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Original poster

Husband has had enough of me

30 replies

ThisSillySquid · 06/07/2026 10:38

My mum passed away in March and my kids are growing up. I can't stop crying. My husband says he has had enough of my crying. My mum told me I was selfish and cold-hearted. I lost my patience with my daughter yesterday and snapped at her. I am a burden to everyone. everything seems so pointless.

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Sparrowsandbudgies · 06/07/2026 11:30

If your Mum told you that you were selfish she doesn’t sound very nice to be honest. (I know that may be difficult to hear, I am saying that with some empathy because my own Mum was very difficult and died of bowel cancer in 2019 and I had very complex feelings around her death). It sounds like you’ve been surrounded by people who don’t have your best interests at heart. It’s okay to snap sometimes, we’re all only human. Be kind to yourself. Think about what is going to make your life better, no one else’s, just yours.

MNHQ
HebeMumsnet · 06/07/2026 11:24

Hi there @ThisSillySquid. We're so sorry to hear about your mum and that things are so hard for you at the moment. We hope you're able to seek some help and support in real life as well as here. Your GP might well be able to help, as others have suggested.

In the meantime, we just wanted to post a link to our Mental Health Webguide which has lots of contact details that might be of use. And of course The Samaritans is always there to listen, too. Please do pop back and let us know how you are. Flowers

Minasama · 06/07/2026 11:23

I’m so sorry for your loss OP, nothing is harder than this deep grief.

Your husband and children need you, of course they do, but it’s hard to cope with raw grief on an ongoing basis.

Can you get some bereavement counselling from Cruse?

Inmyuggs · 06/07/2026 11:17

What is the dose of the anti depressants because yes they may need adjusted?
Have you been assessesd on how they are going?
.All mums snap
All mums have moments.
Grieving is a natural process.
The husbands comments need to be halted.
Can or do one of you need slme space or a chance to get away for a break?
Is there a friend to go and visit or something you can do or use to help you relax, take a moment in a day to find a vice?
Stop obsorbing every comment your partner flies off with and remember to expand your circle when life is tough.
If you feel isolated and alone and need a friend...ring someone or a help line?
I talked to eap today...wow what a relief a neutral person telling me what i can not hear from people close to me and mayne shows you of you feel alone really you are not.
Kids and husbands can be utterly selfish no matter what level, age or spectrum they are on.
Today try and think about talking to your gp about the crying... not comments flying out of that mans mouth.
He can zip it unless its positive.
Life is happening and perhaps he has forgotten to appreciate you are greiving & spunding to me very low.
♡ Go call a support service or family or friend ♡
No shame in asking or needing to talk, vent or asking for help.

IdentifyingAsAWoollyMammoth · 06/07/2026 11:16

Larrythecatforpm · 06/07/2026 10:42

Your husband is a fucking arse. You are grieving love, and grief is very difficult.
Have you spoken to your GP and seen what they can offer? Councelising might help. X

Just as an aside, the OPs husband has Asperger's or is, like their daughter, autistic, so I think perhaps it may not be quite so black and white.

OP, I strongly urge you to contact your GP and ask for an emergency appointment as you are severely depressed

Original poster
ThisSillySquid · 06/07/2026 11:11

My son will be going to work soon. I will be on my own in the house

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Original poster
ThisSillySquid · 06/07/2026 11:10

Kids are hiding because they have had enough of me. They can't cope with me. My mood swings are obviously too much.

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P00hsticks · 06/07/2026 11:09

I'm so sorry you are feeling like this.
Please call or have an online chat with someone to help you through this,
Helpline - Cruse Bereavement Support
Contact Us | Samaritans

Larrythecatforpm · 06/07/2026 11:07

ThisSillySquid · 06/07/2026 10:59

Better off all round if I'm not here anymore then no one will have to put up with me

Op please ring your GP now and explain to them how you feel. I feel you may need to see the crisis team, if you’re not feeling safe please go to a&e.

ALovelyPinkUnicorn · 06/07/2026 11:06

ThisSillySquid · 06/07/2026 10:48

I snapped at my daughter yesterday and feel like the worlds worse mum. He just made the whole situation worse. He says he can't cope with my mood swings

You definitely need to speak to your GP again, what do your mood swings look like? Why are the dc hiding?

Original poster
ThisSillySquid · 06/07/2026 10:59

My kids don't need me anymore

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Original poster
ThisSillySquid · 06/07/2026 10:59

Better off all round if I'm not here anymore then no one will have to put up with me

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Original poster
ThisSillySquid · 06/07/2026 10:58

Mum said i was selfish, he has had enough of me and my kids hide from me

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Original poster
ThisSillySquid · 06/07/2026 10:57

I love my kids so much it hurts, i would do anything for them. I have kept in this shitshow of a marriage for the sake of the kids. I want my mum so much. He keeps saying he can't cope with my mood swings so i hide myself away.

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Original poster
ThisSillySquid · 06/07/2026 10:54

I've apologised to my daughter but she is 24 and autistic so not sure she understands.

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WinterBlues26 · 06/07/2026 10:53

ThisSillySquid · 06/07/2026 10:47

I'm already on antidepressants

Go back to your GP, they might need tweaking or even changing to something else.

Look up grief counselling in your area, or ask your GP to signpost you.

I'm sorry for your loss but doing nothing is not an option anymore. You need to seek professional help Flowers

thejelliclecats · 06/07/2026 10:53

Please go and see your GP - you could need a stronger dose of medication or a different one altogether. I’m so sorry about your mum Flowers

Original poster
ThisSillySquid · 06/07/2026 10:53

I want my mum back

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Original poster
ThisSillySquid · 06/07/2026 10:53

I don't want to be here anymore

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Original poster
ThisSillySquid · 06/07/2026 10:52

He keeps saying that he can't cope with me so i hid upstairs and cried. He snapped at me yesterday saying he can't say anything right. I'm such a burden to everyone

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PinkHairbrushClub · 06/07/2026 10:50

You are deep in grief. I’m so sorry that your husband is so intolerant and lacking in compassion.

Apologise to your daughter in whatever way is age appropriate and explain. Hug her.

please make sure to take care of yourself.

Larrythecatforpm · 06/07/2026 10:50

ThisSillySquid · 06/07/2026 10:48

I snapped at my daughter yesterday and feel like the worlds worse mum. He just made the whole situation worse. He says he can't cope with my mood swings

What did you snap at her about? i’m sure it’s not that bad op.

Original poster
ThisSillySquid · 06/07/2026 10:49

I want my mum back. The pain is unbearable

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Original poster
ThisSillySquid · 06/07/2026 10:48

I snapped at my daughter yesterday and feel like the worlds worse mum. He just made the whole situation worse. He says he can't cope with my mood swings

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Original poster
ThisSillySquid · 06/07/2026 10:47

I'm already on antidepressants

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