AIBU to ignore an old friend asking for financial help?

I think if you reply, you open the door to more demands. Therefore I would block her and not reply

I’m currently in refuge and I wouldn’t dream of asking for money for house deposit etc. Yes it’s tight being on benefits but we have to get on with it. I’ve put myself on housing register, scrimp and scrape and I get by. It’s tough but there is help out there. I think it’s a big thing asking for as much as a house deposit, it’s not a couple of quid is it. You probably wouldn’t get it back because there will always be something else to pay for.

I agree with this. Some people are emotionally draining. If you are happy without her in your life keep it that way.

There’s no way I’d even reply.

So after 6 years without hearing from her she gets back in contact and asks you for money? If it was just £20 I'd be annoyed by that but a deposit for a house is potentially thousands of pounds!

I would personally be fuming. I'd reply and say that you wish her well but that you won't be sending her any money. And shes a CF to even ask! Perhaps suggest some other sources such as benefits or links to charities etc who may be able to assist or support her.

What happens if you need support for anything? Is she there for you?

I wouldn't give her the money, but I wouldn't ignore her either. You stopped being friends because she was in an abusive relationship. It seems very hash to continue to punish her for something that wasn't really her fault. She could probably do with a friend now.

I would reply and say that you wish her well, but that you will not be loaning her any money. And not engage further if you don't want to.

I don’t think you should ignore but let her know that you are not in a position to help her. My dad used to say not a borrower or a lender be, it’s so true and an easy way to lose a friend and some money.

This. You have moved on and she has not kept in contact until she needs money.

What did she ever bring to your friendship? I cannot believe she has popped up to ask you for financial support after all these years. I wouldn't be giving her anything or replying now. I appreciate she went through a hard time, but it's not up to you to financially or emotionally support her after all these years.

I think it depends on what your main concerns are. If you really could help her without it effecting you, could you give her the money on the understanding you aren’t in a position to offer other support and you don’t expect to hear from her again though you wish her well? It depends on what other avenues are available to her.

She's asking you because everyone else who's closer to her has said no.

It's incredibly frustrating and hurtful when someone's in a bad relationship and dumps good friends as a result.

YANBU. I could understand asking for a small loan for some essentials but a house deposit is crazy talk.

Me personally I would reply. I’d say I’m pleased for her that she’s finally left him for good and that I won’t be helping with a house deposit, what are the essentials she needs for the children. Then depending on her answer I might help with essentials for the kids if it’s something I might already have or not that costly to provide the items. No way I’d give her any cash.
Housing help will be available to her, Temp Accommodation and housing benefit.

Completely fair enough to ignore and block though.

I wouldn't even reply

I had to cut ties with someone for a similar reason op. Sometimes you have to protect your own mental health when you’ve spent so many years helping someone who won’t help themselves. Though I have to say mine didn’t have the fucking gall to pop up asking for money. You’ve cut her out of your life and this is how she gets back in touch? She’s a user. Don’t reply and move on with your life

As @TFImBackIn says, She's asking you because everyone else who's closer to her has said no. Don’t do it. You will never see the money again. Her problems aren’t yours to solve.

A deposit for a house? So thousands?

Don’t reply, or send a generic type email saying you’re unable to help and wish her well for the future, then block.

She's asking you because everyone else who's closer to her has said no.

This.

You are being kind to just ignore the message. Personally I’d respond but only to let her know how cheeky she’s being.

Your money should be spent on your own children, not on a house deposit for someone you haven't spoken to in 6 years.

A fucking house deposit? What planet is she on? What a cheek!

Err, why is op punishing her? Op’s money is not ex-friends to spend. As you’re so keen, why don’t you give the ex-friend the money? or be a friend to her?

More front than Brighton!

Did you miss the very first part of my post where I said I wouldn't give her money?