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Original poster

How much longer do I have to feel like this?

365 replies

Depressedmum32 · 14/10/2004 10:29

Can some one give some advice please, I just recently gave birth to my 4th baby and for the rist month I felt fantastic and was flying round doing everything. Iwas so wired that one night I was cleaning my windows at 5am after feeding ds!!!Then I started to feel ill, like I had the flu, kept feelomg dizzy and this went on for couple of weeks before I collapsed with chest pain and was rushed to hospital. Was told I had a blood clot on my ling and spent the whole weekend feeling hysterical, had to stop breastfeeding as I was on blood thinners. Cried cos I missed my children so much and thought I was going to die. Then they told me I had no blood clot just pleurisy and sent me home. I first felt relieved to be home and with children but after a couple of days I started to have Panic attacks for no reason, I was just suddenly get this rush of fear and feel terrified. Then I started waking up in the night with my heart racing hystarical with fear, so eventually I was on;y getting 1 hours sleep a night. During the day I was sitting around thinking of all the things I could drop dead from and then 2 weeks ago I suddenly felt wierd, A sense of unreality which terrified me even more. Kept going to the docs where they diagnosed pnd and prescribed ad's. Referred to cpn but no appt till oct 26th. Refused to take the ad's as I was so scared of all the possible awful side effects and convinced myself I just needed to sleep.Dh took a few days off work and I did feel a bit better after getting some rest in the day, but sleep at night. non existant. When I did go to sleep, I kept having awful dreams and waking up. Hv came on monday and said I had to take the cipralex just to lift me enough to the things that would make me feel better.Started on 5mg as Isuffer from panic and immediately the panic became worse, so the second night could only get to sleep with the aid of sleeping tabs. I am now day 4 and I feel wrethched, nauseas and panicky, still feel dazed as though I am not really here and that frightens me. Didnt feel depressed until I started to feel wierd, its the wierdness the t depresses me, is this normal pnd? I just want to feel human again.

OP posts:
mumwithnoname · 01/11/2004 13:27

Thanks patduk, been talking to one of them for the last 1 1/2 hours. Not sure anything is sorted but i do feel a bit better. got a lot off our chests! Not seen my other friend as she's working, but I'll try and see her tonight. Just don't like difficult conversations and I don't think I'm gonna like what she has to say!! But don't like feeling like this either!

Spacecadet · 01/11/2004 12:42

mwnn I think patDUK has given you some excellent advice there girl.

Spacecadet · 01/11/2004 12:40

Thank you too miam

Lonelymum · 01/11/2004 12:05

Thanks Miam

miam · 01/11/2004 11:23

SC, Lonelymum and MWNN, I just wanted to let you know that although I have not posted on this thread (which I feel guilty about!) due to you already having had such marvellous advice and support and me not having anything to add, I have been keeping track and wanted to add my sympathies and support. xxx

PatDUK · 01/11/2004 11:01

MWNN - Two options...

Either these "friends" have turned their back on you in your hour of need and are not worth having - dump them and move on

OR

These friends don't want to try and mend their relationship with you via texts and emails - you've said they both wanted to talk to you, but you couldn't face them.

Have they turned their back on you, or do they just want to TALK?

Texting, emailing, sending ecards and these types of forums all have their place - it's fab to have anonymous friends that don't really know us and share our woes with. Trouble is, sometimes we need to face our firends in person, and thats when it's hard.

You said you deleted their phone nos from your mobile - why then did you email? Sure it's easier than face to face, but it's the same as texting.

Hope you're ok girl - and you can either bin them and move on or face up to them and heal the hurt.

Good Luck

Pat

mumwithnoname · 01/11/2004 10:49

yes.

Spacecadet · 01/11/2004 08:46

Thats not a very nice thing to do when all you were trying to do was a pologise.Are they really worth the hassle? sorry.

mumwithnoname · 01/11/2004 07:10

Third night with no sleep. Got work this am.Sent my friends an E card saying "sorry" last night. Got an E.mail back off one saying "I will not commuicate by txt email or e card only in person"
I was only trying to say "sorry"! It feels like shes ripped the card up and sent it back.

Spacecadet · 31/10/2004 22:43

Mumwithnoname so sorry you are feeling so down, I dont know how to help, just send me another email and let me know you are ok.

Lonelymum · 31/10/2004 18:34

We have only had one call so far tonight and, having talked about it beforehand with the children, we all just ignored the call. Hopefully that will be it this year.

Spacecadet · 31/10/2004 18:33

We dont answer the door after 7 as they are usually older ones who arenry really dresses up who usually want money as opposed to sweets.

kkgirl · 31/10/2004 17:58

Mumwithnoname

Don't you think though that half term and school holidays are a lot harder. I found the summer holidays a real struggle keeping the children entertained and apart was really hard and very tiring.

