Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Original poster

Quivering Mess

93 replies

spacemonkey · 08/10/2004 11:33

I am a quivering mess today. Don't really know why I'm posting this, I suppose this is one place I feel able to "talk". I've been off work for a month and my doctor prescribed prozac but they haven't worked. My mum spoke to my gp on monday and they sent the crisis team to my house to see me. They recommended another month off work and doubled my dose of ADs and gave me some valium. They also liaised with my gp on my behalf and she said she would refer me for counselling. I felt better for a day or two but am now feeling much worse again. And for some stupid reason I can't get myself to the doctor to get my prescriptions. My ds cried this morning and said he didn't want to go to school so I have both my kids at home and no food in the house. I have to wash myself and get dressed and go shopping and the thought of doing that is making me shake. I feel pathetic. Please can someone tell me to pull myself together and do what has to be done. I'm an intelligent woman, I know what I have to do and that in theory I can do it, none of it is that hard, but I feel like crying all the time, I'm shaking and my body feels really really heavy. I slept nearly all day yesterday, then all night and if I went back to bed now I would sleep again, but I'm forcing myself to stay up. HELP! Someone please tell me I'm not mad.

OP posts:
tigermoth · 09/10/2004 07:09

spacemonkey, this thread has made me smile and well up with tears (and now I feel so satisfyingly knowledgeable about Charles Hawtry) I hope today is a bit easier for you.

I posted some secondary school looking advice for you on another thread and I probably sounded quite organised and together - and I was! But yeasterday I flipped. I spent the whole day close to tears, felt totally overloaded with stress. Everyone I was with that day (colleagues, husband) saw something was wrong with me and tried to sit me down and make me feel better. It's been a hell of a week - worrying about secondary school choice, exams, falling behind with primary school work and meetings, very busy at work, stress over the temporary nature of my job, various home crisis, lots of urgent journeys all over south london, afterschool childcare arrangements in a mess, husband has toothache and won't go to dentist without lots of prodding, and when our cat became ill again yesterday and needed to the vet for yet more expensive treatment it was the final straw. I was surprised how bad it made me feel as I see myself as coping well, able to plan and rationalise and get on top of things. It made me realise that I can only take so much, I am not immune from stress, it can happen to anyone given the circumstances.

Please don't feel bad about feeling bad. I know your ADs etc are making you feel wierd at the moment, so it must be much harder for you, but I hope the effects get better pdq and you have some fab people online and in real life this weekend who will get you through this.

DelGirl · 08/10/2004 19:03

Yes, that's a prob. At the time when you prob most feel like one, you can't. There's always Eisberg eeuuukkk.

Original poster
spacemonkey · 08/10/2004 19:01

Yes I believe they do still sell skol, amazingly. No I didn't bring back any drinkies from barcelona, I'm not drinking anything at all at the moment for fear of it making me more mental.

OP posts:
DelGirl · 08/10/2004 19:00

skol????? do they still sell it? Did you not bring some nice drinkies back from Barthelona?

Original poster
spacemonkey · 08/10/2004 18:59

I shall use my dowry to buy each and every mumsnetter a nice can of skol

OP posts:
DelGirl · 08/10/2004 18:58

monkey's eat banana's don't they? Use some of the promised dosh to treat yourself to lots of your favourite food.

marthamoo · 08/10/2004 18:58

One last (((HUG))) then...

Original poster
spacemonkey · 08/10/2004 18:58

I won't be back on tonight. I just want to thank everybody for helping me to feel better today. You don't know how much your messages have helped me and even managed to make me smile. I love mumsnet X

OP posts:
marthamoo · 08/10/2004 18:57

There's a good squirrel

Original poster
spacemonkey · 08/10/2004 18:56

I'm just about to venture out to forage for nuts and berries now.

OP posts:
marthamoo · 08/10/2004 18:55

Have you got some food yet?

Original poster
spacemonkey · 08/10/2004 18:55

thanks DG, I'm feeling a little strange, but am definitely better. Tend to feel worse first thing in the morning. The weirdness with my ex husband is most bizarre, it's had the effect of short circuiting my brain!

OP posts:
lou33 · 08/10/2004 18:52

and me. Please thank him from me for really cheering me up today....

DelGirl · 08/10/2004 18:52

Hope you're feeling a little better tonight SM, even with (or despite) the Hattie Jacques bed bath and Chas & Dave singalong a la Lou styly

Original poster
spacemonkey · 08/10/2004 18:52

i shall text him back to thank him for giving me the best laugh i've had in years

OP posts:
lou33 · 08/10/2004 18:51

He must be on drugs, he obviously thinks he is living in the tudor times, and is in fact henry the 8th, therefore settling upon you a rather large dowry, ready for your next husband.

Original poster
spacemonkey · 08/10/2004 18:50

I'm sure hallucinogens must be involved somewhere, the man is a mentalist. No wonder I'm mental.

OP posts:
marthamoo · 08/10/2004 18:48

And you think you're mad, sm? What is he on? Take it though

lou33 · 08/10/2004 18:38

That works out at 0.032p per day. How generous. Let's open a party barrel of ale and party!

Original poster
spacemonkey · 08/10/2004 18:35

this day gets weirder and weirder

my ex husband has texted me offering me a payment of £200 as a "goodwill gesture" for being "a shit husband"

eh?

thanks for all your messages of support

OP posts:
marthamoo · 08/10/2004 18:26

I'm glad to hear it

I'm off out tonight but you two take care of each other, OK?

lou33 · 08/10/2004 18:25

Moo...

OOMPAPAPA OOMPAPAPA

Tabard and mop slippers are on as we speak...

cat82 · 08/10/2004 17:29

Hey Spacemonkey

Big hugs to you hon. I've had depression, been on ad's etc, and in your posistion, so can completly understand. You can and will get through this. I know it's hard, and you can't imagine you will, but you will believe me.
You are not mad, nowhere near it, just (as has been said before) having a very hard time at the minute.

Your kids will be fine, they're much tougher than we think. Think about you for now, relax as much as you can and be kind to yourself. You know you've got depression and need some support and you found it. That's the first step, and one of the hardest.

Keep talking to mumsnet, your GP, your mum. You can even contact me through CAT if you like. I truly hope you feel better soon.

Take care

xxx

marthamoo · 08/10/2004 16:49

Lou, you need to get your tabard on too.

Woman in a tabard....

lou33 · 08/10/2004 16:42

You need to get podgy on the hifi and listen to putyerfeetup, while wearing your tabard sm. I will call you shortly for a singalong, chas and dave stylee.