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Original poster

Think I'm going psychotic again

219 replies

NotQuiteUsual · 25/04/2026 16:48

It always starts the same way, thinking the kids are fake. I dont want them to talk to me or touch me. So im hiding in the bedroom so they dont notice. DH is running the house for me.

Im so upset and scared, where have my real kids gone? I feel like my medication is poisoning me but I have to keep taking it. I know if I stop taking my meds I'll be fine, but im not allowed to stop.

I'm scared, ive been seeing more moving shadows and things lately too. I just feel like I thought i was doing so well but maybe im not. Maybe ive been struggling more than I realised. This is how it feels when the psychosis starts up. I dont want to get sick again. What do I do? I see my cpn on Monday, so thats good. Id call crisis team but I dont want to kill myself or self harm so they won't want to see me. I'm clueless.

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Original poster
NotQuiteUsual · 03/05/2026 12:03

Social services are being informed about yesterday, do you think they'll visit? We've kept my mental health ahit away from the kids and I dont want them telling the kids about it. The kids just think I get sleepy a lot and have to have naps in my room.

Im not bothered about them being involved, but I dont want them blowing my cover with the kids.

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Original poster
NotQuiteUsual · 03/05/2026 11:19

No I see mt psychiatrist on Friday so he'll sort meds. No one but the Dr in the hospital wants to help. But he said they overruled him.

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Wolfiefan · 03/05/2026 09:54

Have they got you on other meds as well as diazepam? At least they are coming back out.

Original poster
NotQuiteUsual · 03/05/2026 09:09

I had a good night's sleep. The crisis team are coming again tomorrow but they just said oh hoe difficult for you. Lots of times and left. The dog liked one of them though so they seemed OK.

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Wolfiefan · 03/05/2026 08:31

How did the appointment go?

seanconneryseyebrow · 03/05/2026 01:30

Are you ok OP? Whats happening now?

Original poster
NotQuiteUsual · 02/05/2026 23:55

I feel safer now im on a higher dose of diazepam. It's definitely helping. But im still scared about wanting to cut everyone. Crisis team will be here in a few minutes. Im not expecting much, crisis team don't even work like a plaster. They'll just ask questions and say mmm so difficult and then they'll tell me off for being awake even though they arranged the appointment this time.

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humptydumptyfelloff · 02/05/2026 21:55

@NotQuiteUsual

ive been following your thread from the beginning and checking in every day in the hope you start to feel better.

I had a sibling who has been through exactly what you are so I’ve seen first hand how absolutely petrifying it must be for you right now.

im sorry you keep being pushed from pillar to post the mental health care in acute situations like yours in this country is unbelievable it really is.

I hope your safe either at home or in the hospital and you’ve settled

Staceyeatscarrots · 02/05/2026 21:50

It just shows the shocking state of NHS MH services that they are sending you home in this state. It really sounds like you need inpatient treatment

Wolfiefan · 02/05/2026 21:37

I agree. Do you feel safe? What other support do you have apart from the crisis team?

Staceyeatscarrots · 02/05/2026 20:05

Do you feel safe to go home if you are worried whether your children are real?

Original poster
NotQuiteUsual · 02/05/2026 18:23

The mental health ladies came and said im going home under crisis team but crisis team are shite so im on my own. But they will get my stronger diazepam.

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Wolfiefan · 02/05/2026 14:55

i agree taking blood in a hospital is totally normal. They test to see how you are physically. Hope you can manage some more crochet. Is it hospital staff or friends/family who are coming to visit?

moomooitus · 02/05/2026 14:02

I'm glad you didn't have to wait long OP. Try to remember that having blood taken in hospital is a normal thing that happens to people all the time. I hope you're feeling better soon, your crocheting is amazing!

Original poster
NotQuiteUsual · 02/05/2026 13:53

I only waited teb minutes for triage and they took me straight to a bed. The bastards want my blood to fake being human. Tbh know that ive let everyone know I know they're fake im worried about retaliation. Lots of people are gonna visit me. That's exciting. The ceiling is nice in this room thougu

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sunnybluesky75 · 02/05/2026 13:37

You're in the right place OP. It's your mind making you think these thoughts they aren't reality. Your octopus' are great!!

Wolfiefan · 02/05/2026 13:25

That octopus is lovely. I’m so glad you called 111. Sorry you are in A and E but you’re in the right place and at least there is only an hour to wait.

Original poster
NotQuiteUsual · 02/05/2026 13:04

Bit of a decline. I need to see if the kids and dh have blood or if they're clockwork paper robots. 111 has sent me to a and e. Im scared in the waiting room. Its loud and scary. There's only sn hours wait though.

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Original poster
NotQuiteUsual · 02/05/2026 09:00

Just finished this octopus for the youngest as she requested one.

Think I'm going psychotic again
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Original poster
NotQuiteUsual · 02/05/2026 08:44

I.slept 14 hours last night and could happily sleep longer. Im beyond tired.

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ForCosyLion · 01/05/2026 15:13

Wolfiefan · 30/04/2026 21:40

I love them!

Me too! The parent jellyfish and all the baby jellyfish. So cute!

rainbowruthie · 01/05/2026 13:46

That's great news @NotQuiteUsual
Onwards and upwards!

Original poster
NotQuiteUsual · 01/05/2026 13:27

Im coping today!!! I told dh im better and he told me I am most certainly not better. But I feel lots better. He works half days Friday, we're gonna run an errand together.

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CleanSkin · 01/05/2026 08:49

Jellyfish emoji needed as a representation of support, love & positivity - oh my word, there actually is one on the keyboard! So here you are @NotQuiteUsual you can have you own symbol 🪼

Glad you’ve taken the diazepam, it’ll definitely help you with your day.
(I took one last night, for physical medical issues, and had the best night’s sleep in months - only have about 6 left, will have to persuade the GP to represcribe in a few months 🤞)

TheChosenTwo · 01/05/2026 07:45

The jellyfish army are fantastic, I love the multicoloured look!
Hope the pizza was good last night and that you slept okay. Keep going op 💐