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Original poster

Have just found out my mum has cancer

39 replies

amynSaintnixmum · 08/12/2004 10:36

My mum found a lump in her breast a couple of months ago and yesterday evening - after weeks of waiting - we found out that she has cancerSad. I am so scared and angry I just dont know what to do with myself. Everyone keeps pointing out that the survival rate for breast cancer is high and that she'll probably be fine and I know that they are probably right but I am feeling very wobbly at the moment. Sometimes it feels as if everything comes at once and I really dont feel like I can cope with it all. In october my sister had to take a greivence against the company she works for for sexual discrimination (amongst other things). Last week all the internal investigations were completed and the result went against her. She is now faced with taking this huge multi-national company to court and is so stressed about it all that she has had to be signed off work and given valium. Also in October my 4 year old ds was excluded from school for the first time, he was then excluded again in november and is still only doing one hour a day in school (two adults and him out of the classroom) and this will continue after xmas. And now to top it all off the lump we had all convinced ourselves was benign turned out to be malignant.

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tammylove · 08/12/2004 17:39

((((HUGS))))
I know how you feel Amy. My mom had cancer two and a half years ago. She had Hodgkins disease and also has an excellent survival rate.

We kept been told she will be ok and she was. She had an op and chemo and has been clear almost two years now.

You will feel very sad, wobbly and very low, but you will find your strength and in that your mom will get hers and beat it.

You can do this be strong. If you want to ask me anything please feel free or you can email me.

NoMoomAtTheInn · 08/12/2004 17:04

So sorry to hear this amynnixmum. Please accept (((()))) and loads of good wishes for your mum and all your family xxx

snowdonim · 08/12/2004 17:01

I'm sorry to hear about your bad news and wish your mum all the best with her treatment.

DelGirlsRingAreYouListening · 08/12/2004 16:42

Glad to hear you're getting more than just virtual support Smile

Original poster
amynSaintnixmum · 08/12/2004 16:41

Thanks DelGirl - kitty came over last night with chocs and wine to cheer me up. She is a great friendGrin

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DelGirlsRingAreYouListening · 08/12/2004 16:38

So sorry to hear your news Sad. If you need any help, with anything at all, then please CAT me, ok. Or Kitty has my email addy. (((((Hugs)))))

Original poster
amynSaintnixmum · 08/12/2004 16:30

Nativity was great and dd was indeed very goodGrin I was very proud and emotional - only sad thing was seeing all ds friends from reception coming in and going on stage as stars, angels and snowflakes when ds was not even allowed to watch let alone be in the playSad. It was good to see my sis and have a big cuddle too.

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MariNativityPlay · 08/12/2004 13:37

AmynSaintnixmum, really sorry to hear about this on top of the other stresses your family are under right now. Hoping for a swift start to you mum's treatment and a good outcome. {{{Hugs}}}

spacedonkey · 08/12/2004 13:04

Sad Really sorry to hear your news amynnixmum, big hugs x

katzguk · 08/12/2004 12:46

hi

I'm so sorry to here your news

i have just been through this for the last 2 years with my MIL.

I have to say if the treatment they are offering is radiotherapy then her prognosis is good. In worse cases they do chemo first then radio.

PamiNativity · 08/12/2004 12:42

(((hugs))) from me - I know exactly how you are feeling, because my mum has also got cancer. I remember feeling like I'd been punched in the stomach when I first found out and being near to tears for ages afterwards.
Hope all goes well with the treatment.

Enjoy the nativity - it will take your mind of things, I'm sure.

