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Original poster

Could do with a hug

87 replies

Lonelymum · 12/02/2005 19:40

Dh is leaving tomorrow to start new job. Won't see him all week (and it is half term so I will have 4 kids to myself all week). So what has he spent all day doing? Sulking because I spent the morning helping out with PTA jumble sale and all afternoon until now he has watched rugby and football on the TV. I feel so sad and anxious, but he isn't caring. Don't get me wrong, he is a good man really and I am not attacking him, but he is giving me the TLC I need right now.

OP posts:
mummygow · 13/02/2005 08:42

Goodmorning Lonelymum I know today will be hard for you but try not to let him go with this tension between you - make him a cup of tea or coffee and take it up to him

Original poster
Lonelymum · 13/02/2005 08:30

Wish I had stayed up long enough to read these messages. Unfortunately, I went up to bed and dh didn't join me until goodnesss knows when (I was asleep). Now I am up with the kids (even though yesterday dh said he would get up today) and he is still in bed. We haven't spoken! I know you are right that he is under a lot of strain too at the moment, but don't underestimate my feelings either! Your messages made me cry.

OP posts:
mummygow · 12/02/2005 20:52

Lonelymum I read your thread the other day about your fear abouth the kids getting sick - dh may just have lots on his mind - obviously the new job - but he will miss you and the kids too and his home comforts and maybe he feels a sense of guilt leaving you knowing your fear, but maybe he is having a fight in his own head that he has to work to support his kids but he is very upset leaving you knowing how you feel. I do know how hard it can be to talk these things through - slip him a wee note telling him you love him and to meet you in bed (turn it into a laugh)

((((hug))))

LapsedGymJunkie · 12/02/2005 20:51

Sounds like he is less happy about the situation than you are. Give him his head, let him have the floor (so to speak)

God forbid you should end up in Misdee's situation, God forbid any of us would, but if you had to, you would cope. Do the big brave soldier and take your payback next week. Breakfast in bed, shopping even if it is only window shopping on your own for an hour or so next Saturday. Have been down this road before and he is worried/uptight despite what he says. Maybe he needs the TLC this time.

Aimsmum · 12/02/2005 20:47

Message withdrawn

SPARKLER1 · 12/02/2005 20:43

you asked for a hug so here you are

berolina · 12/02/2005 20:41

Am too tired to say anything intelligent or helpful Lonelymum but have a hug from me.

misdee · 12/02/2005 19:58

not pathetic, i found it very hard when dh was first in hospital, and felt very lost. just its been 3years now of getting used to it, and even now i feel lost at times.

Original poster
Lonelymum · 12/02/2005 19:51

Oh he knows I can't function without him. I hate one night away but FIVE! I have never done this before (must sound pathetic to you because I know your dh is in hospital, but this is how I am). I suppose he is a bit annoyed I am making so much of his absence. Afterall, he has a new job to worry about. But I am not good at being the solid rock at home that he can rely on and I do think, whatever his feelings, a little sympathy and cuddling on the night before he goes would be in order.

OP posts:
misdee · 12/02/2005 19:46

oh.

have you told him you'll miss him.

some men think we can function perfectly ok without them and wont miss them, others get annoyed if we cant. which is he?

Original poster
Lonelymum · 12/02/2005 19:42

He is not having any of it.

OP posts:
misdee · 12/02/2005 19:41

go and join him on the sofa for a cuddle.