I'm so so sorry

essbee, so glad you're making progress. Regarding the collection, yes it does seem like a large amount, but remember you have loads of friends who all gave a small amount to help get you back on your feet

Huge hugs to you and there is no need for apologies.
You are very lucky that you have some wonderful friends close by.
Hope your world becomes brighter.

{{hugs}} essbee. I think you are incredibly brave to start to face up to all this. You have had so much on your plate. Pleased that your GP is being helpful and hope you continue to get more positive support and help.

Good luck with camhs tomorrow - is anyone able to go with you and can you write down your thoughts before you go so that you are not too stressed about remembering it all at the time.

Get that early night too ! Take care of yourself and the little ones .

LOL Soupy

Nooooooo, don't stop her saying sorry. I'm going to make a fortune out of the "sorry" box I made up for her. Costs her 50p every time she apologises. I'm well on the way to a holiday for me & DH in Mauritius with the proceeds.

Come on, apologise away dear...

Essbee, we don't want to hear you say sorry again, we are all just releived that Lou got to you in time.

Just remember when the going gets tough that we are here with you every step of the way.

Well done essbee for pulling yourself out of the quagmire inch by inch-keep going honey-you are setting a fantastic example to all who are reading this feeling despair/desperation/nothing and wanting that way out like you did.

Oh essbee Im so glad you have got the support from your GP. Your post cetainly sounds like you are feeling a little more positive. Have a good rest and take care.
JMxxxxxxxxxx

You're not home alone.

There are loads of us at the end of phone & keyboard here for you. You just have to ask

So glad you have been able to get some help at last and take some positive steps. [hugs]] to you Essbee XXX

you can see your children if they go into foster care, I just thought it might be safer. How do you know he wont hit them again? and didnt you tell SS last time about him? you dont want to make yourself look bad

I am glad you ahve been honest with your GP and she is being understanding. That must really help. Are you being reffered for counselling?

My Mum is a good example of how good counselling helps. She attempted suicide and received very good counselling and is a very very happy person now

I'm glad your GP listened to you.
Good luck with camhs tomorrow. I hope they finally give ds the help he needs. xx

Essbee - we just all wanted to help so much and with your troubles recently we all couldn't decide what would be best from house cleaning to child care to pampering you! I know we all hope it's a help to you, because we all think you are pretty great

congratulations on taking some very positive first steps. xxx

hi honey. You sound like you are doing all the right things. Don't try and do too much and use any help that is offered. Hope to see you very soon.

XX

Essbee, that's fantastic, what a lot you have achieved today.

(((hugs)))) essbee - glad things went ok at the GPs.

Essbee, I hope it went well at the GPs. Going to my GP and telling her exactly how I felt, what I had done/thought about doing to myself and ds and the baby in my belly was so so painful, but it was a complete turning point for me. Eventually I saw it all written down in a psych report, and that certainly shocked me into determination to feel better. I know what you mean about "craving it", there are times when it feels such a comforting thought, but hopefully those times will become less and less frequent. They are with me!

Thinking about you lots. xx

essbee, i know you are really ill and have been for some time and I am sorry about this. I am just a bit concerned that your son is with his Father who, in the past, has assaulted him. Would it not be better for him to go to emergency foster care? Have soial services not been in touch at all to give you some support?

Thinking of you essbee....hope the GP was able to offer you the advice and support to help you get through this.
take care.
JMxxx

Essbee - I think you are being very brave and strong facing up to how you are feeling and trying to do something about it. It is definitely not the 'easy' option. I hope you manage to tell your GP everything and that they are able to offer you appropriate help and support but I think you are in a good place recognising that you need to do it for yourself. I don't 'know' you but I have a lot of respect and admiration for how you are handling this. I wish you all the very best of everything. RD xxx

She is at the docs now. Fingers, toes, eyes and everything else crossed please you lot

I think if you know you cant trust yourself alone then it is paramount you take yourself back to hospital. It is not safe for your children either. Could you get help off social services with childcare until you are better. In my opinion it is not worth the risk yet of you trying to cope alone yet. Please tell the doctor everything, for you and your childrens safety.

es - well done you, as thre others have said, baby steps at fist, one hour at a time or not thinking about 'it' is definatly progress. I hope all goes well for you today at the doctors, remeber thou as much as u'll have bad times, u'll also have good times, when u feel a bad one coming on, sit down and think about all the good in your life - your children for one thing. we've all had depression so u're not alone with ur thinking. Allow urself to be supported by ppl in RL, and look to the confort of them helping you back on ur feet. also if u can ask the dr for a referal to a councillor - they're lovely, and they don't judge you. (((((hugs)))))) you're a braver person for coming back than one who didn't. so big hugs honney.