to say no to sisters request for no alcohol over Xmas?

I think it’s sad if the value of the holiday is more linked to alcohol than who’s there. You’re welcome to think differently.

I'm lost for words reading the majority answers on this thread. Many of you have a toxic relationship with alcohol if you can't enjoy a family celebration without it.

It doesn't matter how many months the OP's sister has been with her partner/boyfriend. She's made the request because he's a recovering alcoholic and wants to help him enjoy the family get together without addiction triggers.

If he was celiac or had an alergy to certain foods, the OP would adjust the menu. But because it's alcohol, the sister is being unreasonable.

Some of you really need to think about why you can't have fun without alcohol.

I'm lost for words reading the majority answers on this thread. Many of you have a toxic relationship with alcohol if you can't enjoy a family celebration without it.

It doesn't matter how many months the OP's sister has been with her partner/boyfriend. She's made the request because he's a recovering alcoholic and wants to help him enjoy the family get together without addiction triggers.

If he was celiac or had an alergy to certain foods, the OP would adjust the menu. But because it's alcohol, the sister is being unreasonable.

Some of you really need to think about why you can't have fun without alcohol.

Turkey is horrible. I haven't had it at Christmas since I was a child. I tried to cook it one year for my children, a beautiful free range expensive one with all the basting instructions carefully followed. Still hated it.

Now that it's just me and dh at Christmas we now have fillet steak with roasted veg, salad, chips and baby boiled potatoes. So relaxing and miminal clearing up.

Beef? For Christmas dinner? 😢 Dinner on the 25th should always, always be 🦃

But in the OPs scenario she's been asked. So if I was the host and agreed, which I would, I would have no resentment. I'd just be happy I could meet him and he and sister were there.

Yes I would (but tbh I don't think I know anyone who'd decline being with their family and friends because it was a dry event so it's easy for me to say).

What about other guests? I know a lot of people who would politely decline a dry Christmas. The champagne on Christmas morning, the brandy by the fire. Even my non drinking g great grandmother used to love a glass on port on Christmas Eve.

I would struggle to change so many people’s experience and enjoyment of Christmas to suit one person, particularly someone who is a practical stranger. Would you be okay with not seeing other family members on Christmas to comply with this request?

I don't know anyone who eats turkey at Christmas ... us included. Turkey is tasteless imo. We prefer a nice prime rib for the family event.

I don't think this is about 'alcohol being more important than relationships', its about the sisters respect for her family and those relationships being more important than a 6 month boyfriend ( or any month, actually).

I'd be mighty pissed off and being dictated to in this way and it would take the sheen off xmas day.

I'd be mortified in the boyfriends shoes to put this on the hosts. Wonder whose idea it was?

What about other guests? I know a lot of people who would politely decline a dry Christmas. The champagne on Christmas morning, the brandy by the fire. Even my non drinking g great grandmother used to love a glass on port on Christmas Eve.

I would struggle to change so many people’s experience and enjoyment of Christmas to suit one person, particularly someone who is a practical stranger. Would you be okay with not seeing other family members on Christmas to comply with this request?

But in the OPs scenario she's been asked. So if I was the host and agreed, which I would, I would have no resentment. I'd just be happy I could meet him and he and sister were there.

No, you truly don't understand alcoholism. You can make the environment dry, sure, thereby making a huge elephant of the whole thing which is not helpful to anyone and actually causes low level resentment and awkwardness for this man going forward. But if someone truly wants to drink they'll get it from somewhere else, regardless. Doing this will only cause the issues I've mentioned. Growing up with two alcohol dependent parents I can tell you this would not be the way to go.

As I said, crack on. I’d prefer to have a good relationship with the people I care about.

I thought my comment was pretty clear tbh. Its what we do when we CARE about someone else. If alcohol is more important to you than your relationships, then crack on.

But why does that only work one way for you? You don’t apply the same principle to the sister ?

As I said, crack on. I’d prefer to have a good relationship with the people I care about.

Alcohol isn't important to me but freedom of choice is. Its obviously ok in your world for the ops sister to dictate if she or any other adults are allowed to have a drink at a wedding, party or other gatherings for the rest of their lives (assuming this relationship goes the distance) even if they are hosting.

Fair enough, but it wouldn't do for me. And not because I can't live without a drink, I'm a very moderate drinker and have seen alcoholism first hand through a family member. But I just don't believe one person should be able to dictate to a whole group of adults what their choices are. God help them if the sister and partner also decide to go vegan!

It helps his sobriety if his addiction being fully acknowledged and accepted by his girlfriend/partner's family..

The OP has a decision to make - she can make Christmas dinner alcohol free, which shouldn't be a problem if alcohol is not a prop to having family fun, or she could damage her relationship with her sister and turn her back to a person sitting on her table trying hard to maintain sobriety.

It's the OP's decision,