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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be annoyed at my husband over something that happened at my sister’s wedding?

175 replies

Springsunshine28 · 21/09/2026 14:02

I was one of the bridesmaids at my sister’s wedding. We were walking down a slope, and another bridesmaid was ahead of me. She was wearing high heels and was struggling a bit to walk down, so my husband, who was at the bottom, helped her.
I was coming down after her, and my husband could see me. He actually signalled to me to wait, and then went back to help the same bridesmaid again.
This is what annoyed me. He had already helped her earlier, and when he saw me coming down, I assumed he would come towards me next, especially as I'm his wife. Instead, he chose to help her first again and told me to wait.
I don't think he was necessarily doing anything inappropriate. She was genuinely struggling in her high heels, and perhaps he was simply being a gentleman and helping her.
But I still felt a bit annoyed that he saw me and chose to help her first. Maybe it's completely irrational, but I couldn't help thinking, "I'm your wife standing right here!"
AIBU for feeling annoyed about this, or was he simply being helpful and I'm making too much of a small thing?

OP posts:
gannett · 21/09/2026 17:08

Dontlletmedownbruce · 21/09/2026 17:07

Jesus, how insecure and controlling are you really? Pls tell us of some other awful things you survived. Did he refill the kettle after pouring his tea at work? Did he open the door for a man using a zimmerframe? Offered to let the delivery man use the toilet?

I think that last one would genuinely get half of MN saying LTB and using the word "grim"

SoupSoup · 21/09/2026 17:08

So you think he should have abandoned her mid-slope and barged past her to get to you, in case anyone thought he wasn't prioritising your tragic high-heeled tottering over hers?

It's astonishing how some people get up in the morning, put their clothes on and hold down a job.

JeanSimmons · 21/09/2026 17:10

Don't be so utterly ridiculous. Do you normally make issues out of nothing!?

watchingthishtread · 21/09/2026 17:11

You're coming across as very needy.

theneighbourgotmycake · 21/09/2026 17:16

I honestly do not know how people can stay in relationships with a partner that is ridiculously jealous and needy. It must be suffocating.

pinenuts75 · 21/09/2026 17:16

Springsunshine28 · 21/09/2026 14:48

He was helping the same bridesmaid on 2 different occasions.

Probably because he didn’t want her to fall down and hurt herself?

whippersnapper55 · 21/09/2026 17:19

Jesus wept 🤦‍♀️ poor bloke!

notacooldad · 21/09/2026 17:23

He was helping the same bridesmaid on 2 different occasions

Would you feel as grumpy if it was a great aunt he helped out on two occasions or are you jut wound up because it was a bridesmaid?

FirstPortBastards · 21/09/2026 17:24

I like it when my partner helps other people, yes even good looking women, because it shows he is thoughtful, empathetic and kind. Jealousy is unhealthy and ugly.

BewareOfTheFakes · 21/09/2026 17:26

I don’t get it.

Id be stood there all proud (and more than a little bit show off’y) that that was MY husband being all gentlemanly and helping people out. Aren’t I a lucky cow for having such a gentleman for a husband? I am genuinely not sure what to be jealous about in this situation.

ToadRage · 21/09/2026 17:27

Were you also struggling? If you were clearly fine and she wasn't, why would he not help her. I would have no issue in fact i would feel proud that my husband was gentlemanly enough to help a lady who was having trouble.

Change2banon · 21/09/2026 17:27

So he was being a gentleman and you’re annoyed at him 🤨

CheeseToast17 · 21/09/2026 17:31

LTB. He’s probably planning on leaving you for her already so best to jump the gun.

But in all seriousness you sound a bit unhinged about this.

Coffeeready · 21/09/2026 17:36

I’d have been annoyed if he’d helped her and completely ignored me. Or if we’d been next to each other and arrived together and he’d chosen to help her rather than me. But she arrived first and he acknowledged he knew you were there and asked you to wait so he could help you next. Don’t personally see an issue with this.

MixedFeelingsNoFeelings · 21/09/2026 17:40

Well, I get it OP. My ex gallantly gave his scarf to a shivering young lady after a night out. And on another occasion was photographed spoon-feeding her her pudding. The former more innocent than the latter of course, but both gave me the ick.

gannett · 21/09/2026 17:47

BewareOfTheFakes · 21/09/2026 17:26

I don’t get it.

Id be stood there all proud (and more than a little bit show off’y) that that was MY husband being all gentlemanly and helping people out. Aren’t I a lucky cow for having such a gentleman for a husband? I am genuinely not sure what to be jealous about in this situation.

This is exactly how I feel and - smug alert - I can think of multiple occasions when I have indeed felt that

Weeellokthen · 21/09/2026 17:49

I'm guessing the other bm is a beauty 😍

Happyjoe · 21/09/2026 17:50

Jellycatspyjamas · 21/09/2026 14:12

Holy hell, is that really what folk are taking offence at now.

I’d not expect my DH to apologise for my utterly irrational feelings about him daring to help someone (physically closer to him) before he helped me. Folk are batshit crazy.

It's a real minefield these days 😀 Soon people won't do anything for fear of upsetting someone along the line.

TheFormerMrsTruelove · 21/09/2026 18:00

You wanted him to walk right past her struggling halfway down the slope, come to the top of the slope where you weren’t struggling at all, help you down the hill and then go back for her?

I’ll freely admit that I’m incredibly unreasonable with the expectations I have for my husband but this is something else. Is there some huge drip feed coming, where he has a history of abandoning you to go off and flirt with other women? If not, you sound a bit… difficult.

Linnende · 21/09/2026 18:01

With everything that is currently going on in the world. If this is all you need to worry about, then you are very fortunate. I would say, you need to give yourself a talking to and get a grip!

pictoosh · 21/09/2026 18:11

I mean...really.

moodybluehpc · 21/09/2026 18:34

Is that all you have to worry about Grow up

Spirallingdownwards · 21/09/2026 18:34

Springsunshine28 · 21/09/2026 14:48

He was helping the same bridesmaid on 2 different occasions.

How nice of him. Wtf Is wrong with you?

Bumcake · 21/09/2026 18:36

This is the most non-event in the history of events.

i look forward to the reveal that it happened in 2015.

RikthePoet · 21/09/2026 18:39

He sounds awful.