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Original poster

Threw it all away

37 replies

LastSatsuma · 14/07/2026 21:04

Has anyone ever been this stupid?
Or know what I should do?

I was hearing such awful voices this morning, they told me that my medication was poisoning me, a conspiracy to make me quiet and not speak out about bad things that have happened to me. So I threw it all away. In the bin on the street.

Now I'm not sure if I should tell anyone, I don't know if I will be in trouble. I'm confused about if I should have it or not, whether I really am being poisoned. There's lots of different tablets I normally have, if I asked the doctor for new ones I would be too embarrassed and it is bad that I am wasting their money. The voices now say I am going to be making everyone cross and think I am very bad, so I mustn't tell anyone. I'm asking here because I haven't got to speak out loud so they can't stop me.

I apologise if no one knows or has done this. It's not normal I know.

OP posts:
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PissedOffAutistic · 16/07/2026 13:25

Well done OP, you did great! You sound like such a lovely and brave person! I hope you can get some good sleep soon.

BusterGonad · 16/07/2026 09:10

I'm so pleased Op. You did a, brave thing and were looked after. I hope you are asleep and resting well

Tummygrumbling · 15/07/2026 23:50

Thanks for the update OP. You have done so well to sort everything out today. Hope you can get some rest now xx

Original poster
LastSatsuma · 15/07/2026 23:27

Thank you again to the people writing nice things to me. I am not used to anyone saying things like that, so it feels a bit weird. I have been sat in my garden in the dark for about an hour. It's finally quite a comfortable temperature. I have been struggling with the heat a lot. It makes me feel sick, tired and have headaches. The cool garden felt peaceful and calm.

I forgot but tomorrow I have to go to the hospital. It's for blood tests and an ECG. Apparently the psychiatrist asked for it because I have high prolactin in my blood. I'm not sure what will happen.

My child is almost settled down, so I can get to bed soon. Desperate for sleep.

I hope you all have good sleeps and a good day tomorrow.

OP posts:
shellyleppard · 15/07/2026 22:30

@LastSatsuma so glad you got your medication sorted. Well done lovely, it must have been so hard for you.
Sending the biggest of hugs 🤗 💐🙏💜

parietal · 15/07/2026 22:28

Well done. I’m so glad we were able to help. Do enjoy your simple supper and get some sleep.

idkbroidk · 15/07/2026 21:46

LastSatsuma · 15/07/2026 21:19

Little update- I followed the suggestions several of you made, and wrote some of what I put on here to the GP. I did their form at 8am when they first become available. I asked to only talk to a female doctor, and did write why I didn't have my medications. A really kind doctor rang me back at about 9.30 this morning and, just like you said, wasn't angry at me or judgemental. I was honest to her. She did me a whole new prescription for all the medicines and I was able to get it at lunchtime. She helped me and then my care coordinator from the CMHT rang me in the afternoon as well.

So I now have plenty of medication again, apart from one that the pharmacy has to order, but it should be there by tomorrow. Everyone has been kind to me, even though I don't feel they should. I was quite scared at the pharmacy as the voices were very loud, cruel and pressuring.

I got less than an hour of sleep last night so I'm very very tired and have a headache. We had super easy supper of boiled eggs. Yogurt and watermelon for pudding. Hopefully I can go to bed soon, when my boy is settled.

To the Mumsnet person, I know I mustn't rely on help from other users and I have to get support in real life. It isn't always easy to ask for it when you aren't well. I hope I didn't offend anyone or be a bother.

so proud of you!!! very glad you were able to get all your medications again and that everyone was so kind and helpful :) never be afraid to ask for help ever!

Original poster
LastSatsuma · 15/07/2026 21:19

Little update- I followed the suggestions several of you made, and wrote some of what I put on here to the GP. I did their form at 8am when they first become available. I asked to only talk to a female doctor, and did write why I didn't have my medications. A really kind doctor rang me back at about 9.30 this morning and, just like you said, wasn't angry at me or judgemental. I was honest to her. She did me a whole new prescription for all the medicines and I was able to get it at lunchtime. She helped me and then my care coordinator from the CMHT rang me in the afternoon as well.

So I now have plenty of medication again, apart from one that the pharmacy has to order, but it should be there by tomorrow. Everyone has been kind to me, even though I don't feel they should. I was quite scared at the pharmacy as the voices were very loud, cruel and pressuring.

I got less than an hour of sleep last night so I'm very very tired and have a headache. We had super easy supper of boiled eggs. Yogurt and watermelon for pudding. Hopefully I can go to bed soon, when my boy is settled.

