Hi,
I’m completely new to mumsnet, but just feel like I need some advice and I need to know there are others who can say they sometimes feel the same way I do, without judgement please.
I am in my mid 30’s and have 2 sons, age 14 & 10, I split from my children’s father around 10 years ago and he has only ever seen the kids every other weekend. But I have been in a relationship for the last 6 years to the kindest most supportive partner I could ask for. From the outside I have a nice life, modest and nothing fancy but nice in the sense that I have a lot of support from family and am lucky enough to only work part time 4 half days a week.
But the thing is for the longest time I have felt so overwhelmed and trapped by everything, I genuinely can’t remember a time when I was excited about life or looked forward to the future. I often fantasise about getting in the car, driving away from everything and not coming back. I don’t feel like I want to hurt myself at all, just that I want to escape my life and the responsibility of everything.
I love my children and partner, and feel like I have no right to feel the way I do when actually I do probably get more free time than most other mums, and have a partner who is very domesticated and involved. So really my life is okay compared to so many other people’s, which only makes me feel guilty on top everything else.
Please tell me there are other mums who feel this way too and I’m not on my own.
Sorry for the long post, and if you’ve made it this far thank you for taking the time read.