Suspended from work after serious mistake and struggling to see a way forward

I’m glad to hear that the union are representing you. Hope that things go better than you are expecting

@DeepDarkBlack

Any understanding work place who have been informed about your mental health struggles will want to support you and see you get better.

You’re not just some asshole who flew off the handle, you weren’t well.

Try not to think that you’re going to be told off like some naughty school kid because that won’t be the case.

How did the meeting go? How are you feeling now?

Give yourself some time to recover. Don’t make any rash decisions yet (like resigning).

Does the employer know you are autistic? Have they made any adjustments to your work for that? They have a duty to, regardless of whether you have asked for them. And it isn’t a case of trying one or two things and then saying “you can’t do this job”.

Have you ever applied to access to work? They can assess and make recommendations for adjustments and also provide funding alongside your employer. There are all sorts of things that can be done, even having an assistant at work, but including use of technology, being given instructions in different formats, quiet spaces, special work spaces that are more sensory sensitive to you.

You are disabled. You experienced a well described and well known aspect of your condition. You deserve to recover from that episode and as you say now is not remotely a time for considering going back to work.

When you are up to it consult a lawyer and try to settle with your employer. You can negotiate a reference at that time. Things will get better.

Yes, if you haven't already, pls make a gp appt and discuss everything with them. It will be important for you to be seen in connection with this incident, as much as you may need further support if youre feeling really low about everything. Perhaps being signed off is the right thing for now, let everything settle a bit?

So did an error trigger the capability meeting or just the meeting itself your meltdown. How long have you worked for the company?

Don't worry about back to work yet... what ever happened you are feeling stressed anxious and overwhelmed at the moment and are too sick to.work atm anyway. I have been there ( but I admit not the gross misconduct, but did have a melt down at work and got sent home on sickness for MH ). You will feel up to.work when you are better , trust in that. And focus now on getting through each day or each moment. Can you get a sick note from your Dr even though you are suspended? That will show that what ever happened was part of the MH issues. Also please be kind to yourself autistic minds can really go into panic spiral mode with things like this. Reach out to people if you can in RL too. But you will feel able to work again when you are better.

HRD Human Resources Director. Was the issue directly due to your disability or your reaction to a consequence of it?

@FoxRedPuppy I'm also an HRD and I agree with you. The potential risks here regarding the Equality Act and whether reasonable adjustments were properly considered and in place would lead me to look favourably on a settlement.

Please don't tar all HRDs with the same brush. Some of us, whilst admittedly acting for the employer, have a little morality and can see where an approproate duty of care has not been exercised.

Please believe me that managers who have not exercised that duty of care have not enjoyed a feedback meeting with me. My union reps also tend to know who needs their support and who doesn't.

Argh, I disagree with HR director. As I said plenty of case law that behaviour that is caused by a disability ca be protected. There is an example of a teacher showing and over 18 film to students. He won £600k for disability discrimination as he had asked for help to manage MH/Stress and didn’t get it. The showing of the film was deemed to be a misjudgment based on his disability.

OP isn’t “relying on her disability” she is disabled. I work for a union an do casework. Please get advice from them. HR is always on the side of the employer.

I’d this autistic burnout do you think? I think now is the time for recovery not big picture stuff like going back to work. If you are burnt out (autistic or not) your focus has to be getting your thinking back to a more compassionate place for yourself and taking time to recover from the situation.

I agree with @SD1978 if you’ve already made your mind up that returning isn’t an option then it’s time to start planning your next steps. Why wait for the outcome of a meeting if you have no intention of returning. Either start job hunting now in a different sector / something that will be more manageable or look into benefits that maybe available whilst you work with the GP to manage your other issues

You seem to have decided you’ll never work again, and don’t seem too interested in the suggestions, advice as to how the current situation may possibly be resolved, if there is a current mental health crisis, so I guess the real question is what you plan on doing since going back doesn’t seem to be what you want even if you can

OP your union will support you. Long term mental health issues qualify as a disability so your employer needs to be careful here.

If you were affected by your medication and your mental health issues and that impacted your behaviour at work that day and caused the incident they will struggle to claim this was gross misconduct.

P.S HRD - HR Director. I’m in a much broader role now but HR still within my remit.

@Superscientistis spot on.

Your disability may have been the cause but the employer’s responses needs to take much more into consideration, including the safety of other employees.

Have they referred you to OH?

it’s impossible to give any firmer advice without knowing the details of what happened - I.e. throwing a chair across a room vs smashing up a colleagues desk and what your disability is.

FWIW I’ve had management conversations with more than one person for telling their boss to fuck off but the only one I’ve dismissed was the one who refused to apologise, blamed their anxiety and was long term sick for 6 months - they ended up being dismissed for capability reasons as opposed to the incident in isolation.

I think what @BlackBean2023 is suggesting is that under the disability act a company has to offer reasonable adjustments to allow the employee to continue in a role. There will be circumstances where there is no viable reasonable adjustments so can let you go for that reason even if cleared of the misconduct on mental health grounds.

For example I'm bipolar and a lab user, in one position I was having a bad episode and was called into my supervisors office as it was becoming clear that I was too unwell to be in the lab. I went off on sick leave for 4 months and when I returned I was safe to go back into the lab. Let's say something happened that amounted to misconduct whilst I was in the lab due to my mental health. They could accept that it was only due to my mental health that this arose and not dismiss me because of that. At the same time determine that I was no longer fit to continue in my role due to my mental health as there was no reasonable adjustments that would allow this situation to not happen again and allow me to continue in this role. I could then be dismissed on that grounds instead.

I was an HRD for many years OP. Your best bet is not to rely on your disability- your employer only needs to make reasonable adjustments and from your vague description of what’s happened it probably falls outside of ‘reasonable’. Your best bet is humility - apologise. Offer to pay for any damage. Write a letter if it’s easier.

If you really can’t return then you need some advice on a without prejudice conversation.

Do you want to work there? If your mental health is declining you might be better having a break, accessing counselling and working on improving your mental health.
Then looking for work when you are ready