love him?

Dahlia · 18/04/2005 13:37

Would he listen if you sat him down and told him all this? You really need to sort this out, before you end up going mad.

Original poster
WeekendDisliker · 18/04/2005 13:36

He is not the type of guy you "stand up to". His opinion is that if i am so unhappy why dont I get out. EVERY night I wish I had somewhere to go - because believe me, I think i would have gone. He critisizes my job all the time (which I love and am doing well - 3 promotions in one year and getting another in a month or so). He throws his chocolate wrappers and stuff in my cupboard to throw away (he thinks that is very funny), and says my friends drink/party to much and are no good.

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