Food issue for DD15 but not ED

My dd (20) is like this. She will only eat food that is "safe". So at the Indian restaurant last week she was fine to go half portions with her girlfriend, but the shared poppadoms/ dips were "unsafe". My other 2 kids are not like this at all! But its something I've come to terms with

DD doesn’t eat on school trips. She sometimes loses weight, if it’s a week long , very active trip. Different issue as in her case it’s being fussy as fuck /sensory issues. I always warn her teachers and tell them the most important thing is to leave her be and don’t make a fuss. They always laugh and say they never have a child that doesn’t eat. I always get an update either after or during the trip that she doesn’t eat, what can they do? Leave her alone, she’s fine. One was particularly bad as the teacher told them if they put food on their plate they have to eat it all (I’m sure they weren’t malicious, just trying to avoid greed/waste) which meant she only ate bread and fruit for week, because they were the only things she was sure she would eat. Even on holidays with us she’s not great, but she trusts me to pick for her and also knows she can leave it if she doesn’t like it, so a bit more willing to try stuff.She does not have an eating disorder.

It’s not normal and I think it needs to be sorted before it escalates. Nothing wrong with being mindful of cleanliness etc but refusing to eat communally and insisting on bringing packed lunches to every event WILL adversely affect friendships and relationships.

I would say this is veering towards an OCD issue rather than an eating disorder.

Do you think you might be feeding into her concerns by labelling the general public 'gross'? Do you include yourself in that?! The human body is designed to handle all sorts of bugs and germs – without that exposure we wouldn't build up immunity.

Unless we live in a sterile bubble everything single thing we touch – including sports equipment and friends – is unclean; and that's a good thing. Did she eat dirt and sand as a baby? Does she allow pets to lick her? All good. If you think she's tipping into OCD a chat with your doctor might be in order.

Alternatively get her into horses. Soon she'll think nothing of cleaning a shitty stable, wrestling a bit into a grassy mouth and then eating a sandwich without even thinking about washing her hands.

Its a difficult one, all her concerns are very valid. I have family members who refuse to eat anything from outside restaurants for this very reason. They take food prepared at home when they go out. Only book self catering holidays etc. but this is considered normal as they are healthy. I'm sorry I don't have any ways to help, just validating you.