How did you decide which surname to use?

Do you not want to have the same surname as your child? Traditionally children took the mother's surname. That only happened to be the father's name if they were married and mum had taken on his name.

is there something wrong with being adopted?

We did the same - never any question that they would have both. They are 50% of both of us. It made for a long and complicated name to spell when DT’s were learning to write and doesn’t always fit into forms with a limited amount of space!

My surname is horrible so my kids have partners name. This has caused no issues at all.

Be careful about using the “traditional” argument though. It really was only traditional for children born “out of wedlock” in the UK and was intended to make sure that the child had absolutely no right to anything its father had. There were a few other circumstances where a woman was higher status than the man but they were quite rare. I am vociferous about children having their mother’s last name, but the argument from tradition is a dodgy place to stand!

Not at all, I meant that DD was young and thought she was being cheeky. It was her way of saying they were nothing alike. No offence intended, apologies if caused any. It’s tricky when you’re just recalling a child’s humour

That’s your choice, and I’m glad women have choice.

My choice is that hell would freeze over before I’d have a different surname from my child. Especially important when they’re tiny, for nursery, school, and when travelling. And after that, to make the clear point that they are my family and priority.

Me and DP double-barrelled our DD’s surname, and we’ll all be double barrelled when we get married.

I feel strongly about names because of weird and confusing stuff that happened with mine as a child. I want names to be a constant and anchor and reliable source of identity for my DD.

We gave our DC my DH surname, we weren’t married at the time but knew we were going to be in the next few years. I also knew I wanted his surname so it made it an easy decision

We thought they should be their own people, so we gave them a new surname altogether using letters of our surnames. We came up with something that was fantastic. Kids are very happy with their surname, very proud of it and has never been an issue. As adults we have asked them what would have been their preference if they had a choice initially, and all have said the surname we gave them rather than one or both of ours. The one thing they all said was how important it was to them that they all had the same surname, so I guess if we had of had just one child then maybe it would not have worked out as it did, or it may have, not sure.

My choice is that hell would freeze over before I’d have a different surname from my child. Especially important when they’re tiny, for nursery, school, and when travelling. And after that, to make the clear point that they are my family and priority

As above, DH and I both had different surnames to our kids, yet we had none of these issues you claim. It wasn’t important in any of those settings, nor medical settings just to complete that Bingo card. Our kids understood we were family and they were our priority, that didn’t hinge on a surname😑.

I got married and took DH’s name (I honestly didn’t care either way but he felt strongly, plus I’ve always wanted my family to share a surname), so our DD naturally has DH’s surname.

Sister never married, but had a child with her then-long term partner. Gave them dad’s surname, acrimonious split and she regretted it ever since. She had a child many years later with her now partner, not married, and have give that child both surnames (she was adamant she was not having her child without her name).

Other sister had a child with her then-partner. They double-barrelled the child’s surname from the start, which means they still share a surname despite no longer being together.

Both sisters had their surname first, but tbh it sounds better that way anyway (as the second surnames are both short).

No hyphens necessary. Just use both.

You don’t have to double barrel them, my children have both names, no hyphen, they only use the last one day to day and it’s no hassle. It did mean there was no issue with them travelling with just me as my name is on their passports, not just their dads.

It was a long time ago now and conventions were different.
The child should have its mother's surname.

I'd have hated to be in the position some find themselves in where DC1 , DC2 and DM all have different surnames but it wouldn't mean the DM loved them less.

Absolutely this. I’d say about half of DS’s class uses both parents’ surnames.

I liked changing my name. We all have DH's surname.
I love family history and geneology.

It is unusual but interesting to see families carry on the female surname long ago.

I would make sure baby’s name is same as mums so much easier for school etc and hospital / doctors dads name as a middle name

We did the same. Child is known in school/clubs by just the last surname but legally has the two.

I’d changed my name on marriage (wasn’t keen on my maiden name) so we had the same surname but if I hadn’t they’d have had my surname. No way would my kids have had a different surname to me

Are you married, or wish to get married and change to his surname in the future? My sister was the latter so she gave her daughter the father’s name and then she changed her name to his surname when they married a few years later so not they all share a name. It’s easier than changing the child’s name after marriage if you give her your surname and then change yours anyway. Obviously not relevant if you don’t want to marry or take his name.

Our DDs have my surname and DH's surname as a second middle name.

DH prefers my name to his, (half considered changing his name when we got married) so this was an easy decision.

We did vaguely discuss giving girls my name and boys his, but in the event we had two girls anyway.

My DC have their dad's surname. I prefer it to mine and the two names don't double barrel nicely.

FWIW I've never had a single issue with schools/doctors/hospitals/flights etc related to me not having the same surname as DC.

There is no way I would have a different last name from my child.

This. Just my personal opinion (so feel free to ignore!) but I think that it's better for a family to share the same name - it doesn't matter who's name it is though, Mum's / Dad's / a combination of both.

Then the first one will be assumed as a middle name and never used, thats what happened with my surname
for my daughter, massive mistake and not allowed to change it now

Can you smoosh the surnames together to make a new one eg

Harris and Davison becomes Harrison
Ardern and Bertram becomes Ardram
Lindsay and Fox becomes Lindfox