What does OCD look like for you?

My DD has declined to learn as she's worried about this Tbh.

Extreme driving anxiety to the extent thst I've stopped.

Is that ambulance for some one I've knocked over?
Did I go through a red light?
Was that a bump.in the road or a body?

I csnt ignore the possibility

It's a horrible condition. My DD has OCD & ASD.
She has good and bad spells and stress can easily tip her into spiralling and catastrophising.
She's had support for it which is helpful. Doesn't stop it happening but helps her recognise when it's an intrusive thoughts.
Learning to recognise them, resist acting on the thought and waiting for it to pass - is frustrating - but can work. It's a 'normal' thought process for most people, but some people are more susceptible to seeing the patterns and reacting to the thought. But it was a liberating moment for my DD to understand that thoughts are sometimes just thoughts and you can let them go (and nothing bad happens) and you can change your thoughts and thus your feelings, but it's your actions that determine who you are, not your thoughts. She ruminates on taboo things sometimes and as a child this made her feel shame which was debilitating. She's still dealing with the thoughts but is in a better place.

I have all that you describe plus the cleanliness and germs thing.

Covid of course was a double edged sword!

My home is very, very tidy and clean.

The checking is exhausting and I hide it from most people which means I have to avoid some situations and opportunities for social contact.

I have had therapy of varying types and take medication.

Nothing really helps so I just do the best I can to live my life around it.

Living alone makes it easier to cope with because I don’t have someone else finding my behaviours restricting and complaining.

The worst thing has been having to stop driving because I realised my compulsive checking was making me a danger.

Posted before but I literally couldn’t be at any height with my baby because of intrusive thoughts. I felt so ashamed and like a terrible mother, I got help, he’s three now and it’s a struggle but better

I had a nervous breakdown in 2008, your description sounds like how I felt before I crashed. There was totally no reason for the things l was getting anxious about.

I’m in my 60s and only just realising what’s made me different all these years. When I was very young I could only go to sleep if the towels in the bathroom were straight, my mum made a joke of it because. She was a clean freak and thought I was like her.
Later I had a phrase I would repeat every time we passed a certain place, then came the counting which I still do, how many steps to the door, car, shop etc.
I’ve had Emetophobia ever since I can remember and intrusive thoughts. It all adds up now. My mum suffered from anxiety all her life and took numerous drugs for it through her life. I’ve never sought treatment just accepted it’s part of me I suppose .

Never formally diagnosed but for me it’s intrusive thoughts, mainly that I’ve upset someone, or done something horrible.
I do the checking of things but I’ve got better - I take photos of things now so I can show myself the hob is off etc.

Sometimes my ocd is a quiet noise in the background, but at the minute it’s a full on roar.
its almost like my brain has to exhaust itself with the anxiety and ocd and then it calms down for a while (not sure how to explain that)

I’ve been there with the HIV worry, it’s horrible, at one point I was constantly being tested as I was adamant I had it, I’ve been marred 14 years and no cheating (to my knowledge)
but the fear is always there

I have a question about checking. I thought OCD was for example a compulsion to check you’d turned the light off 5 times otherwise your husband would die. I check I’ve turned the oven off several times before I leave because if I haven’t then my house is at risk. I check my work bag 4 times before I drive off because otherwise my boss will be cross if I forget something. This feels logical? I check multiple times because I forget what I’ve seen.

I had an OCD assessment last year and the assessor said although I met the threshold it was most likely just anxiety.

Diagnosed with OCD last year
mine resonates in overthinking, health related, house related, family related, anything.
check my body for anything different constantly, google constantly.
I also have an obsession with plugs, turning them off and checking they are off (if I don’t I obsess il burn the house down)
I also obsessively buy things, at the time I feel like it brings me happiness then I obsess over the money spent.
it’s totally ruining my life in general and nothing seems to help it.

Another weird intrusive thought I have is that if I get a new partner, I convince myself I have HIV from previous sexual encounters (even though I’ve been checked and always use protection)! It’s almost like if anything good is happening I look for the worst thing that could happen to change the good then and then obsess and convince myself it could be true!

@Namethatbaublei didn’t worry about my handbrake until I once did actually do this (had gone from an automatic to a manual car) now I check obsessively! Can relate to everything you’ve said.

so interesting about the possible links to ND! I’ve never seen myself ND - I 99% don’t think im
autistic but have considered ADHD!