MummyToSteven · 31/10/2004 17:57

Hi MWNN. Sounds like it could well be the combined effect of missing ADs and the stress of having the kids underfoot all day that could have been getting you down then, so I guess see how it goes once the kids are back at school, and you've got back taking them regularly. I know that when I skip a Prozac, I defo feel it the next day or so.

Re:tolerance to ADs. I have only seen anecdotal mentions of that - people on websites saying that things stop working so well after a few years, which isn't necessarily reliable evidence. I have asked my psychiatrist about that isse, as it was suggested that I continue on Prozac for 18 months to 2 years after I feel completely symptom free of OCD, to prevent relapse and he didn't think there would be any problem with them stopping working - he said that they didn't "work that way".

mumwithnoname · 31/10/2004 17:48

Thought of going back to doc two weeks ago, but then I had a few good days so i didn't! think half term got to me this week as well as friend trouble! don't know if you can become resistant to ads over time does anyone know?(also cos i've been out of sink over the hols i've forgot to take the darn things on a few occasions!)

MummyToSteven · 31/10/2004 17:16

Hi MWNN. sorry that you are having such a tough time atm. you sound quite down atm. has something happened to trigger this? have you altered your medication in anyway. as it has gone on for a few weeks, it might be worth going back to the docs to see if they have any further ideas as to how best help you through this patch.

MummyToSteven · 31/10/2004 17:05

Hi SC, that's really good that you made it to Argos, and very good that rather than just go straight into panic mode, you could remember to deep breathe to try and get out of it. my problem with all these techniques with breathing etc to reduce anxiety is always getting so stressed that I would completely forget to do them.

MummyToSteven · 31/10/2004 17:03

no religious principles whatsoever but not keen on the whole idea of trick or treating/people in scary costumes knocking at the door, so you all have my sympathies on this one. in our last home we had to go out at Halloween as the local kids would chuck stones at our windows on normal nights, so didn't want to have think what they might do on Halloween to wind us up if we were in.

mumwithnoname · 31/10/2004 16:10

We do give trick or treaters sweets, ds1(15) says we shouldn't but dd(16) and ds2(6) love answering the door. DH thinks we sholud ignore it but as most of them are neighbours kids i feel rather mean, Do feel rather two faced though! There is an unhalloweewn party at m&d's church but ds2 doesn't want to go (and as he was throwing up most of last night i think it'd be a bad move! So don't really know what to do!!

Lonelymum · 31/10/2004 13:20

We don't do it either. I am not looking forward to the rings on the doorbell tonight as the kids all want to answer the door and I just want to ignore it. What to do?

mumwithnoname · 31/10/2004 13:18

well done on argos SC! 'fraid we're very grumpy christians that don't "Do" halloween (or should that just be "too tight!"?)However I'm a total hypocrit and DS2 was at friends last night who just happened to be having a party!But atleast it gets me out of trick or treating!

Lonelymum · 31/10/2004 13:03

Mumwithnoname - I know a little how you feel. My mother once complained that I never rang her up unless I was depressed or someone was ill (she is a doctor so there is a lifelong tendency in me to ring when I need professional advice). It lives with me to this day and I find it hard now to ring her when anything is wrong, which is daft because one should be able to ring ones mother in times of crisis. Friends should be available too, but perhaps we can lean on them too much. That is the beauty of Mumsnet I think. You can post a complaint or a moan, and if no-one wants to reply, they aren't under any obligation to do so. Those that do answer, you usually feel must care enough to do so. Keep posting to Mumsnet and give your friends a little break if you think you have been overburdening yourself to them.

Titania · 31/10/2004 13:00

MWNN........we are your friends!!!

Spacecadet.....you did really well to get out.....there is no way I am leaving home today.....ds1 is pestering for a pumpkin but I haven't even bought one yet......

Spacecadet · 31/10/2004 12:44

Aww, Im sure thats not true! I have just braved it to argos today to replace my house phone, what NIGHTMARE!!! packed to the gills u would think itbwas xmas eve.I started to feel panicky waiting in the queue but breathed slowly was glad to get out of there and hurried home,Kids in tow whinging that they wouldnt me to buy halloween costumes so I yelled at ds1 " wear a bloody bin bag like everyone else!" in the centre of town, got home phoned dh up and told him I hated him for working on sumdays.I have got to take all of them out trick or treating tonight with baby in tow aswell.

mumwithnoname · 31/10/2004 11:58

in that case i'm not sure i've got any!
Present company excepted that is!