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Original poster

Tips for managing anxiety after difficult feedback at work

29 replies

MaybeNeverSoon · 21/04/2026 09:11

I would feel embarassed admitting this in real life but I am hyper sensitive to any kind of negative feedback and it spikes my anxiety. I have always been this way even though I am now mid forties with two children and a successful job! I have a very thin skin.

I recently had an appraisal at work and was given feedback on things I need to improve. I found this so hard to hear (I responded professionally / appropriately in the meeting) that my anxiety has spiralled since and I am struggling to eat and sleep properly. My rational brain knows the feedback was not that negative but my irrational brain doesn’t listen.

I was previously on Sertraline for 18 months but weaned off two years ago. It helped with my anxiety but made me feel exhausted and I would rather try and manage this without medication. I also had some advice from a therapist with coping strategies (like writing down my worries etc) but I don’t find that makes much of a difference. I am taking 5HTP which might just be a placebo but is worth a try.

does anyone out there have any tips that have worked for them, managing anxiety as a highly sensitive person?

OP posts:
Eyesopenwideawake · 21/04/2026 10:55

I have only realised as an adult how sensitive I am, when I see others unphased by what other people think of them.

How do you know they are unphased? Do other people see your anxiety or are you also good at hiding it?

I think you're right in saying this is probably learned behaviour, and it's also more normal that not to be cautious – humans wouldn't have survived for as long as we have without a healthy awareness of risk.

This video is really useful in understanding what anxiety is and how to work with it rather than fighting it;

Original poster
MaybeNeverSoon · 21/04/2026 09:57

Eyesopenwideawake · 21/04/2026 09:34

Although you say you’ve ‘always been this way’ can you recall when/why you realized that negativity in others was something to be avoided? Dealing with that part of your emotional mind is the way to resolve this.

Also when did you realize (or were told) that you are highly sensitive?

This is a good question. And I find it interesting to consider your question and to contemplate how differently other people might be wired (I am thinking - how could you ever not want to avoid other people’s negative thoughts about yourself?!)

I have only realised as an adult how sensitive I am, when I see others unphased by what other people think of them.

I have always been cautious, would rather not try a new activity than try it and be bad at it, and find any kind of negative feedback completely demolishes my confidence. My dad is the same so I assume it is either an inherited or learned trait from him… his mental health is much worse than mine sadly. I would say I cover all of this at work / in society quite well and I have done well in my career, have lots of friends, in a social situation I can be quite brave, etc. The impact comes on my private thoughts and anxiety. When I am feeling as anxious as I am at the moment I just want to hide away from everything.

Thank you for replying.

OP posts:
mums127 · 21/04/2026 09:35

I have the same problem but sadly haven't found a way around it

Eyesopenwideawake · 21/04/2026 09:34

Although you say you’ve ‘always been this way’ can you recall when/why you realized that negativity in others was something to be avoided? Dealing with that part of your emotional mind is the way to resolve this.

Also when did you realize (or were told) that you are highly sensitive?