How much longer do I have to feel like this?

That's really good news sc - a great step forward for you. Hope it all goes well and that you are ok today. xxx

I have my first appt next thurs, fingers crossed.

£25 sounds like really good value. Good luck with it sc .

excellent SC. CBT was the best thing I ever did. good luck

Good news SC - Hope it all goes well! Let me know how you get on with it. £25 sounds v good.
Kizziex

Hope it works for you SC. Thinking of you!!!

I hhave decided not to wait 18 months to see a therapist and have engaged the services of a counseller who specialises in cbt, she charges £25 an hour which I think is pretty good.

Hi MtoS - I think CBT is used by different therapists in different ways. The enjoyment/mastery thing was explained to me by one in particular and then I found out more about it in a book. I think its for when things are really bad and I try and use it when Im really in a pit and finding it really difficult to do anything.
Kizziex

that's interesting kizzie, i have not come across doing it in that detailed a way before. when it was explained to me, it was more a case of just keeping track of all the things you had achieved in a day, so that instead of focussing on negatives, i would look on the positive - i have fed and changed s, i have done the laundry etc.

Thanks Kizzie that sounds like good advice, will try it.

Hi SC - sorry youve been feeling so low. It does sound like you are v tired. Although its good to be trying the exercise etc maybe you are just doing too much.
In CBT the 'behavioural (sp?) bit' says that you should keep an activity diary. Apologies if you've read this before but thought it was worth writing down.
You basically write yourself a list of things to do (everything from getting dressed to doing the shopping or meeting a friend.) you then give each a mark for 1/ enjoyment and 2/mastery.

For enjoyment you basically go into it not expecting anything to make you feel great but hoping that things might just make you feel less bad. So if something just passes a bit of time and stops you feeling so desperate then you might mark it with say a 3 out of 10. If you feel any spark of enjoyment then you might give it a 5.

For mastery you judge something on how much you've achieved. So washing up might not give you any enjoyment but it might lift you slightly because you dont feel so useless for letting the house get into such a state.

Sorry - thats not very well explained - hope it makes some kind of sense.

I really hope this week is a bit easier.
Kizziex

SC - Maybe you are overdoing things. They do seem to have you going to a lot of different activities. Perhaps you're getting too tired. Try to have a good rest over the weekend - if thats possible!

Sorry to hear you feel so low sc. Depression can be so unpredictable and frustrating - two steps forward, one step back. Hope you pick up.

Its strange the things that tip us over the edge when depression hit! Hang on in there S,things will improve.

LOL

sorry to hear that sc. what's been happening? is it connected to the feelings of broodiness that you mentioned yesterday???

went to bed crying last night, didnt think I could get much lower, seriously considering whether there is any point in going on.

hhmm, wots going on? is my ill brain playing tricks on me?today I found myself crying because I wished I was pregnant again!!! eeekk!! I have 4 kids, pnd and dd of 17 weeks , this cant be normal, is it part of the depression?

I hope so kizzie, Today i went to the gym in a desperate attempt to lift my mood but it didnt work, I just felt desperately sad instead, I also feel v tired and groggy today...sigh...

Hi spacecadet - glad you managed to get a bit of a lift at the weekend. im in a similar situation at the moment. had a better few days but then came down again. From past experience though the better day then becomes a better few days and then better few weeks - rather than suddenly just feeling better. Hope things keep going in right direction!!
Kizziex

Im not cured yet! but thanks for asking kizzie, Over the last few days I ahve been kept busy with the verious support groups I have to go to! I felt great over the weekend but sadly could feel the dark clouds coming down on mon and all the panicky feelings coming back so am keeping busy to take my mind of things( thinking about xmas etc) and have taken to putting calssic fm on in my bedroom at night to relax.Sadly had no sleep last night as got my period and had to get up every hour in the night to change,

Hi Spacecadet - just wondered how things are going - its a few days since you posted on this thread.
Kizziex

Well last night was probably the best nights sleep I had in ages still feel very tired and drowsy but its manageble, went to anxiety class yesterday and sat there blubbing because everything she said was sooo relevant to me.Told her how deeply depressed I was and she said people that suffer from panic disorder can become deeply depressed because the constant negative thinking causes you to become "inverted".I told her that I feel almost as if I have brain damage because my brain wont work properly and feels like its shrouded in cement, everything feels so scary and life doesnt always feel worth living.She said that these symptoms will lift to some extent once I can learn to deal witht the anxiety.She pointed out that she cant cure us..sigh!!..but she can give us the tools to help us to help ourselves..heres hoping..

Glad you're getting some sleep sc.

Hi SC - im on a low dose tricyclic now and they really knocked me out at first. Will wear off eventually.
Kizziex

Just sending some more {{{hugs}}} they always help me so I hope they help you too!!