I would rather die then leave, but I can't cope staying

Brilliant news. It's wonderful to read you are being so well supported by your mum & dad. This is all you need until you become independent again with your children. You & your children are safe now.

You are doing so well lovely lady. Keep going towards your happy future. Sending best wishes xx

It's great to hear that you're still safe and planning to return so that you can carry on your life safely. I hope you are speaking to a solicitor who can advise you. It's the family home, so it's your right to be there with the children. You are doing so well. It is so very nearly two weeks since you reached out for help and look what you have achieved.

One moment at a time. You are amazing and we love you.

Thinking of you today OP and wishing you good thoughts.

You are not alone.

Before you know it, it will be a year from now. Two years from now, ten years from now.

Feeling all the feelings is better than feeling dead inside. He is never going to understand. The only person he cares about is him.

Obviously I don't know you but I'm proud of you. Stand your ground. You've got this x

You are doing amazingly!

You may not realise for some time to come, but you are doing incredibly well. Feeling all the feelings is healthy and normal. Keep going.

Sending strength and hugs

Let's just look at the facts -

He treated you like shit
Couldn't hold a conversation with you/purposefully confused you.
He hit you
He doesn't love you - that's not how you treat people you're in love with.

Stay strong. Keep busy. Look after your lovely children and know you had definitely done the right thing.
He didn't make you happy.

Next time he goes to the motorway and threatens with unaliving himself let him be, problem is he’s not going to do it, it’s all emotional blackmail.

Well done! You're doing great!

I am praying for you.

You're doing amazingly well, you really are.

The idea that you leave and everything is wonderful and easy is the work of Hallmark movies. It's tough, painful and hard to adjust to but you're doing it and you will get there.

Massive well done to you,xx

I celebrate you on this wet cold miserable day. You are doing it, by the minute, by the hour, by the day.

There's nothing wrong with 'feeling all the feelings'. That's how we (eventually) get them all out of our system. So feel them, pound pillows, turn on the shower or a loud radio and rage to the skies. Curse, cry, shake your fists. Just do this all privately and of course, do not contact him. The day will come when you can tell him calmly and succinctly just exactly what you think of him, but that day is not today.

Then when you get the feelings all out for now, take a deep breath, dry your lovely eyes, wash your face in cool water, take another deep breath, and do something 'constructive'. Clean a cupboard, wash a baseboard, organize your sock drawer. Balance the 'negative' with a 'positive'.

And it will be over at some point. But it will be over in its own time, with your 'help' by taking small steps. 'A year from now' will be here sooner than you think. But that's for another day. For today, it's one step at a time. And praise yourself for every tiny step and for every day you DON'T call him and DON'T go back.

@Forevertrappedhere

I want you to imagine someone who has been in a severe car crash that wasn't their fault. That person has been in hospital for a long time recovering from their injuries and they are now having to learn to walk again.

They may also be feeling "rage, sadness, frustration, self hatred, despair". But it's not their fault that they have to learn to walk again.

They may also "want to call and rage at him and MAKE the driver of the other car UNDERSTAND what he has done to them.

They may also be consumed with guilt at going out in the car that day. Maybe it was just for a drive, maybe it was to pick up a bottle of milk from the shop and they could have walked.

Maybe they also have sense of WTF.

This is normal. And it's healthy. Better to feel the feels than bottle them up.

Most importantly, please recognise that THIS WAS DONE TO YOU. It wasn't your fault. It didn't just happen. He knew exactly what he was doing and he will do it again, either to you if you go back (please don't) or to someone new.

And he'll be pissed off that he's got to spend another two years lovebombing and undermining and isolating and making her dependent before he has a completely compliant woman he can rape and abuse.

This was not your fault.
You are learning to walk again and you are frustrated that you can't do it immediately.
It will take time. But you will get there.
Take all the support you can get.
Pamper yourself.
You deserve better.

And you are so strong because you have escaped. Keep going.

You're amazing and we love you ❤️

Such a brilliant update. Well done you! One day soon you’ll be one of those people who can talk about this in past tense. What freedom lies ahead for you.

So great to hear. The child in me wishes my mum had your strength 🙏❤️

You've been in my thoughts

Do you know, I read the first few sentence of your post, then went to the loo and had the thought, "I want to tell her I will pray for her". I've come back and just finished reading your post to see what you asked!

Yes I shall.

Go gently.

Yes. Good for you OP. One step at a time Glad you have some RL support lined up.

Such a nice update OP
Well done for reaching out for support and connection!
You are showing more and more strength each day

OP, you are doing amazingly well, I am so, so glad you have stuck to your guns. Your children are very lucky that they have you and that you put them first.