Living with Bipolar

Thanks xx I am going to ask if I can go back and work in admin as someone has just left at short notice so although it’s not my role (am in nursing team) maybe I can do that just to be get back into work. The driving is an issue as it would take me an hour and half on and 2 buses but my mate could take me 3 days a week. It’s worth a try x

Just on here to vent a bit. Got a call to go to hospital for surgery this morning on the wrist but then they changed their minds and wanted another go at manipulating it into position. I got gas and air and they pulled it and pressed on it - it was agony! Then got it re plastered and they said it was ‘a bit better’ positioned but not in right place by sounds of it. So they will call tomorrow morning after their consultant meeting and let me know if they are needing to operate.
I just can’t believe how much bad luck I have had this year, the marriage breakdown, leaving my home, trying to get used to living by myself, my bipolar relapse and now this. I’m pretty low in mood but don’t know how to snap out of it as it’s all situational stuff and rationally it would affect anyone. Now that I can’t drive or do diy or knit etc I’m just sitting stewing. And I’m exhausted. I have meeting with gp tomorrow about return to work but I can’t do my job with one functional arm 😖 I’ve had so much time off with the mental health and now this has happened and I’ll get to the point I won’t be paid and will go onto SSP and I have mortgage and all that. It’s so bloody overwhelming 🙁

I’m ok it’s bloody hurts like as was a displaced fracture so all deformed and they had to pull it back into position while i sucked some drug thing that sent me loopy. I’m just gutted as it’s going to limit what I can do but I just need to find stuff to occupy myself
my daughter is 19 and can drive so I’ve insured her for a month and asked her to give me a few lifts x

I’ve fallen off stepladders while cleaning the walls in the new house and broken my wrist. 😖
so now I can’t drive or anything and I’m panicking about how I’m going to cope as lots of things I do for distraction I now can’t do for next 6 weeks. X

I'm in the NHS so a little different. I don't think I would be able to come out of the lab but thank you for the suggestion. I had a much better day on Friday, but it was far less busy.

I'm really glad you were able to find a work solution for you. Being a lab scientist is a stressful job as you need so much focus and concentration!

I met with my new therapist on Thursday and already feemy much more comfortable with him than my old therapist (she wasn't bad at all but it was always at the mental health unit and I have PTSD from my time spent as an inpatient in the past.

I have been out in the garden, and hacked one of the shrubs back. The green waste bin is nearly full, which is my measure of success every fortnight. The anxiety is reducing at last, could be the extra quetiapine and maybe also just time passing. Work is starting to fade away a bit. I'm just glad I don't have to go back.

Ah thank you xxxx I know what you mean, I do feel better if I get on with things but I just feel ‘meh’ a lot of the time. Have ordered a front room carpet and am painting the front room so hopefully it will be a nice relaxing space by this time next week x

I was a lab scientist too! Although in my last job I was in a role that was much more data analytics so 2 days in the lab and 4 weeks in the office working up the results.

I don't know if it would be an reasonable adjustments for you but I have at times been moved out of the lab due to my mental health. During my PhD, I switched to more theoretical aspects for 4 weeks before taking a leave of absence and once I returned from sick leave in a previous job my boss got a colleague to collect the data for me for the first few months. It released the pressure a bit. We only had lab access for 24h at a time so there was quite a bit of pressure to make sure we had done everything that was necessary before we left.

Yeah I got the keys last Wednesday and I moved in this Tuesday so tonight is my fourth day here.
I am finding it difficult to be honest, it needs work doing so I have gone from a new build with loads of space to a 2 up 2 down terrace that’s quite old. I know rationally that it’s a nice house and I am lucky I have some money to get work done but it’s the in between bit where I am living in somewhere not all that relaxing. It’s probably psychological as well tho, being on my own and feeling overwhelmed by all the stuff that needs doing. Hopefully I will start getting a bit more used to it soon and relax a bit. I was hungry so bought a Chinese and when I got in my heart just sank and I didn’t even want to eat it 🙁
it’s such a lot leaving a very long term relationship and having to do it all myself and then the stress about returning to work x

I have a job interview next week for a part time role. It won't pay much but it would do for now and hopefully allow me to build back up in a year otlr two's time. I've worked full time for nearly 20 years, including after having my daughter so I feel a quiet year is in order. But if I don't get it, I'm going temping for a while, so it might be full time hours, but I could take breaks between contracts.

