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Original poster

Didn't want to wake up

86 replies

Springtime54 · 05/04/2026 07:37

Now I have, it's the immediate panic and dread. Paralysed to do anything. The absolute struggle of getting through another day. I cant do another 40 - 50 years, I just can't.

OP posts:
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Barbequebeans64 · 08/04/2026 22:48

Springtime54 · 05/04/2026 07:37

Now I have, it's the immediate panic and dread. Paralysed to do anything. The absolute struggle of getting through another day. I cant do another 40 - 50 years, I just can't.

I actually cried when I read this because this was me 3 weeks ago. I'm sorry it's so tough right now, I'm here if you want to talk

clover888 · 08/04/2026 21:55

Hello @Springtime54 we‘re all thinking of you. How are you?

Shaveitall · 08/04/2026 20:45

Hi OP, I’m really concerned about you as you haven’t posted for a couple of days.

Ukholidaysaregreat · 08/04/2026 07:23

Hi OP, hope you have had some more water and you are feeling better than yesterday. Xxxx

Shaveitall · 07/04/2026 20:32

How are you today @Springtime54? Did you manage to make it into work or did you take some time to rest?

Scottishlass9 · 07/04/2026 10:34

Morning @Springtime54How are you feeling today?

Original poster
Springtime54 · 06/04/2026 17:39

Ukholidaysaregreat · 06/04/2026 17:23

Hi OP. Hope you have got a drink from the tap. It is dangerous not to drink for so long. Xxx

Just had a drink and some painkillers as have another banging headache.

OP posts:
Ukholidaysaregreat · 06/04/2026 17:23

Hi OP. Hope you have got a drink from the tap. It is dangerous not to drink for so long. Xxx

BringBackCatsEyes · 06/04/2026 17:03

Springtime54 · 06/04/2026 15:26

I just can't manage to phone anyone. I tried the text service shout but it didnt help.

Show quote history

OK, I'm sorry.
I have never found the text or email services very good for me, I need someone right there in that moment.

I see you are not under the NHS MH. I wonder if it's worth asking your GP to be referred again. As well as supporting you, it may help secure your position at work with regards to sick leave.

mismomary · 06/04/2026 15:54

Hi Springtime, I hope you are feeling a tiny bit lighter today. Enough to get a breath of fresh air. X

Original poster
Springtime54 · 06/04/2026 15:53

Katiecarrot · 06/04/2026 15:50

It does sound like severe depression, why are you paying a private psychiatrists, you may be better to go NHS, they offer the ECT for treatment resistant depression, and there is a similar newer treatment called Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation, I have seen massive improvements with these - once your depression is treated you can start to focus on making the life changes you feel you need to x

The nhs discharged me after I moved house. They just sent me a letter saying my GP could manage me. I'd been under nhs mental health services for years. They didnt even phone me about it or have a conversation, I just got a letter.

OP posts:
Katiecarrot · 06/04/2026 15:50

It does sound like severe depression, why are you paying a private psychiatrists, you may be better to go NHS, they offer the ECT for treatment resistant depression, and there is a similar newer treatment called Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation, I have seen massive improvements with these - once your depression is treated you can start to focus on making the life changes you feel you need to x

Whosthetabbynow · 06/04/2026 15:49

What antidepressants have you been prescribed?

Original poster
Springtime54 · 06/04/2026 15:45

Whosthetabbynow · 06/04/2026 15:32

Yeh I understand. It’s a safe space that you’ve retreated to. Please make sure you drink lots of water and try to eat a banana or toast. Are you able to distract yourself with anything on Netflix? Are you able to get some fresh air in through the window. I really feel for you x

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I haven't really got any food in the house as haven't been shopping. Have a podcast on that helps me sleep. Can't open the window. Thank you for replying. I don't have anyone.

OP posts:
Whosthetabbynow · 06/04/2026 15:32

Springtime54 · 06/04/2026 15:28

All I can do is lie in bed with something over my eyes. Thats the only way I feel safe ish.

Show quote history

Yeh I understand. It’s a safe space that you’ve retreated to. Please make sure you drink lots of water and try to eat a banana or toast. Are you able to distract yourself with anything on Netflix? Are you able to get some fresh air in through the window. I really feel for you x

Original poster
Springtime54 · 06/04/2026 15:28

Whosthetabbynow · 06/04/2026 15:26

It’s that awful morning cortisol rush isn’t it. It’s a real shame that antidepressants haven’t managed to dampen that feeling for you. I really do get it. Try to open the curtains and get in the shower if you can. If you can’t, breathe deeply and concentrate on the things closest to you; the feel of a blanket or clouds passing in the sky. Hang in there ❤️

All I can do is lie in bed with something over my eyes. Thats the only way I feel safe ish.

