Ultimate Betrayal

I have never ever come across a photography company that won’t take your money and let you buy additional photos. His parents might want to buy a photo? Feels a bit of a mountain out of a molehill.

Ultimate Betrayal. The story of when a graduation photo goes wrong,
Coming to a cinema near you soon.

Exactly. If you really want the photo of the crying kids then pay for an extra.

"My wife had her graduation this summer…"

If it's any consolation, we went to DD's Graduation this year and experienced the whole shabbang. She opted for a lone photo which is beautiful and we took loads of photos afterwards in the grounds - but in comparison to your family we were 4 adults.

I can imagine how you feel when things didn't turn out how (either of) you planned but seriously they're not events that you'd take young children to, which I imagine you already knew and hence why you aimed for a timeslot that in hindsight wasn't achievable.

We were all up at 6am for an 8am arrival at the venue and there was a lot of hanging around, an hour and a half watching the presentation which was boring except for DD's walk of honour on the stage. By 11am we were 'done for' except for DD who then wanted group photos - the 3 of us guests looked shocking and our photos were disappointing, DD looked fab.

So what I'm saying is, give yourself a pat on the back - taking 4 youngsters where all the car parks are unexpectedly full and having to travel by taxi is no mean fete - no wonder the children were crabby and the photo situation obviously tipped you over the edge - after all that I think I'd have thrown myself on the floor and cried. Your experience of the occasion was a disaster but your wife had a fabulous experience - the 2 aren't comparable because she had adult company and you had the children which was important for her enjoyment at her event. Sometimes life is like that and we can only learn from it - we did, it's all we could do. I'm glad it's the only one we had to attend, never again 🥳

Reverses are always stupid and pointless (either you value the opinions you get here or you don't; if you don't want to just tell us what happened then hold the story or tell it somewhere else rather than fuck around with the facts) but this was possibly the most stupid and pointless of all.

And perhaps it does show my own prejudices, because I thought OP must be a woman; just couldn't see any man writing this and making it an Ultimate Betrayal. I thought it must be either a same sex couple or one of our resident MRA losers lifting a woman's story from somewhere and fucking with it to prove we are all Man Haters and all that.

Anyway, what a colossal waste of time.

You had one job OP

wtf were the kids hungry at they time and why didn’t you have snacks in your bag?

what a load of BS

This!!! Applaud you saying exactly what everyone is thinking

That's the OP.
Read the thread.
Or just read the OP's posts.

Genuinely don't know how people don't understand how online forums work in 2026.

Your kids needed to be up at 5am to leave at 7am?! What the heck do.you do for the two hours

Just came here to say that you should have properly prepared - got the kids stuff ready the night before, got up earlier, planned snacks and car breaks, and found a playground for them to enjoy before meeting up for photos. You did not participate in making it a special day for her and you thinking she has stabbed you in the back is entirely selfish - she picked a happy photo to salvage what a mockery you made of her big day. Make it up to her!

That would be unimaginable but i do like your thinking

Cut him some slack ideally the choice to moan on here now he's grieved boooohoo oh mufusa grow ffs

Erm. Are you okay?

At the graduation they take official pictures before the ceremony why wouldn't she take pictures with her family because YOU couldnt make it ontime. You have young kids. And you know it takes longer to get ready and out of the house...so get up earlier and leave earlier. Im sure your wife could have managed

But you brought the gown and photo...what a hero!

Your wife should be the one feeling betrayed by you ruining the day.

So I have read ALL the OP’s posts before commenting and it’s clearly more than just the graduation photos.

The OP did a gender reverse so she’s the one who has given birth and takes care of four kids under five. As her husband works nights and has been studying for a degree we can assume she’s doing the bulk of not all the childcare on her own.

@Mufasa1992 It sounds to me like your husband is at best very self focused and at worst very self centered, and he’s still very much focused on his parents and siblings feelings over yours.

You mention at the birthday party that he pointed out you weren’t there for the photos but he didn’t insist they waited.

He didn’t clear up the confusion about the wedding invitation for you.

I think going forward you need to think and get clear on what YOU want in situations where his family are in attendance and find some strategies to deal with what you now know is likely to happen.

So a birthday party that you have arranged you make sure anyone you’ve hired like photographers and caterers know that you are in charge and they need to run any changes suggested by anyone else through you.

MIL grabs photographer and says let’s do family photos now - he knows to say let me check with Musafa when she wants to do them.

SIL tries to get the caterer to light the candles on the cake while you are out of the room - caterer knows to come and find you first. Etc etc

Events that are not controlled by you take a different approach.

Re graduation - you said DH left it too late to book an afternoon slot then the consequence is the kids can’t come on this occasion. Book a babysitter. You get to go and watch the ceremony and be in the photos with everyone else.

Rent the gown for an extra day and get a local portrait photographer to take a nice family picture when the kids can be calm and happy not frazzled after travel.

Practice the phrase ‘this doesn’t work for me’.

What has he graduated in OP?

Eta.. Brave to study for a degree with 1,2,3 then 4 kids under 5

It was probably the simple fact that ahe had to have those photos taken then and couldn’t include you because you were not there .

You should probably read all the OPs messages.

OP is the Mum (she did a gender reverse)

DH left it too long to get an afternoon slot for graduation which would have meant an easier day for the kids.

He was the one who insisted they should come.

The venue offered both before and after ceremony photo slots.

On a previous occasion at her kids birthday party arranged by the OP with photographer booked by the OP the in-laws insisted on taking the group photo while the OP was out of the room changing her clothes.

Ultimate betrayal? I was expecting an opening post with a plot line akin to the Eastenders Christmas duff duffs. This is ridiculous. Christ knows how you’d react if someone took your last rolo.

WTF is wrong with you?? Over reaction and making it all about you.

This thread is rather confusing, but OP you've obviously done a lot to support your husband in getting his degree and it sounds like you would have liked that support to have been recognised/appreciated by him, and that is why you're upset.

I get photo FOMO too sometimes, its easy to read it as you being forgotten but really its down to the whereabouts of people in a fleeting moment!

Four 5 and under must be chaos, hats off to you. I have three 5 and under and I'm barely coping! I am finding with three I really have to assess how doable things are now, and recognise where an activity/event might actually be more trouble than it's worth. I think this was one of those events for you!

God I thought “ultimate betrayal” was going to be “my partner slept with my sibling/best friend” and not this.

4 kids under 5, you deserve a medal to be able to get them out of the door by 8 am on your own, it's a shame for the photo especially after going all that distance.

Only one person fucked up here and it’s not your wife. Big baby.