I think it would be feasible for you to work reduced hours for a few weeks and have that on your fit note. Some employers will still pay your full wage (mine does) but I don’t think they are legally obligated. X

I have a GP appointment on Tuesday to do a fitness to work assessment which HR have said I need to have first. Then they will do a report then I will prob have a meeting to discuss going back and the phased return/reasonable adjustments plan.
so I’d guess within the next few weeks.
x

Yes i know what you mean, in the past I've found that sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesn't.
I'm also doing a diploma (equivalent to a masters) which I'm finding difficult to fit in so I'm going to take a break from doing it for now.
Lack of sleep is the worst! Last time i had that i became psychotic. Glad that the trazadone is helping you. Olanzapine has been a game changer for me getting enough sleep. Only problem is that I really struggle to wake up in the morning.
I really hope your return to work goes well. When do you go back?

We have regular breaks and working hours and i work Monday Tuesday Thursday and Friday for the same reason as you. I work in a laboratory so unless I am doing computer work (which is sometimes part of my job) I don't have a spare hand unfortunetly. I do often fiddle with a pen though so this could work when I'm at a computer.

I didn't think of that. Would that class as sick leave, or would I be payed less? I work Monday, Tuesday, Thursday Friday 8-4.30 at the moment.

I think being off has helped in some ways and not in others. I feel that I have kind of had no choice other than to be off as I did try going back and I felt really stressed and basically was hardly sleeping so I just ended up really unwell. That said I think that having too much time on your hands is a tricky one when you then have to fill the time and try not to be ruminating and going down dark holes mentally.
I need to go back soon and I’m a bit scared but hopefully it will work out better this time. I’m on trazodone now as well as quetiapine and to be fair it has improved my sleep a lot. So I’m hoping i don’t go back to the 1 or 2 hours sleep a night 😖
also if i get a few extra breaks and less stress (the extra admin bullshit) maybe I will find it easier x

Regular breaks? Working patterns? Working environment?
I dropped to 4 days a week with Wednesdays off as I couldn't manage more than 2 days in a row.

I find bullet journals based for keeping track of work things and have to pretty much keep verbatim notes in meetings otherwise my concentration wanes.

We had neurodiversity training and on the back of that realised that I definitely work better when fidgeting so I have fidget toys on my desk now.

Would shorter days for a bit help? You could get that on a fit note instead of a full sick note from the GP for a month maybe? So you don't lose touch with people and skills but get more downtime?

Thanks for sharing. I don't think there's anything in my job that technically isn't my job unfortunetly. I probably need to get a bit better at delegating.

I'm thinking that I will ask that some jobs I can ask for help with if I'm drowning. We have one area that used to be a one person job but they've sort of (sometimes) made it a 2 person job so i only want to do it if I have help with it. Another area I think I'd like to only be in it when I'm working with other experienced staff instead of more inexperienced staff members. Thanks for sharing. I don't think there's anything in my job that technically isn't my job unfortunetly. I probably need to get a bit better at delegating.

I'm thinking that I will ask that some jobs I can ask for help with if I'm drowning. We have one area that used to be a one person job but they've sort of (sometimes) made it a 2 person job so i only want to do it if I have help with it. Another area I think I'd like to only be in it when I'm working with other experienced staff instead of more inexperienced staff members.

Sorry you're in a similar situation. Do you feel like the time off sick is helping? I've had a lot of sick time in the past but not sure whether it will help this time as I'll forget how to do things.

Hiya, sorry you’re feeling like this, sounds shit. I also work nhs (technically GP services but in nursing field) and all that you have said I can relate to. So I am off sick at the moment and when I go back I will be asking for a few things such as a few small breaks after every few patients, to work downstairs (am upstairs in own in room that’s dead hot and I sweat like a demon and feel v isolated). Also to not have to deal with medication queries and reauthorisations. Most surgeries you get told to go to admin and get them to do it but ours get us to do it and it really stresses me out sorting emergency scripts and reviews and monitoring so I think it’s reasonable to give that job back to admin. So my point for you on that note is do you end up doing anything that kind of isn’t technically your job and causes you stress? If you do then that would be a good place to start? X

Hi all, I totally forgot about this tread but did post a few times last year when I was having an episode of psychosis. Psychosis and episode free since maybe last September?

Unfortunetly my anxiety has been off the scale, mostly to do with work, although it does seep into other things. Anyone found anything helpful for work anxiety? I do a stressful NHS job and I struggle to remember things due to my meds and they generally just make me slower at things so I really struggle to keep up. I keep getting anxiety attacks but I can hide them from people. I guess it doesn't help being so secretive about things. I have spoken to one of my colleagues who is helpful and I have an occupational health appointment tomorrow. Can anyone suggest some reasonable adjustments that's worked for them? I'm getting to the point of needing to take time off sick but I worry it will be counterproductive.

Sorry to hear from those of you who are struggling. It's a hard life with bipolar 😔