to say no to sisters request for no alcohol over Xmas?

Cool misogyny.

I don't know anyone who eats turkey at Christmas ... us included. Turkey is tasteless imo. We prefer a nice prime rib for the family event.

I will add for me this is not about alcohol but whether everybody’s choice of food / drink should be controlled because of one invitee.

It’s no different to a vegetarian insisting on a full vegetarian Christmas at somebody else’s Christmas event because they personally don’t want to be around meat. Or rather their partner insisting on that for them.

I don’t eat pork and find being at dinner parties / events with no pork products a lot easier to manage. I would never insist others go without pork for my benefit. If it’s too hard for me to compromise I would just stay away.

My friend has been in rehabilitation for alcohol and he tries to avoid putting himself in situations that may tempt him however hes really into sport and has a big group of mates. He also cant control what every else does but he can control his own actions. He still goes to the pub and if we stay over at friends houses he takes himself off to bed early.
But the key here is you should all go about your normal lives. He has to make the changes not you. So he needs to have the self control if he wants to join in and if he cant then he needs to make alternative plans, not you.

We eat goose if it’s just us, turkey if my in laws come (because they won’t eat goose). It’s a bit off topic but Christmas lunch is a weird, annoying thing. You spend the year being an accountant / actuary / underwriter then at Christmas you are supposed to transform into an accomplished Edwardian cook who can magic up enormous banquets for 18 at a time. It’s very important that turkey / goose is perfect, despite never cooking it any other time.

Don't be ridiculous. Many people can go for months without drinking. However a nice wine or champagne can compliment food. The OP waa perfectly happy to not have alcohol served at Christmas dinner, which was nice of her, as she doesn't even know this man.
And yes, I had two recovering alcoholics in my family. Christmas went ahead with wine for some and Schloer or whatever served with dinner for non drinkers.
Many alcohol recovery programnes teach that the onus is on the alcoholic to take control of their sobriety , not everyone else to accommodate them. They have to make the " choice" not to drink. Atv3 years sober, he should have learned that by now.

You can change it. Just go back and click on the other option - you’ll see the tick change places.

I think that's unusual, I wouldn't expect a boyfriend of six months family or to have to adapt family plans for them. Each to their own though.

And I'd also welcome a new partner etc, but not at the expense of everyone else's enjoyment. It's quite normal and healthy for my hard working adult son to come back home for a couple of days and have some beers.

One of my best friends has been in recovery for 18 months and always comes to parties where there is alochol. She has never once asked for no alochol. She says if she thinks she couldn't handle being around alochol then she wouldn't go. I always ensure I have a selection of alochol free drinks for her and she really appreciates this gesture.

OP has offered to make the lunch/dinner booze free, just not the whole 3 days so your point is moot. It’s actually the sister who has a decision to make, compromise or don’t go at all

As I said, crack on. I’d prefer to have a good relationship with the people I care about.

But why does that only work one way for you? You don’t apply the same principle to the sister ?

Don't hold your breath waiting for a sensible answer to that one 😄.

If alcohol is more important to you than your relationships, then crack on.

It’s so strange to see this used in the context of a non drinker being around people who do not have any issues with alcohol drinking moderately at family gatherings and celebrations, because this extreme stance would normally be reserved for situations where a person has a drinking problem and is actively causing harm to their loved ones.

Drinking alcohol is a completely normal thing for people to do. I can’t fathom why anyone would expect an entire family group to forgo consuming alcohol on Christmas Day because of one person, who isn’t even a family member.

It’s not about alcohol being more important, the issue is being dictated to about what you and your family can and cannot do, in your own home, on Christmas Day. There is nothing wrong with drinking alcohol. Why would anyone think it acceptable to try and exert this level of control over others?

I prefer to have no relationship at all with people who think they can control me and my family.

Nope don’t alter your Christmas for this man. What will be the next thing? Your dc’s being asked to have alcohol free weddings so he can attend? Can’t go to a restaurant that serves alcohol? No no no, he’s a grown man. He can either bring some Coca Cola or stay at home.

But in the OPs scenario she's been asked. So if I was the host and agreed, which I would, I would have no resentment. I'd just be happy I could meet him and he and sister were there.

3 Years sober? He's not in recovery if being around alcohol is this big an issue.

What about other guests? I know a lot of people who would politely decline a dry Christmas. The champagne on Christmas morning, the brandy by the fire. Even my non drinking g great grandmother used to love a glass on port on Christmas Eve.

I would struggle to change so many people’s experience and enjoyment of Christmas to suit one person, particularly someone who is a practical stranger. Would you be okay with not seeing other family members on Christmas to comply with this request?

I’m sure the OP would much rather spend Christmas Day with her adult children and their partners, over her sister and her partner.

I would imagine the OP’s children still very much view her home as theirs. I wonder how complaint they would be with having a dry Christmas imposed on them. Not very, is my guess.

It's OP's sister's idea. Her boyfriend has told her that he is spending Christmas with his sister and her family as they won't be drinking as they have small children.

He didn't invite OP's sister to join them so her sister is now demanding that OP invites him for an alcohol-free Christmas and OP's offer of a Christmas dinner without alcohol has been rejected by her sister as she expects all three days to be alcohol-free.

For a close relative, who I loved, I would do it.
For a random who someone has been with for 6 months.. nope.
I don’t drink much these days, but a few m&s cocktail cans whilst cooking and a glass of fizz at dinner is something I love.

Your sister is being massively unreasonable here.

Now that it's just me and dh at Christmas we now have fillet steak with roasted veg, salad, chips and baby boiled potatoes. So relaxing and miminal clearing up.