My youngest son has ASD and he's incapacitated by his OCD at the minute. I have to feed him, dress him, shower him, I draw the line at wiping his backside so he can spend hours in the bog before I crack. He does nothing but stare at walls. Hasn't left the house in weeks. His started in the pandemic with all the hand washing and sanitisers that went with it.

Dealing with mental health services are ... Frustrating.

If you think you have OCD then I really wouldn't ignore it. Sooner it's caught before it leaves you a shell the better.

Checking in with checking and contamination and intrusive thoughts about dying

@fridayyay4wow! Are we the same person? I’ve had OCD for as long as I can remember, but since having my child it has been exacerbated! She hardly slept from 0-4, so I think lack of sleep didn’t help (I was constantly willing her to sleep but when she did I was so anxious that something had happened to her)! I’ve had intrusive thoughts since I was a teenager, but just thought I was weird and haven’t ever dared to talk to anyone about the thoughts.
i compulsively check all switches in the house every morning (it’s exhausting) and worry that I’m going to make such huge mistakes at work the company will fold, so much so that I compulsively check things in case I’ve let something slip! it can be paralysing sometimes. Nobody really talks about OCD or they just assume it’s a compulsion to check and don’t focus on the mental turmoil you can go through. I’d love to hear how people have managed to get a hold of their compulsions, I hear the best advice is to not do the checking etc etc but I just can’t bring myself to do that. Sending love and good vibes xxxx

OCD is linked to autism. It's a severe form of anxiety. Many people with OCD will be autistic/ neurodivergent.

Obviously I mean in some cases it could be linked to that, not all! I'm not a Dr either, just my own thoughts

I do wonder if it's linked to the brain trying to cope eg undiagnosed ADHD, Autism, PTSD, trauma responses etc.
As if it's trying to find control in a world where things are overstimulating or triggering, or trying to protect itself by being overly cautious to the extreme.
As soon as I'm overwhelmed I feel that little niggle at the back of my brain trying to lure me in.

I have most of these afflictions too . I had these intrusive thoughts as a very young child.

Does anyone have any theories why this special hell happens to us?

Ok so… mine is getting in trouble with the police, accidentally knocking someone over with my car, leaving something on such as oven, iron, straighteners, leaving the handbrake off, accidentally committing a crime or upsetting someone. False memories have now become a thing too whereby if I can’t exactly remember something then I assume I must have done something terrible. It is so debilitating and can ruin months of my life at a time ruminating. I over check everything, drive back and check I’ve not caused an accident and become almost unbearable in my own head. I lose my appetite and feel so low I’m sometimes wishing to not wake up because I convince myself I’ve done something awful. The panic is insanely bad.

If I can’t stop the rumination for a short period and build on it, I can see that I am irrational
and then can move on. Until the next thing

Currently on a waiting list for talking therapy.

Hardly anyone except my Husband and my Daughter know about this and I am
vwry very good at masking. Inside though, it kills me.

For me it’s anything that starts as a small worry then I can’t let it go until I’ve asked for reassurance from someone. It’s usually around if I’ve upset someone or whether someone is trying to avoid me. Or whether I need to contact someone.
sounds like nothing but I can spend days trying to get certainly and it’s haunting. I don’t feel like eating or can’t focus on anything else except my intrusive thought/woory. It is hell and as soon as I’ve got one thing right in my head, another worry takes it’s place.
im going for therapy next week x

Intrusive thoughts. I was diagnosed after being obsessed that I was going to be killed by terrorists. I was unable to sleep or eat or do anything for weeks.

eventually I got better.

when I told my mum she said that there is no way that I have OCD because I’m so messy

My DD has OCD and her obsession is not being able to sleep. Her compulsive behaviour started with a compulsive need to empty her bladder and reach a "just right" feeling. She can spend up to two hours going to the toilet before bed. It has escalated into making sure other things are "just right" too - the bedside table set up in an exact way, the door and curtains closed a precise amount. If anything is off, or her routines get interrupted in any way, she will start again from the beginning. She gets very distressed. I think it is inherited from my DH who does a lot of ritualistic security checking.

The gold standard therapy for OCD os supposed to be ERP. We are waiting for a CAMHS assessment but also on the waiting list for a psychologist.

Also to add, CBT last year massively helped.