To the Mumsnet person, I know I mustn't rely on help from other users and I have to get support in real life. It isn't always easy to ask for it when you aren't well. I hope I didn't offend anyone or be a bother.

OP posts:
MNHQ
LilyMumsnet · 15/07/2026 10:51

Hi OP

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged to us we like to link to our web-guides, which we hope may be helpful.

Whilst support from other Mumsnet user's can be really helpful, it's in no way a replacement for real life help and support - so please do take a look at our mental health webguide. It contains lots of resources for support and advice in real life.

Very best wishes from all at MNHQ Flowers

Bigbus · 15/07/2026 01:10

Please don’t think anyone will be angry with you. I’m a mental health professional and we would much rather give you more medication than risk a full
blown crisis. Please contact 111/your team/your GP
tomorrow. Dont just tell them you threw your meds away, also tell them about the voices and how you are feeling. If you feel unsafe and can’t get hold
of anyone, go to A&E - don’t worry about admission, it’s always a last resort if it’s the only way to keep people safe and there are lots pf options for help in the community, like home treatment and crisis teams. Best wishes OP, I hope you get better soon. Remember you deserve as much care as anyone else. Treat yourself as kindly as you would someone else who is struggling.

PatchworkCow · 15/07/2026 01:09

I already have pain inside my chest and tummy so that's probably because I did talk about the bad things happening.

It's not that. It's because you usually take omeprazole which is a proton pump inhibitor, to reduce stomach acid. You've got heartburn. Feeling stressed out won't be helping the condition. I believe you may be able to purchase it over the counter at a pharmacy. So that's one thing you could easily sort tomorrow yourself.

Not the same situation, but I once accidentally threw away steroid tablets which I'd been prescribed for an allergic reaction. I'd been cleaning up and decluttering the day before. I couldn't find them anywhere, turned the whole house upside down looking for them in the morning. Couldn't check the bin because it was bin day and had been emptied, but I figured that's where they must have gone by mistake, since they were nowhere else. So I had to get an emergency appointment with the GP that day. I didn't get in trouble and steroids are something some people abuse, so wanting a duplicate prescription did raise an eyebrow but the GP just told me to be more careful and wrote me a new prescription. I don't think any of your meds are anything people abuse, so there's even less chance of anyone thinking you're looking for extras.

You should tell the GP first thing in the morning. And tell them the truth that you threw them away because of voices, that part is important information for them to be able to help you. You don't need to remember the dose, it'll be in your records so the GP will know. The psychologist on Monday can't prescribe, only psychiatrist or GP can, so no point you waiting to speak to him.

Willweeverfindout · 15/07/2026 01:04

It’s fine! It happens. Just call your dr or the crisis team and let them know. It happens all the time. Xx

Tummygrumbling · 15/07/2026 00:45

LastSatsuma · 15/07/2026 00:14

I want to say thank you to each of you for being kind and giving me advice. You didn't need to and it has been a comfort. I don't think I'll sleep but I am going to listen to an audio book and try to rest. The audiobook helps muffle some of the voice noise.

Try to get some rest and come back to post again in the morning if it helps. There are lots of kind people on this forum who have experience of MH issues themselves and are happy to offer help and support 💐

LowAnthem · 15/07/2026 00:18

LastSatsuma · 15/07/2026 00:14

I want to say thank you to each of you for being kind and giving me advice. You didn't need to and it has been a comfort. I don't think I'll sleep but I am going to listen to an audio book and try to rest. The audiobook helps muffle some of the voice noise.

That’s a good idea, lying down and listening to something calming. I hope you can get some rest 🌺

Original poster
LastSatsuma · 15/07/2026 00:14

I want to say thank you to each of you for being kind and giving me advice. You didn't need to and it has been a comfort. I don't think I'll sleep but I am going to listen to an audio book and try to rest. The audiobook helps muffle some of the voice noise.

OP posts:
LowAnthem · 15/07/2026 00:08

LastSatsuma · 14/07/2026 23:37

I've just got my son who has special needs so no help to me. He is 17 but not like most teenagers because of his autism and other things.
i know some of the names of the medicines but not the numbers. Risperidone aripiprazole sertraline omeprazole prazosin propranolol diclofenac zomorph I think that's it. Such a silly waste, I don't think they will give me new ones there's too many. I already have pain inside my chest and tummy so that's probably because I did talk about the bad things happening. It's my fault and probably a fair punishment, I wish I could rewind the time and not tell the psychologist about the things I did say even though it wasn't all of it.

