Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Original poster

Think I'm going psychotic again

219 replies

NotQuiteUsual · 25/04/2026 16:48

It always starts the same way, thinking the kids are fake. I dont want them to talk to me or touch me. So im hiding in the bedroom so they dont notice. DH is running the house for me.

Im so upset and scared, where have my real kids gone? I feel like my medication is poisoning me but I have to keep taking it. I know if I stop taking my meds I'll be fine, but im not allowed to stop.

I'm scared, ive been seeing more moving shadows and things lately too. I just feel like I thought i was doing so well but maybe im not. Maybe ive been struggling more than I realised. This is how it feels when the psychosis starts up. I dont want to get sick again. What do I do? I see my cpn on Monday, so thats good. Id call crisis team but I dont want to kill myself or self harm so they won't want to see me. I'm clueless.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
ThatFairy · 06/05/2026 22:22

Wolfiefan · 06/05/2026 22:14

You need to see someone @ThatFairy that is not a medication you can just stop.

I know but there's something wrong with my psychiatrist. He treats me weirdly. I'm planning to look into how to get someone new. Even if he was normal the side effects are intolerable and he wouldn't change it

PurpleLovecats · 06/05/2026 22:18

I’ve been following your thread and think you are doing really well. I’m on antipsychotics currently but coming off soon and I’m dreading it. You seem to have a good support network which is really positive.
Well done x

Wolfiefan · 06/05/2026 22:14

You need to see someone @ThatFairy that is not a medication you can just stop.

ThatFairy · 06/05/2026 22:02

@Wolfiefan no I was having really bad side effects but the psychiatrist refused to change the medication. I've missed my last appointment as I don't trust him for other reasons and I don't want to see him again

Wolfiefan · 06/05/2026 21:42

@ThatFairy are you off them under medical supervision? Have you spoken to the professional responsible for your care?

ThatFairy · 06/05/2026 19:38

Glad you're feeling better. I'm off my antipsychotics atm and the other day I had a few weird symptoms. I overheard someone say my son's name and then someone else shortly after saying "better safe than sorry" and I got a little paranoid and tried to call him but the call kept disconnecting. And I felt really worried till he called me. I don't know if this is a symptom or just a normal worrying moment

Wolfiefan · 06/05/2026 11:31

I’m glad you managed to walk the dog and that you are seeing psych later. You are so self aware and you’re doing so well.

Staceyeatscarrots · 06/05/2026 09:06

You are doing so well OP, you should be really proud of yourself ⭐️

Original poster
NotQuiteUsual · 06/05/2026 08:55

I walked the dog this morning which was nice. Woken up feeling a bit overwhelmed but nothing like it was. Crisis team aren't visiting today but im off to see thr psychologist later.

Needed diazepam this morning. O take it after the school run so im not foggy headed with the children. But it was tough, my son was really giddy and wouldn't stop going on and on. The girls were easier but it still was just too much. Im trying really hard to reintergrate into family life but its hard. But im needed and I just have to get on.

OP posts:
CleanSkin · 06/05/2026 05:37

I think the OP knows that, @raisinglittlepeople12 - she has been doing her best with this illness and knows she feels better when she takes them. (Unless you are actually medically qualified to help?)

raisinglittlepeople12 · 05/05/2026 23:21

Speak to your gp. You wouldn’t be fine without your meds, you’d likely go deeper into psychosis. You need to speak to a doctor ASAP.

Wolfiefan · 05/05/2026 23:18

Glad you’ve had a lovely day and have been able to take to meds tonight.

JourneywithFinch · 05/05/2026 22:25

Just wanted to reach out and and say be kind to yourself. Keep keep telling the crisis team honestly how you are feeling and what you are struggling with. I hope you get the support you need.

CleanSkin · 05/05/2026 21:43

Thats great news @NotQuiteUsual - it’s such a privilege to be able to help a special friend through a difficult situation.

Original poster
NotQuiteUsual · 05/05/2026 15:16

We had a lovely day. I decided not to take my diazepam this morning to see how i did. I actually feel a lot better for it. Ill still take this evenings dose, but here's to hoping the distress has passed.

OP posts:
blankcanvas3 · 05/05/2026 13:04

Hope you have a lovely day with your friend. Have you managed to take your diazepam yet?

Wolfiefan · 05/05/2026 12:34

She sounds like an amazing friend. It’s great you can be there for each other.

Original poster
NotQuiteUsual · 05/05/2026 08:00

Im supporting my friend at an appointment today(she knows what's up and im there for emotional support) we both are autistic and suffer delusions and together we find it all hilarious. So itll be great to have a laugh. My friend is dental phobic so I go to all her appointments and stroke her leg.

Shes the only friend who doesnt act weird when im ill, she's amazing and seeing her today will be great.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 04/05/2026 21:42

I am glad she was nice. Appointments like that can be exhausting. Just focus on what you do feel able to do.

SerenitySeeker4 · 04/05/2026 15:45

I hope you're feeling better now. Just hang in there, everything will be alright.

Original poster
NotQuiteUsual · 04/05/2026 15:36

Crisis team just left. She was nice, she says im very detached and that everyone is real, but to her of course they're real because she's fake too. Im exhausted after the appointment abd need sleep now. She wants me to go outside but I dont wanna.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 04/05/2026 10:58

I’m sure the diazepam is intended to help you out until Friday. Just to keep you feeling calmer and slow the thoughts until psych can sort a decent combo for you. Hope you will be back searching out the sea critters soon.

Lizzbear · 04/05/2026 10:13

How are you op? Just read all your posts. I hope you’re feeling better soon.
I wonder why they won’t take you as an inpatient for a while?

Original poster
NotQuiteUsual · 04/05/2026 09:11

Feeling a bit better today. But ive not taken my diazepam yet. I dont want to feel sedated. Ill take it. But I'll complain about it first.

I miss going to the beach and rockpooling. I like harassing the sea critters. Im really good at finding starfish.

I told my dad whata going on yesterday, typical responses from him, didn't wanna hear the details but offered to travel the 6 hours to help out. But we dont have a spare room! Plus id rally all my strength to enjoy his visit snd crash when he left.

I want everything to be real again

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 03/05/2026 14:30

I am sure they won’t be telling the kids about your diagnosis. Apart from anything that’s your private medical information. They just want to know you and your family are safe.