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Mental health

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Original poster

Could do with a hug

87 replies

Lonelymum · 12/02/2005 19:40

Dh is leaving tomorrow to start new job. Won't see him all week (and it is half term so I will have 4 kids to myself all week). So what has he spent all day doing? Sulking because I spent the morning helping out with PTA jumble sale and all afternoon until now he has watched rugby and football on the TV. I feel so sad and anxious, but he isn't caring. Don't get me wrong, he is a good man really and I am not attacking him, but he is giving me the TLC I need right now.

OP posts:

almost40 · 15/02/2005 18:37

I just realized your thread is called 'feeling depressed'!!

oops · 15/02/2005 18:36

Message withdrawn

almost40 · 15/02/2005 18:36

You will lean heavily on your DH if you feel like he is the only one around who understands you. Maybe you will meet some other nice SAHM after you move? Maybe through your children's school? It sounds to me as though you are a bit depressed. Is there anyone you feel comfortable talking to - other than your DH? Family members?

Original poster

Lonelymum · 15/02/2005 18:28

Thanks. I really don't have that sort of relationship with people nearby. I don't know why not. We are moving next week and I must try my hardest to do things differently, but I feel cut off from society sometimes. I don't know how to go forward. I am not even sure our relationship is that great. I feel dh feels I lean on him too much and should get some life of my own.

OP posts:

almost40 · 15/02/2005 18:26

Sounds like you and your DH have a lovely relationship, LM. Are you friendly with any mums nearby? Even just one friend would make a big difference. At least just a few more days to go. ((big hugs)) Don't know what else to say.

Original poster

Lonelymum · 15/02/2005 18:21

Sorry, had to go and do dinner and ds2 is now saying he feels sick! My worst nightmare! No, I can honestly say there is nothing I enjoy when dh is away. When he is here, I don't have to fight him for the TV becasue we have a spare one in our bedroom and anyway,he doesn't watch much tv. I have time to do things during the day as I am a SAHM so I don't relish his absence as a chance to get on with things. I jus miss his presence dreadfully. He is my only regualr adult company and he is also a great help with the children. Most of all, he is my safety net against having to deal alone with my phobia (of the children being sick). I am bereft without him. I must sound like a very lonely soul. It is true.

OP posts:

almost40 · 15/02/2005 17:25

In reading over my post, I should mention that I have nearly 2 stone to lose since the birth of DD2. I constantly complain about my weight, but find it hard to diet since I feel like I am constantly preparing meals. Thus, when DH travels, it is easier for me to 'diet'. Anyway, are there things that you always like to do, but find that you can't do when your DH is around - for whatever reason. Hobbies? Tv programmes you like to watch, etc.?

almost40 · 15/02/2005 17:22

Hi - you have your hands full, LM. I can't imagine having 4 kids. Mine are 3 and 1. They are pretty easy. My DH does travel for one week or so nearly every month for work. This may sound strange to you, but I quite look forward to his trips because it is one less person to take care of, and it is a bit like a break for me, at least from cooking a proper meal, etc. I tend to skip meals when he is away, and I just focus on my girls. I do love him and enjoy when he's around. He can be helpful, but maybe I just choose to look at it as a break since there's nothing I can do to change the situation. Know what I mean? I also find that I enjoy my DDs company more when he is away, rather than viewing it as though I have to care for them on my own. I don't know if I'm making any sense.

Original poster

Lonelymum · 15/02/2005 17:14

I suppose a lot of us are like that. Me, I always think I wouldn't be on Mumsnet at all if I had a real social life. That plus my family would take up all my time.

You do seem to have your extended family around a lot. When you are going through the crisis that you are going through (and about to give birth again for goodness sake!) I don't think there is any such thing as relying on them too much. That is how families should be. I wish mine was as supportive and available.

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misdee · 15/02/2005 17:11

i said avoid it

but do you know soemthing,i have alot of family, but mo real friends anymore. i justdont have time to make friends in real life, and that makes me feel really sad. i dont have people just pop round for a cuppa. i the only one of m,y friends to have kids, and they just cant understand why i cant drop anything and go for a drink. its very hard. sometimes i feel like i rely on my family too much, or am constatntly caring for others.

Original poster

Lonelymum · 15/02/2005 17:06

That explains it Misdee. I am reading yur thread, but boy! it is too deep for me I am afraid! You are a superhero to go through what you are. I know you don't feel like one or want to be one, but circumstances have dictated that path for you. You are lucky to have so many friends on Mumsnet and family around you.

Almost40 - hello. Mine are 8, 7, nearly 5 and 2 on Saturday. All boys except for the nearly 5 yo. How old are yours? Is your dh away for work next week? Does he do it often?

OP posts:

misdee · 15/02/2005 17:03

mieow is my sister, am at her house.

almost40 · 15/02/2005 17:03

How old are your 4, Lonelymum? My DH is off next week too. I have only 2 dds, so it is not as difficult as you. I'm around to chat, if you're still up for it.

Original poster

Lonelymum · 15/02/2005 17:02

Wow how did that happen? Are you two people at once?

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Original poster

Lonelymum · 15/02/2005 17:02

Yours is such a pretty name, it is hard to associate it with bad times. Whereas mine just says it all right now....

OP posts:

misdee · 15/02/2005 17:01

oops, the pc went loopy, its misdee not mieow.

Original poster

Lonelymum · 15/02/2005 17:01

Which one is it SM?

OP posts:

sparklymieow · 15/02/2005 17:00

know waht u mean. sometimes u just need to read something happy and not sad. avoid my thread at all costs!!

Original poster

Lonelymum · 15/02/2005 16:58

I know there are worst case scenarios out there. I am truly sorry for them of course. I can't post on them as I feel so low myself. I keep posting on happy "I've just found out I'm pg" threads, trying to cheer myself up, but eventually I have to turn away from the computer and face reality and it scares me.
Thanks for taking time out of work to say hello though.

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LapsedGymJunkie · 15/02/2005 16:54

Sweetheart

I can't I am in work shouldn't even be on here, but hey I don't smoke.

Why don't you just surf around the acitve conversations and see if there is any one out there to chat to.

If it is any consolation Tammybears Dp or in this case P has just left her. Poor girl, at least you know where yours is and when he is coming back.

Original poster

Lonelymum · 15/02/2005 16:49

No. Know absolutely no-one around. Everyone seems to have gone away and I am not that friendly with people anyway. I don't know why I keep having the panic attacks. I have never known the days go so slowly.

OP posts:

misdee · 15/02/2005 16:48

its only 3 days and night. best thing is to keep as busy as possible. can anyone watch the kids for abit to give you a break, so u can pamper yourself?

Original poster

Lonelymum · 15/02/2005 16:44

Just panicking and sooooo lonely. Don't know how to get through the next three days and nights.

OP posts:

misdee · 15/02/2005 16:42

whats wrong?

Original poster

Lonelymum · 15/02/2005 16:41

Somebody please talk to me for a bit!

OP posts:

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