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AIBU?

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AIBU to be annoyed at my husband over something that happened at my sister’s wedding?

175 replies

Springsunshine28 · 21/09/2026 14:02

I was one of the bridesmaids at my sister’s wedding. We were walking down a slope, and another bridesmaid was ahead of me. She was wearing high heels and was struggling a bit to walk down, so my husband, who was at the bottom, helped her.
I was coming down after her, and my husband could see me. He actually signalled to me to wait, and then went back to help the same bridesmaid again.
This is what annoyed me. He had already helped her earlier, and when he saw me coming down, I assumed he would come towards me next, especially as I'm his wife. Instead, he chose to help her first again and told me to wait.
I don't think he was necessarily doing anything inappropriate. She was genuinely struggling in her high heels, and perhaps he was simply being a gentleman and helping her.
But I still felt a bit annoyed that he saw me and chose to help her first. Maybe it's completely irrational, but I couldn't help thinking, "I'm your wife standing right here!"
AIBU for feeling annoyed about this, or was he simply being helpful and I'm making too much of a small thing?

OP posts:
sweeneytoddsrazor · 21/09/2026 14:25

I would expect my DH to ask me to wait whilst he helped someone else unless there was a risk of death, because that is the polite thing to do.

TidyDancer · 21/09/2026 14:26

I’m really not clear what he’s done wrong here. He helped in order of the bridesmaids coming down the slope right? That’s absolutely the right thing to do. It would’ve looked weirder if he went past the one in front of you.

glendabrownlow · 21/09/2026 14:27

Is his behaviour part of a pattern of showing off/flirting with women right in front of you, OP?

Tel12 · 21/09/2026 14:28

When was this?

StarPyjamas · 21/09/2026 14:31

Leopardspota · 21/09/2026 14:10

Sorry you felt that I put another woman before you, that was not my intention.

Fuck me.

He's supposed to apologise for doing a decent, human thing because his wife is a princess??

ColdAsAWitches · 21/09/2026 14:33

He helped her, then he helped you. You're being unreasonable in so many ways!

Goodgriefisthatrue · 21/09/2026 14:33

So your DH helped the person in front of you first, signalled to you to stop ? so he could help you next…. is that right??
and your moaning about this???

ScottBakula · 21/09/2026 14:34

Pedant61 · 21/09/2026 14:25

"My husband is a gentleman - should I whinge about it on an online forum, because I expect the world to revolve around ME?"

You took the words out of my mouth.
How dare he be a gentleman and help someone near to him 🙄

BoredZelda · 21/09/2026 14:34

She came down first, he helped her first, asked you to wait the he’d help you. And you’re bothered because how dare he help her first? Really?

ColdAsAWitches · 21/09/2026 14:36

I look forward to your next thread "My husband wants a divorce because I think he can't do anything right".

ViaRia01 · 21/09/2026 14:37

Did he come to help you afterward? After you’d waited as he’d encouraged you to? Because if yes then I really don’t see the problem. He saw both bridesmaids were in need of help down the ramp, he helped her first as she was there first and then told you to wait so that he could help you next…? Or have I missed something

beaglescurleduplikebagels · 21/09/2026 14:40

You need to get a grip of yourself.

BadSkiingMum · 21/09/2026 14:43

I can see how it happened and am not sure the shoes are necessarily the issue here. Bridesmaids are expected to dress in a certain formal style for the occasion, which often includes heeled shoes (isn’t it a thing that some very fussy brides like their bridesmaids to appear of similar height?) and this clothing is most suited to indoor or very smooth outdoor terrain. But then what happens is that the happy couple have the idea of a big group photo down by the lake or by the beach, involving a walk, so everyone has to fall in with that plan, because you just do, don’t you? She can’t suddenly dash off and change.

I don’t wear heels myself - too tall! - but I do have sympathy with women who do and then are suddenly required to do inappropriate physical activity.

But yes, OP, it would have been nice for your own DH to also help you down the slope.

Sartre · 21/09/2026 14:44

Guessing she was younger and attractive hence the insecurity. She was presumably there before you so he helped you in order, I doubt there was anything more to his reasoning.

Twilight7777 · 21/09/2026 14:46

MajorSamanthaCarter · 21/09/2026 14:13

Unless he led her down by the boobs I'm not seeing the problem.

😂😂

TheBossOfMe · 21/09/2026 14:46

@BadSkiingMum But he told her to wait so that he could come back and help her. The OP isn’t griping that he didn’t help her. She’s griping that she was made to wait for his help until after he’d helped the woman in front of her. Not sure how he was supposed to help the OP first since presumably that would have involved the OP overtaking the bridesmaid in front, which is not ok obviously!

CorkedWellbeing · 21/09/2026 14:46

NewNewYork · 21/09/2026 14:05

Wasn't he just helping the bridesmaods in the order they arrived?

This!
He probably didn't want to risk changing the order or leaving her to fall while he nipped behind her to help you out.
We can't really know as we weren't there, but I think you're probably reading too much into it OP. Did he do anything else that made you feel belittled or undermined that might be contributing to your irritation?

NewGoldFox · 21/09/2026 14:47

Did he help you after?

I can definitely see how it would be aggravating with all the pressure of the aisle walk to be waiting for help whilst your other half is aiding someone else.

Silverbirchleaf · 21/09/2026 14:47

So he helped someone who was struggling. Nope, don’t see a problem.

ACynicalDad · 21/09/2026 14:48

You married a gentleman. Do you deserve him?

Springsunshine28 · 21/09/2026 14:48

ViaRia01 · 21/09/2026 14:37

Did he come to help you afterward? After you’d waited as he’d encouraged you to? Because if yes then I really don’t see the problem. He saw both bridesmaids were in need of help down the ramp, he helped her first as she was there first and then told you to wait so that he could help you next…? Or have I missed something

He was helping the same bridesmaid on 2 different occasions.

OP posts:
NotSureICanDoIt · 21/09/2026 14:49

That wouldn’t bother me at all. In fact I’d be proud of him for being such a gentleman.

Yesautumniscoming · 21/09/2026 14:49

MajorSamanthaCarter · 21/09/2026 14:13

Unless he led her down by the boobs I'm not seeing the problem.

😂

nomas · 21/09/2026 14:51

First come, first served.

You should have got ahead of her if you wanted him to help you first.

Plus he could tell you to wait, it's harder to tell a stranger to wait.

Were her heels higher?

Merrybandofpirates · 21/09/2026 14:52

What was the second occasion? The first time, down the aisle, she was in front of you so obviously he helped her first. Did he then help her back up the aisle after the ceremony or something? Because it’s normal to go back in the same over so yes, you’d have to wait. Even if it was at another point, it’s much easier to ask your wife to wait for a minute as you understand each other’s little signals than it is for him to have signalled over at this other woman to wait. So yeah, he’d say “hold on an second love, I’ll just help her out the way first”

What’s wrong with you?

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