Think I'm going psychotic again

Have you been completely open and honest with the psychologist OP?

Have you made sure you’re receiving benefits you’re entitled to? Your DH remains supportive throughout?

It is an absolutely briefly day. You will feel better when you pop out. Why don’t you take children to school and then go to a cafe and get a nice drink and a pastry and watch the world go by

Are you managing to go to work? Take the kids etc to school? Cook?

Just sending you kind thoughts and supportive vibes

Is your dh around to put the kids to bed whilst you stay in your room?

I hope the group is good for you today. It’s great you did the roast and the thoughts aren’t as distressing.

Op, I work with people with psychosis, and have worked in the EIP before. Your insight and understanding of everything is so valuable, even though things feel scary now, you’re recognising things don’t feel like they should. So many people don’t have that understanding.

Keep having naps and prioritising sleep. Make sure you eat and gently listen to what your body needs.

You’re going through trauma therapy at the moment and like you’ve said it can be really triggering. Your brain is trying to protect you (albeit it in a fucked up way). Please mention this to your psychologist when you see her on Wednesday, she’ll know exactly what to do to keep you safe.

Keep speaking to the crisis team and your DH. Do you feel anxious or spaced out? If you’re anxious it might be worth asking for some PRN. If you’re feeling spaced out try little things that ground you in the here and now - even things like taking a long shower, stepping outside and looking at the birds. It doesn’t feel real at the moment because you’re feeling so poorly, it’s a very tired mind. The divers reflex can really help too. Try and repeat this phrase as often as you can - “This feeling has come and gone before”

You’re a very strong lady, please, please keep reaching out to crisis teams and CPN. They’re there for exactly that. I’ve never ever not wanted to help a person with their distress and everyone I’ve worked with wanted to help the people we worked with.

Look after yourself, you will get through this

Dear OP, have you ever heard of Capgras syndrome? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capgras_delusion
it is a condition where you feel like your loved ones have been replaced by imposters.
It sounds like you may be suffering from this. I mention it because it may help to know that you are not alone, and there is an explanation for why you feel like this.

Oh OP you’re doing so well. You may not feel like that but you really are. I hope the roast was nice. Do take time for you too.

It will pass op, take the support from your dh and ride it out. One hour at a time, one day to the next. You’re going to be okay again.
you can keep chatting to us here, I don’t have experience in this area but happy to keep you company when I check in with MN.

It will OP. It really will. Remember those calming techniques and well done for taking the meds. It’s so good you realise that you need to keep taking them.

Sometimes when i'm really depressed I will walk the dog through the woods and the birdsong turns into insults from the depths of somewhere,( basically the birds are talking to me.) Or the tap will be dripping and it will be saying bad things about me in the drips.

I come out of the fog of it and I realise that the birds were just singing their sweet songs and meant no harm at all.

It seems ridiculous when I think about it in the light of better mental health.

I think what i'm saying is that you feel like your children are robots or fake because your mental health is in a bad place. With lots of rest, nutritious food, continuing your meds and talking with your psychiatrist you will start to come out of it, it's hard work but you can do it.
Well done for recognising your symptoms and acting, you are amazing 👏 💪

Try and get some sleep now OP and set an alarm for an hour before you need to collect kids (unless DH is doing it).

Trying to mask and dealing with all the thoughts will be taking a lot out of you.

It sounds like you are doing an amazing job at questioning your thoughts and that's all anyone can ask.

For reassurance the kids aren't robots, just the normal kids.

❤️

Honey can you have your DH advocate for you with your current team. Things have changed since they made the original plan and now you would be better remaining under their specialist care. Get your husband to write to them.

Huge sympathy. My dad suffers from psychotic depression. At one point he thought everyone who interacted with him was saying my mum would leave him and that my brother and I hated him (we don't).
They were actually saying things like:

"Milk and sugar with that?'
"Single or return journey?"

Turned out he needed his meds changing and then he got much better. Just in case that is an option for you. Xx

Darling the kids aren’t robots, they are your lovely human children.
Get some more rest.
i don’t pretend to know what you’re going through but at one stage in my life i was taking a lot of (prescribed) medication and they came in my room and I swore they were walking on the ceiling. And I kept calling them my own name instead of theirs. It was quite frightening not quite being able to separate reality from fiction while trying not to freak them out by my own fear.
Have yourself a lie down if you’ve had something to eat and taken your meds 💐
sending you a lot of positive thoughts and a huge hug.