Ultimate Betrayal

Pack a lunch and snacks for kids?!

YABU. In this day and age you can use AI so you are all in the photos happy and smiling. Just get new photo done from original and add kids in then just move on and forget about it. Don't let ut ruin your wife's achievement.

This is all so odd.

why didn’t you just get one of her parents to take a photo with their phone of you, her and the kids?

why didn’t you plan for the parking situation? It’s quite obvious that graduations are big events and have loads of people travelling there?

why did you risk lateness?

ultimate betrayal? No. Just forget it and move on

im surprised you have time to ruminate on this with 4 small kids

My son graduated this year. The ONLY opportunity for the professional family photo was before the ceremony. The photographers weren’t there afterwards. You’d have known that if you’d been there on time.
I’m sure your wife appreciated you making her big day about you.

Imagine that you have won £5 million on the lottery, but the condition is that you must turn up at the lottery company HQ at 10am next Wednesday morning tomorrow to claim the prize. If you arrive at 10:01 you lose the lot.

Are you going to get the kids up at 8am and drive the 50 miles to lottery HQ? No. You're going to get a hotel the night before, within walking distance. You're going to check in at 4pm. You're going to be in bed by 10pm. You're going to have three phones and hotel giving you an alarm call.

Why? Because that lottery win would obviously be really, really important to you. If your wife's graduation, and your kids being in the pictures, was really, really important, you would have done all the logistics differently. Maybe not a hotel within walking distance, but you would have made more solid arrangements. The fact that you didn't means that deep down it wasn't actually all that important. You might have told yourself that it was. You might still be telling yourself that it was. But it just wasn't. When things are important, other things get reprioritised.

That usually also includes money. Unless you're living hand to mouth, you could have found some money to make this process work better, and reprioritised some other use that you might have had for that money.

There's actually nothing wrong with your wife's graduation not being top of your priority list to the point that you were prepared to move heaven and earth to make it happen without a hitch. We can't make everything super-important. But you can't have it both ways. Either this is sufficiently important that when it goes wrong it's the Ultimate Betrayal, or it isn't, in which case, learn some lessons for next time (for example, that getting toddlers up and out the door for something they don't understand is not easy).

She probably just got swept up in the excitement of the day and didn’t over think the photo situation. It’s probably all about something deeper as to why this hurt you so much but for argument sake I’ve answered your question.

This.

Ultimate betrayal is what happened to my relative who supported her husband through his doctorate, got pregnant and he went off and shagged someone else while she was in labour.

This is not about you. It's about ....photos. Get a grip.

Honestly, every time I have planned to have photos with my little ones, it has turned out to be a nightmare and somebody is always crying. That is kids for you and that is life. Honestly, don’t get yourself stressed out about it. This was her day and it’s about celebrating her achievement. You can always book a photo shoot another time with her and the kids. That would be a lovely Mother’s Day gift.

It may be helpful to ask yourself why you are being so triggered by this situation. It doesn’t feel like it’s about the graduation but maybe more about the fact that you feel that she is moving onward and upward maybe or maybe you’re feeling like you’re not being prioritized as much as you want to be. Really important to just ask yourself why this is bothering you so much because I doubt very much it’s just about the photos.

You know you could use AI to re-create the perfect family photo dont you?
Either that or ask him to do further degree like masters or PhD so all of you could go to another ceremony.

Im
so sorry for you op that you got left in this position, however, prior planning from you is definite grounds to learn from.
I have a now 2yr old at time of travelling he was 20month I managed a 6hr trip across country we left at 5am he was dressed and fed by the time we left. I noticed others around me with children older just wandering about in their pyjamas!!
I’m sorry but no matter what time it is have some damn decency to dress your kids!! You wanted your kids dressed , I totally get you on this. You did however poor plan. We all fuck up we are all human that’s what happens. I think you just take it on the chin and take your own pictures gown dressed and all. We make our own memories in this world xx

You should definitely read all the OPs comments - it’s not just about the graduation - it’s more because she (OP is actually the wife it turns out) feels she JS aleays being left out by her husband and his family when they get together.

Christ, it’s some family photos. I think you are overthinking and sound a little unhinged.

Take some nice ones another time, don’t ruin what should be a happy time for her with this drama.

You should read all the OP’s comments.

It sounds quite bluntly that you ruined your wife’s day and made it about you.
If you anticipated being late, why didn’t you leave earlier. Honestly you sound like a narcissist and have some nerve coming on a women’s forum and expect sympathy for this jealous and entitled behaviour.

You managed travelling with one child? Congratulations! Have you tried it with 4? Just wondering.

You didn't make the effort to get up early enough and get organised to be there on time and so you messed up your wife's big day. I think that's a better interpretation of what happened.

Dramatic much?

Grow up and take it on the chin, the photos were clearly terrible - no ones fault its just how it went with grumpy kids also to say its an Ultimate Betrayal is completely ridiculous -Its the wifes big day, not yours, you arent the main character. But you are the main Drama Llama :o)

I’m obsessed with your chosen title for
this. Ross Kemp is that you?

Op is a woman and other spouse is a man. There’s a backstory of op supporting him and never being considered.

You are not just being unreasonable, you are being ridiculous.

I genuinely don’t understand how you ducked it up so badly. if the kids were never going to the ceremony and it was from 10-11.30 then surely you didn’t need to be there until 11.30 so even taking the drive in to consideration you had plenty of time to get the kids ready.

Because op was doing the sole parenting.

I’m so sorry for the grief you have got about the timing. Getting four young children out the door for a special occasion is no small task. I only have twins and it was always so tough. I think the birthday party was a worse betrayal than the graduation though ❤️