Original poster
amynSaintnixmum · 08/12/2004 12:40

Thanks everyone for all the messages of supportSmile. Its being able to pour my heart out on mn that means I am able to be strong for my mum and dad so that they can lean on me instead of propping me up. Thanks also for all the positive stories - We have to keep beleiving it will be ok otherwise I dont think any of us would cope and xmas would be awful. Am seeing dd in nativity this afternoon - she is angel Gabriel and the star of the show apparentlyGrin. I am going with my sister so that should cheer us both upGrin

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WigWamBam · 08/12/2004 12:24

I'm so sorry to hear that. My dad is being treated for testicular cancer at the moment, so I can understand at least partly how you feel. It's normal to feel scared and angry, but I think it's important that you try not to show your mum how scared you feel. I know it's a difficult time for all of you, but someone said to me that the best thing that I and my dad could do was to keep positive - I know it's a bit of a cliche but it's true.

One MNer suggested that I contact \link{http://www.cancerbacup.org.uk/Home\CancerBacup}, and their website is excellent. Support and information is available there if you need it.

Sending hugs

GingerBells · 08/12/2004 12:21

\link{http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/Home\breastcancer care}

Thecattlearemerloting · 08/12/2004 12:17

We went through this last year with my mum. The word `cancer' is just so scary isnt it?

My mum had the surgery, radiotherapy and chemotherapy, none of which were pleasant - she was particularly anxious about the chemo (I didnt even know that it was a type of dr*g therapy I thought you sort of got zapped (more like radiotherapy) iykwim!) - but in the event it wasnt anywhere near as bad as she thought it would be.

She has just been given the all clear (smile) and is on tamoxifen too.

Best of luck and love to you all

hollybet · 08/12/2004 12:15

My freinds mum has jsut had her breast off and after the op was told that she needed no other treatment, she is doing great there are so many success stories on here and in the 'real world' - please take heart from them. Sending you loads of hugs and prayers.

SantaClausfrau · 08/12/2004 12:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ItllBeLonelymumThisChristmas · 08/12/2004 12:11

So sorry. This must be on everyone's lists of nightmares. And just before Christmas too and on top of your other family worries. Can't think of anything to say, but try to stay strong for your mum and dad, and think positively. I firmly believe a positive outlook helps as much as anything else.

Hulababy · 08/12/2004 12:10

(((hugs))) Really sorry about your news. Thinking of you. Really hope all turns out well.

GingerBells · 08/12/2004 12:09

hugs.
My friend was 32 when she found her lump. I cried for a week. She was quite calm about it but her husband was in pieces and I am glad I was there to support him. She is clear now, and looking forward to her 40th birthday this year.

There have been other similar threads - there are a couple of good websites where you can get all the facts and support. I will have a look.

JanH · 08/12/2004 12:03

Another positive story for you - I found a lump myself almost exactly 4 years ago. There turned out to be 2; I had a lumpectomy, 6 months of chemo and 4 weeks of radiotherapy. Still here, still doing fine, now signed off from regular oncology check-ups and just having 6-monthly breast clinic ones and an annual mammogram.

I'm so sorry this has come on top of all your other worries, and I remember how anxious my family felt when we first found out. Like your mother I was quite calm, it was just something to be got through - I think it is actually harder for everybody else to deal with. I hope she is lucky too. Hugs.

StuffTheMagicTurkey · 08/12/2004 11:35

So sorry to hear this, what a difficult time you are having.

My aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer about three years ago. She had a lumpectomy and (I think) follow up radiotherapy. She has been fine ever since, takes a drug called tamoxifen? which I think is to help stop the cancer returning. Plus she has a 6 monthly mammogram.

Just thought I'd post a positive story related to cancer, I know it can feel so scary.

Original poster
amynSaintnixmum · 08/12/2004 11:30

Thanks so much for all the hugs and support - it really helps to be able to talk to people. Thanks for those links snowvary.

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TumbleflumpDancingBum · 08/12/2004 11:28

amynSaintnixmum - words cannot express how much, I am sure everyone is thinking of you at this moment in time, take one step and one day at a time, take time out for your self and do deep breaths when you feel things are going too fast, everything will work the way it is supposed to..love and best wishes xx

snowvary · 08/12/2004 11:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.