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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be annoyed at my husband over something that happened at my sister’s wedding?

175 replies

Springsunshine28 · 21/09/2026 14:02

I was one of the bridesmaids at my sister’s wedding. We were walking down a slope, and another bridesmaid was ahead of me. She was wearing high heels and was struggling a bit to walk down, so my husband, who was at the bottom, helped her.
I was coming down after her, and my husband could see me. He actually signalled to me to wait, and then went back to help the same bridesmaid again.
This is what annoyed me. He had already helped her earlier, and when he saw me coming down, I assumed he would come towards me next, especially as I'm his wife. Instead, he chose to help her first again and told me to wait.
I don't think he was necessarily doing anything inappropriate. She was genuinely struggling in her high heels, and perhaps he was simply being a gentleman and helping her.
But I still felt a bit annoyed that he saw me and chose to help her first. Maybe it's completely irrational, but I couldn't help thinking, "I'm your wife standing right here!"
AIBU for feeling annoyed about this, or was he simply being helpful and I'm making too much of a small thing?

OP posts:
Floppyearedlab · 21/09/2026 14:03

Silly idea to wear shoes you can’t walk unaided in. Everyone knows weddings involve a lot of standing and walking.

Leopardspota · 21/09/2026 14:03

How long ago was this? I’d have mentioned it to my husband the next day, I can never stew over this type of thing. I’d have expected an immediate apology.

FunkyFringe · 21/09/2026 14:04

Is this for real? I mean, get a grip.

NewNewYork · 21/09/2026 14:05

Wasn't he just helping the bridesmaods in the order they arrived?

Dearg · 21/09/2026 14:05

I mean this nicely op, but seriously, is this really the only thing you have to worry about?

Sounds like he was a gentleman, and he was simply seeing the first ‘job’ through , before giving you his attention.

Don’t dwell on it.

BitOutOfPractice · 21/09/2026 14:05

Really? I couldn’t get even slightly upset about this. He was just helping. Did you need help?

Id think a lot less of my DP if he left someone to struggle.

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 21/09/2026 14:05

If she was in front of you - meaning he'd have had to walk past her to get to you - then I can see why he helped her. It would have looked rude to ignore her if you know what I mean?

StarPyjamas · 21/09/2026 14:05

I don't think he was necessarily doing anything inappropriate. She was genuinely struggling in her high heels, and perhaps he was simply being a gentleman and helping her.

There's one word in this that speaks volumes and that's 'perhaps'.

What are you thinking the alternative might be?

StarPyjamas · 21/09/2026 14:07

Leopardspota · 21/09/2026 14:03

How long ago was this? I’d have mentioned it to my husband the next day, I can never stew over this type of thing. I’d have expected an immediate apology.

For what? 😳

titchy · 21/09/2026 14:07

LTB

HussleMe · 21/09/2026 14:09

You don’t think he was ‘necessarily’ being inappropriate? He was helping a woman in your full view. Or did he feel her up on the way ‘perhaps’?

I am a bit lost on here sometimes 🤣

Leopardspota · 21/09/2026 14:10

StarPyjamas · 21/09/2026 14:07

For what? 😳

Sorry you felt that I put another woman before you, that was not my intention.

Jellycatspyjamas · 21/09/2026 14:12

Holy hell, is that really what folk are taking offence at now.

I’d not expect my DH to apologise for my utterly irrational feelings about him daring to help someone (physically closer to him) before he helped me. Folk are batshit crazy.

MajorSamanthaCarter · 21/09/2026 14:13

Unless he led her down by the boobs I'm not seeing the problem.

rubyslippers · 21/09/2026 14:13

Were you struggling?
your DH helped a bridesmaid and you’re cross with him for not prioritising you
are you quite insecure
this is something so insignificant that it’s either the tipping point for his generally poor behaviour or you have no sense of proportion

rubyslippers · 21/09/2026 14:13

MajorSamanthaCarter · 21/09/2026 14:13

Unless he led her down by the boobs I'm not seeing the problem.

I miss the laugh emoji

Spirallingdownwards · 21/09/2026 14:14

So was it because you had to wait or because he helped her? Either way YABU and batshit crazy!

Error404FucksNotFound · 21/09/2026 14:16

Were you also struggling?

Pinkflamingo10 · 21/09/2026 14:16

What on earth were you all doing wearing silly shoes you couldn’t walk in ?!
as regards husband -I think let it go!

ZoeCM · 21/09/2026 14:17

I'm so confused by this post. Were you struggling in your heels as well? If not, why would your husband come and help you as well?

Poppingby · 21/09/2026 14:19

I might've thought (and said 😂) HEY! at the time but I would have instantly forgotten it. Instantly.

Dayglojuice · 21/09/2026 14:20

She went down first so he helped her first. Presumably his signal to you was meant to convey that this is what he was doing so hang on. You can’t seriously have expected him to leave her struggling, come round and help you and then go back to her? And why were you all wearing stupid shoes you can’t walk in? Honestly, can’t get the bridesmaids these days.

Springsunshine28 · 21/09/2026 14:22

ZoeCM · 21/09/2026 14:17

I'm so confused by this post. Were you struggling in your heels as well? If not, why would your husband come and help you as well?

It's like a quite hilly slope so yes.

OP posts:
Arlanymor · 21/09/2026 14:23

He helped people in the order they were closest to him. I think the only thing to take away from this is to carry flats! He did nothing wrong, it’s no different to helping someone with a walking aid who might struggle with a slope, if they are in front of you they get helped first. If it had been me in your shoes (although I would have been wearing flats) I would have insisted that someone in front of me went first if he didn’t think to do that himself. But he did because he has manners and logic.

Pedant61 · 21/09/2026 14:25

"My husband is a gentleman - should I whinge about it on an online forum, because I expect the world to revolve around ME?"