OP posts:
Original poster
Springtime54 · 06/04/2026 15:27

BringBackCatsEyes · 06/04/2026 15:20

I know this was over a day ago now, but if you manage just to say to Samaritans that you’d like them to talk to you - just a kind voice, they will do so. They don’t expect you to carry out a conversation. You can just cry down the phone if that will at the very least give you some release.
I am sorry you are feeling so awful.

Show quote history

I cant actually cry tbh. Its like I'm numb and I've accepted my fate.

OP posts:
Whosthetabbynow · 06/04/2026 15:26

It’s that awful morning cortisol rush isn’t it. It’s a real shame that antidepressants haven’t managed to dampen that feeling for you. I really do get it. Try to open the curtains and get in the shower if you can. If you can’t, breathe deeply and concentrate on the things closest to you; the feel of a blanket or clouds passing in the sky. Hang in there ❤️

Original poster
Springtime54 · 06/04/2026 15:26

BringBackCatsEyes · 06/04/2026 15:20

I know this was over a day ago now, but if you manage just to say to Samaritans that you’d like them to talk to you - just a kind voice, they will do so. They don’t expect you to carry out a conversation. You can just cry down the phone if that will at the very least give you some release.
I am sorry you are feeling so awful.

Show quote history

I just can't manage to phone anyone. I tried the text service shout but it didnt help.

OP posts:
BringBackCatsEyes · 06/04/2026 15:20

Springtime54 · 05/04/2026 09:26

I'm alone, I don't have anyone. I'll try and call the samaritans later but I dont know if I'll be able to, I really struggle to make phone calls.

Show quote history

I know this was over a day ago now, but if you manage just to say to Samaritans that you’d like them to talk to you - just a kind voice, they will do so. They don’t expect you to carry out a conversation. You can just cry down the phone if that will at the very least give you some release.
I am sorry you are feeling so awful.

Original poster
Springtime54 · 06/04/2026 15:14

PurpleDisco · 06/04/2026 10:45

@Springtime54 hope you’ve drank some water by now. You write well and are intelligent so you know you’re seriously dehydrated after waking up with a headache. Don’t do this to yourself or deteriorate any further as your organs will be doing overtime without proper hydration.

Take one step at a time. Make sure you eat something healthy today. Drink plenty of water throughout the day to make up for the last 2 days of acting like you’re lost in the Sahara desert. Get your uniform dry for tomorrow. It won’t take that long. Forget about your relative for now and just focus on yourself. Stop trying to solve everything at once as that’s not possible. Your weight is certainly not a priority right now. Do you think the main problem is your job or your colleagues which is the root cause of your stress?

I haven't been able to get out of bed.
Its everything. I hate my job, I hate where I live. I dont have any friends. No one likes me. I have a tiny dysfunctional family and I'm just a burden to them. Life is miserable every day.

OP posts:
Amira83 · 06/04/2026 10:51

hi im autistic and ive been thru this feeling a lot through my life, always struggled just to survive. ive always got myself through these times (Luckily)
im here if you just want to someone to txt as a friend, just for the emotional support. Im sure we can exchange numbers if you message me on here.

PurpleDisco · 06/04/2026 10:45

@Springtime54 hope you’ve drank some water by now. You write well and are intelligent so you know you’re seriously dehydrated after waking up with a headache. Don’t do this to yourself or deteriorate any further as your organs will be doing overtime without proper hydration.

Take one step at a time. Make sure you eat something healthy today. Drink plenty of water throughout the day to make up for the last 2 days of acting like you’re lost in the Sahara desert. Get your uniform dry for tomorrow. It won’t take that long. Forget about your relative for now and just focus on yourself. Stop trying to solve everything at once as that’s not possible. Your weight is certainly not a priority right now. Do you think the main problem is your job or your colleagues which is the root cause of your stress?

Original poster
Springtime54 · 06/04/2026 08:14

Woken up with a bad headache this morning because I havent drunk any water in 2 days. I'm still so upset by my relatives reaction yesterday. Dreading work tomorrow. Need to try and dry my work clothes quickly.

OP posts:
Original poster
Springtime54 · 06/04/2026 08:10

XelaM · 06/04/2026 00:11

Can you articulate what it is that would make your life better? x

If it didnt exist.

OP posts: