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How can I support my sister without harming my own mental health?

2 replies

Lindylu74 · Yesterday 15:08

My sister has had periods of depression for many years on and off. I struggle with anxiety in the same way and we have supported each other through. My sister’s recent depression has lasted some time now - nearly a year- and is worse than it’s ever been.

It was so bad at the beginning of the year that she’s had the crisis team involved and she’s now under the care of an NHS psychiatrist and is being seen regularly and having counselling. However she doesn’t seem to be improving. She’s on medication but she’s been diagnosed with difficult to treat depression.

Earlier this year, I found the stress of worrying about her, doing a stressful full time job, and some other things going on in my life led to me experiencing bad anxiety for a few months and taking some time off work. I’ve worked hard to make my life simpler and calmer, and am now back at work and doing ok, with a better work life balance.

My sister is still feeling very depressed and regularly calls me to cry down the phone. I spend quite a bit of my free time supporting her and trying to help her through but I find it very draining. My counsellor told me I need to set boundaries but how do I do that when I worry if I’m not there for her or I don’t answer her call she might kill herself. She says things like I feel like walking into the sea or I don’t want to go on.

i love her very much but it’s really taking a toll on my mental health and I would appreciate any advice on how to navigate this.

OP posts:
Nearly50omg · Yesterday 19:18

You need to prioritise yourself and step back from your sister. You need to be very honest with her that her constant ringing and crying down the phone and using you as a pseudo counsellor is not doing either of you any good and you need to stop answering calls to her and stop her if she does call and start and say I have to stop you now sis I am not getting into this as I already said.

she has a mental health team!! She is using you and actually by being as negative as she is with you then she will NEVER get better unless she actually makes an effort with this therapy!!

Nousernameideaaga · Yesterday 19:22

Horrible situation for both of you OP 😢

Her depression can’t be cured by phone calls to you though

Put your own oxygen mask on first

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