I do think the Jews need a safe Jewish homeland and that, regardless of how it came into being, everyone needs to accept Israel is here to stay.
I do think the Palestinians were hard done by and have a legitimate grievance.
There is also the reality on the ground, that has to be recognised.
So, how do you reconcile the above?
The international community should put pressure on Israel not to expand and further. They have no need of it and it is illegal under international law. Everyone needs to start talking seriously about a comprehensive and permanent two state solution. That should include Israel withdrawing from some more recent settlements. They have done this before.
Maximalist demands about sharing the land equally and Palestine having an army are pointless and a distraction. You might as well say that Native Americans should share New York 50/50 and raise an army. It’s just not going to happen.
Equally, Israeli maximalist demands of settling Gaza or the West Bank should be strongly deterred by the western world. There is no realistic argument for them gaining this land.
Israel needs to understand that encouraging trade and joint venture with a (quasi) independent (as in no army) Palestine is the best way to ensure no terrorism and an end to perpetual army service for their youth. Rich people who cooperate with each other are unlikely to fight. Look at the EU, a war seems almost inconceivable now.
And maybe one day there could be a voluntary union between Palestine and Israel and one army for all. Seems idealistic, but who would have thought about Germany and France discussing a joint army in 1946. These things take time and realism.