I feel like accepting antidepressants is admitting I can’t cope.

Exactly this

There is nothing wrong with admitting you're not coping as well as you could be. I find that hard too, so know it is hard.

My doctor told me that when you've been under stress for a long time, sometimes your brain could be depleted of serotonin and antidepressants could help restore that. I took them for a year. They really turned my life around. I'd recommend.

Sorry, should have added, for context, my dosage is quite high as I suffer from PTSD, and phobias, panic attacks and childhood traumas.

Im interesting company!😄

Solidarity OP, I resisted Anti-Ds for ages and I was advised by every GP I saw to try them. I did not want to take what I perceived to be “nutter pills”

When I was finally advised by (yet another) therapist that they would he me, I gave it much thought and research.

I eventually decided to go with it, and for the first week, I was all over the shop! But I persevered and I will probably be on them forever.

They calm my racing intrusive thoughts, settle my shaking hands and generally keep my mood well. They also help me sleep.

I would say, give them a try, give them a good few weeks, you may need to twiddle your dose, but I have no doubt that they keep me going.
I’m 62, have been on them around 10 years and take 30mg of Paroxitine a day.

Wishing you well. OP 🌸

I see depression as comparable with diabetes. There is a chemical pathway in your brain, that for one reason or another, is not functioning correctly.

Sometimes it's just a part of who you are, it's hereditary, it's just always going to be there, like type 1. This is what I beleive I have, I have had symptoms of depression as long as I can remember, I have self harmed since primary school. It gets more manageable when there are aren't also external stressors ( like eating a healthy diet for diabetes management)

Sometimes it develops later in life through no fault of.your own, athletes develop type 2 diabetes, something just goes wrong and the pathway breaks down.

Sometimes it develops becuase of your environment, stress, bereavement, trauma, an unhealthy diet. It may be that you need antidepressants (or insulin) temporarily while these external causes are dealt with/go away. Sometimes the change in irreversible and the pathway can't be fixed and you need to manage it forever.

It is not your fault, no amount of willpower can make your body process serotonin better. You can't will away diabetes, you can't will away depression. It is a medical condition and it is responsible to treat it.

Why is 'coping' so important to you?

If you had a broken leg or a tumour, would you 'cope' or would you accept that treatment was the best option?

I felt the same as you but ended up having a huge breakdown which was awful. Eventually accepted the antidepressants and a year on I can’t tell you how different my life is. Please try them and if you have side effects talk to your doctor who will help and change your prescription. Like others have said it’s really no different to taking painkillers for a headache. Take care of yourself.

I felt like that too OP and spent two years throwing myself into self care with the gym, fresh air, nail appointments, diet etc. Then I relented and am glad I did because with a very low dose of Escitalopram (I only take 5mg) it’s like someone has switched the lights on.

Someone close to me has been on and off sertraline over many years. They have made a huge difference when he takes them.

I can hear the exhaustion in your post. The vit D and low iron issues will all be adding to that. Could you maybe focus on one of these at a time? Nutrition geeks have small high strength vitamin D tablets - my DD with ARFID can tolerate them.

Iron supplements come in 2 different types and one is more gentle on the stomach. You need to take the supplements with vitamin C. It has been recommended for years to only take them every other day but GPs don’t always know this so it isn’t always shared.

I’m sure you know all of this but when you’re exhausted it’s hard to do. You really need to gentle with yourself and accept all the help you can will you’re going through this tricky time.

Honestly, we are fortunate to live in an age when these drugs are available. Be kind to yourself.

I mean this with kindness.

Woman up. I am on sertraline, I needed help and I am not ashamed to admit that. It does not make me less capable because I need the support sertraline gives.

I take antidepressants and levothyroxine. Both because I don't have enough of something in my body. Neither mean that I can't cope!

Honestly, you have nothing to lose.

I should have been on antidepressants from my very early 20s- I'm 44 now and wasted huge swathes of my life because I wouldn't admit I needed medication. It's just medication. It's not failing, and you deserve to feel better.

I felt exactly the same OP but it got to the point of choosing between killing myself or accepting ADs. Within 6 weeks of starting them I feel so much better with some hope for the future.
I accept that I can’t cope without them at the moment. I tried for long enough but was sinking further and further into despair.
So, what does it matter if you can’t cope and need some help atm? Does that make you a lesser person?

Totally agree @faerylights

Infact, this is exactly what my doctor said to me. A chemical in balance, which needs treated just like a broken leg would.

see it as a positive. Like a crutch to make things easier not harder.

I've been on Sertraline since 2021 and it has changed my life for the better. There is no need to suffer like you are! I take one tiny pill with my breakfast each morning, and life is a breeze now.

It's a medicine like any other. I take citalopram and it has changed my life. It calms you down so you can look at situations rationally. I have saved time and energy from overthinking and have channelled this into positive life changes.

I know it would be an “oversimplification” but I honestly thing illnesses like depression and bipolar should be renamed neurotransmission dysfunctions. Because the struggles are internal for the most part and wouldn’t show up on a blood test or machine test, people confuse depression, which I guess is a spectrum condition, as somehow not a serious condition deserving medication help.

OP I had to post. 48, epileptic and 3 years ago was where you are. Too convinced by the taboos and feeling that if I could just eat right, make better choices I'd be ok. I started on sertraline and life is 100% better. I don't feel spaced out or anything, just more together, better able to cope and I cry a normal amount at things instead of sobbing for hours. I wish I'd never delayed taking meds. Nothing changed, just my brain chemicals which for me, made me realise that my mental health was to some degree out of my control. I really hope you break free of the constricting feelings and give it a go xx lots of love to you

OP I had to post. 48, epileptic and 3 years ago was where you are. Too convinced by the taboo and feeling that if I could just eat right, make better choices I'd be ok. I started on sertraline and life is 100% better. I don't feel spaced out anything, just more together, better able to cope and I cry a normal amount at things instead of needing to lie in bed. I wish Id never delayed taking meds. Nothing changed, just my brain chemicals which for me, made me realise that my mental health was to some degree out of my control. I really hope you break free of the constructing feelings and give it a go xx lots of love to you

Surely it is admitting that you cant cope? But not in a negative way. Just in the same way that someone accepting morphine for a broken leg would be accepting they cant cope without the pain relief. Its no different, it is just acknowledging that you need a bit of extra help. Give yourself a break 😀

It’s not admitting you can’t cope or are a failure. It’s having the strength and power to say this part of my body needs support and doing something about it. If we break a bone we don’t see a cast as failure. If we have a migraine and take meds it’s not a failure. Chemical imbalances happen, taking meds for it shows you have the strength of character to look after yourself. It’s ok, it really is. Talk through the meds with your GP, ask about side affects, and make a measured decision that isn’t clouded by your own internal judgement xx

This its just medication that will make you feel better. There's no shame in it. Just as there is no shame in having a physical illness.

I hope you feel better soon.