Mum friend took the piss????

Of course she should pay her own way, regardless of whether you are saving for IVF or not. I'm not sure what that has to do with it tbh, it's none of her business.

Who was doing and paying the friend's share, your dm? Because it's not fair of your dm to be fine with it and then expect YOU to pay for her friend, so I'd be annoyed at my dm as well!

Exactly. Hence me voting YABU.

Sounds a bit bossy that though.

I think you should message her now with a breezy message - “Hi Rose. Now we’re all back home I’ve had a look at the food expenses for the trip. It works out that you owe £xx for your share. My bank details are ….. My credit card goes out on 7 Nov so I’ll need it before then. Thanks. “

Your mother is a key part of the problem, inviting the lazy friend, brushing off the problems. Both of them are taking you for a ride. No more holidays with either of them!

Id be mad too.
Since your mum is ok with it, the two of them should holiday without you in future.

I actually think your mum is the issue here, it’s her friend, and if friend is not coughing up then your mum should be paying on her behalf, if she doesn’t want to make the friend pay.

If your mum thinks that what her friend did was fine, I'd ask your mum to pay you her friend's share of the holiday.

Your mum's friend is a cheeky fucker but your mum condones her behaviour and doesn't back you up.

Alternatively, just stop going on holiday with either of them.

I think you have to write out all the expenses you've incurred and send your Mum and her friend a copy stating that you'd like to receive their 1/3 share by the end of this month.

Make this the last time you go on holiday with either of them.

Then follow through OP.
Send her a message telling her what she owes you. You have every right

to do that. In fact it’s poor of you not to. She needs to know more clearly and without any doubt, exactly where she stands.
You allowed her to get away with it last year. That sent her a clear message unfortunately. She thought she could get away with it again.
It’s wrong of you to complain loud and clear to others but not to her.

Have your say honestly from your point of view so that she can respond honestly from her point of view.

This. You said you paid for the caravan and she didn't offer anything towards it. You should have asked then. If you / your mum were cooking and cleaning you should have told her it's her turn etx.

What exactly did she do / say? Did she just refuse? Or did she say she would then didn't do it so you just cooked for her like a doormat? She's a CF but you've let her do that.

You say your mum didn't mind as much. Was it you or your mum subbing her or both?

just grow a spine and ask her to pay the amount she owes you

Depends on the situation, if we were booking to go away with someone I’d except them to pay for their share, but if id invited them as a guest I wouldn’t really expect them to contribute. Maybe like a bottle of wine or do the dishes etc. Did you mum invite her as a guest?

No, you aren't being unreasonable. She said she would help out this time. There's nothing wrong with giving a friend a second chance, especially when she admits her shortcoming and promises to do better this time. It's also possible she didn't have the money last time and that your mother had led her to believe it was okay to go as a guest last time.

In fact, the only question about this I have is your mother's unconcerned attitude. Is it possible this lady was given mixed messages, with you expecting her to pay her fair share but your mother telling her not to worry about it?

Anyway, you did speak up this time. I don't know what else you could have done, aside from snatching her purse and grabbing the money or leaving in a huff and ruining the whole trip.

I'd be mad too though and Ms. Freeloader not be getting a third chance!

I don't know why you are paying for your mum and her friends holiday, let alone then doing everything while there?

I think especially since this isn't the first time it's gone like that, and you've already told them how you felt before, then they both know what they're doing and they are happy to take the piss and exploit you.

I would not be doing it again. Tell your mum that youve had enough. They both reneged on the agreement to contribute and it isn't fair and that's the end of you paying for holidays.
It's supposed to be your holiday too!

Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.

And then what did you do?

Crickets..

Crikey we just went away with my parents and even tho they don't ask I always transfer the half of the cottage and half the food shop my mum gets it's common courtesy

Fool me once...
YANBU thinking she's a CF, but YABU to be that surprised.

I wouldn't go on holiday with either your Mum or her and her friend again. This sounds like an odd friendship. Is she a user with your Mum too? Are they definitely just friends? If so I don't understand why the cost wouldn't be clearly split.

You are not being unreasonable and unfortunately some people are just takers!

Was she like this last time on holiday and what is she like as a friend to your mum? Is she very much a taker in their friendship?

I have the same issues with my MIL who is a complete taker and has been on holiday with us a few times but now we have actually stopped inviting her as we were finding we were just looking after her or paying for everything the whole time and as never cooks, helps or buys anything but happy to purchase herself £150 worth of tabacco at the airport on the way home. And I felt like a complete mug every time!

If I were you I'd talk with your mum about the situation and say you won't be inviting her again. Not sure if you are close with the friend, do you may not see her regularly, but I'd either say to her you were disappointed that she didn't help or contribute on holiday and you won't be going with them again as its just to much for you and you can't afford to be paying for everything and doing everything, it's your holiday too!

Why did you agree she could come on the holiday you’d paid for?! How bizarre!

I would tell your mum now that you found her friend’s behaviour incredibly rude and you will never be going out or on holiday with her again. Your mum can go with her (or you!) as a duo, that’s that.

I’m not sure what her financial situation is but you’re not unreasonable for feeling taken advantage of. Perhaps she’s a good friend and your mum doesn’t have a lot of good friends so is unwilling to make this a hill to die on. You, however are not in the same position and this isn’t something that you are willing to let go in exchange for her friendship. Completely fair. I don’t think that it’s reasonable to bill retrospectively, but you have all of the information that you need to act accordingly in future. Whether that means that you never go anywhere with this woman again, or the next time you go away to split the costs upfront. The caravan is x amount, petrol will be y and food kitty will be Z, which equals a share of £this much each. If you fancy it please and payment to this bank account by this date so that we can get it booked. Then if you want to treat your mum you can arrange to pay her portion privately.