Did the poison get in then or by speaking or by sneaking it in the tablets? I don't know and my brain can't make sense of things.

sorry for speaking too much.

Most of these medications won’t cause horrible withdrawal symptoms except Zomorph and sertraline. It depends on how long you have been taking them.

Here is a link for you:

https://www.hearing-voices.org/#content

You can call 111 tonight or in the morning. You won’t be in any trouble for throwing your medication away.

National Hearing Voices Network – For people who hear voices, see visions or have other unusual perceptions

https://www.hearing-voices.org/#content

Spidey66 · 15/07/2026 00:04

Please tell someone
You won't be judged but will be helped. Try111 option 2 or a&e.

Wishitsnows · 15/07/2026 00:02

Call the 34 hour crisis team. Nobody will care that you binned the meds. They cost pennies. You are worth more. The meds will help you, they are not poison. Of course you can ask for a female GP. You do not need your see a man. I hope the noise in your head can be calmed.

Mancity08 · 14/07/2026 23:54

You will definitely need your medication, you will get horrible withdrawal symptoms.

you fill in the form to the doctors tomorrow and write it as you have told us in here
The voices in your head told you to throw all your medications away and you have thrown them in the bin and can not get them back

The doctor will organise something for you

Original poster
LastSatsuma · 14/07/2026 23:37

I've just got my son who has special needs so no help to me. He is 17 but not like most teenagers because of his autism and other things.
i know some of the names of the medicines but not the numbers. Risperidone aripiprazole sertraline omeprazole prazosin propranolol diclofenac zomorph I think that's it. Such a silly waste, I don't think they will give me new ones there's too many. I already have pain inside my chest and tummy so that's probably because I did talk about the bad things happening. It's my fault and probably a fair punishment, I wish I could rewind the time and not tell the psychologist about the things I did say even though it wasn't all of it.

Did the poison get in then or by speaking or by sneaking it in the tablets? I don't know and my brain can't make sense of things.

sorry for speaking too much.

OP posts:
Growingaseed · 14/07/2026 23:24

OP you can absolutely request a female doctor. Add that to the request when you send it so they know for a female to call you.

Do you know the name of the medication? I assume that it's all been chucked and you don't have more?

Tummygrumbling · 14/07/2026 23:24

Do you have anyone at home with you at the moment who can help you sort it out?

Tummygrumbling · 14/07/2026 23:20

LastSatsuma · 14/07/2026 23:14

I could try writing it down but that would mean I have to get to see someone. I don't live near anything medical.
the doctor is 10 miles and the pharmacy. The hospital is 20 miles. If I write on the doctors' internet thing in the morning maybe I could ask a doctor if I should have new tablets
or not. But I only want to talk to a woman, I wish I still had my nice doctor.
She was kind but they told me she was too busy to have so many ill people so I have to have a different one. They are a man and I have never spoke to them before. The voices are so angry that I started to talk about when people hurt me, in the psychology appointments. It was men that did bad things but I am the poisoned one now.
I don't think I will get much sleep. My head hurts. Thanks for the advice and kindness.

i don't want to go back to hospital like someone said. Not been there for a long time. I'm sorry you were ill. Did your tablets poison you?

My tablets didn’t poison me, it was just my mind telling me things that were not true because I was unwell. Your tablets will not poison you either OP and you will see that when you are feeling better. Please make sure you contact 111 now and they will sort out how to get your replacement tablets. If you explain everything to them, they will be able to help you.

Original poster
LastSatsuma · 14/07/2026 23:14

I could try writing it down but that would mean I have to get to see someone. I don't live near anything medical.
the doctor is 10 miles and the pharmacy. The hospital is 20 miles. If I write on the doctors' internet thing in the morning maybe I could ask a doctor if I should have new tablets
or not. But I only want to talk to a woman, I wish I still had my nice doctor.
She was kind but they told me she was too busy to have so many ill people so I have to have a different one. They are a man and I have never spoke to them before. The voices are so angry that I started to talk about when people hurt me, in the psychology appointments. It was men that did bad things but I am the poisoned one now.
I don't think I will get much sleep. My head hurts. Thanks for the advice and kindness.

i don't want to go back to hospital like someone said. Not been there for a long time. I'm sorry you were ill. Did your tablets poison you?

OP posts:
sesquipedalian · 14/07/2026 21:56

OP, phone 111 now. They won’t be judgmental, and they will help you, or tell you what to do. Please, don’t leave things until next week. You need to get help and new medication as soon as possible.