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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Awful woman slagging off my family home

180 replies

misscee5 · 19/09/2026 15:09

I recently sold my old house (where Dh, dc, our dog and I) had lived for 12 years to a friend of a friend. She viewed the house, offered 5k below asking price and I accepted. The house was clean and functional but dated in places and did need work - things that were obvious upon viewing like the old bathroom, some walls needed replastering that kind of thing.

Since she moved in she has apparently been slagging me off to old neighbours, friends and anyone who’ll listen it would seem about how grim the house is, it’s a total renovation project, she doesn’t know how I could have lived there with kids etc etc etc.

I understand that houses can look different when they’re empty and perhaps she has buyers remorse which is fair enough, I’ve felt that way about properties before as well. But I’d never make such personal remarks about the previous owner especially if there were mutual people involved who knew them. Aibu to think this is shitty behaviour? I’ve tried not to let it bother me but her dc has just started school with mine so I have to see her around a bit more now. She blanks me and that’s fine with me but I just think it’s bloody cruel. It’s not my fault that the house isn’t what was expected. I left it clean and even left her a bottle of fizz.

If she starts slagging me off to school mums I will feel really pissed off as she’s basically insinuating my family lived like pigs. Aibu to be pissed off here?

OP posts:
Satmod · 19/09/2026 15:11

The house was clean and functional but dated in places and did need work - things that were obvious upon viewing like the old bathroom, some walls needed replastering that kind of thing.

or it’s a total renovation project

which is it?

either way, most people who listen to this woman, not even remotely be interested or take seriously and just get on with their day

fuckeditupbadly · 19/09/2026 15:14

Satmod · 19/09/2026 15:11

The house was clean and functional but dated in places and did need work - things that were obvious upon viewing like the old bathroom, some walls needed replastering that kind of thing.

or it’s a total renovation project

which is it?

either way, most people who listen to this woman, not even remotely be interested or take seriously and just get on with their day

Your two quotes are from different people. The op says its a bit tired, the new owner says its a total renovation. I guess there's an element of subjectivity involved .

Morecoffeeneedef · 19/09/2026 15:17

Your friend's friend has bought a house without realising how much work was needed. Her mistake, and no reflection on you. It's unfortunate that people are passing her comments on. Hopefully they will stop soon.

misscee5 · 19/09/2026 15:17

It did need some work. But she saw this when she viewed it and we even discussed how the bathroom was old and could do with replacing. It wasn’t like she’d never seen the property before. At this point it’s less about the house and more about the implication that my family and I are scruffy.

I do think there’s an element of shit stirring with the ‘friends’ who are feeding this info back to me. I’d rather not have known tbh.

OP posts:
Morecoffeeneedef · 19/09/2026 15:18

misscee5 · 19/09/2026 15:17

It did need some work. But she saw this when she viewed it and we even discussed how the bathroom was old and could do with replacing. It wasn’t like she’d never seen the property before. At this point it’s less about the house and more about the implication that my family and I are scruffy.

I do think there’s an element of shit stirring with the ‘friends’ who are feeding this info back to me. I’d rather not have known tbh.

Yes, why are they doing that? Try to ignore them OP, this is Chinese whispers.

Satmod · 19/09/2026 15:18

misscee5 · 19/09/2026 15:17

It did need some work. But she saw this when she viewed it and we even discussed how the bathroom was old and could do with replacing. It wasn’t like she’d never seen the property before. At this point it’s less about the house and more about the implication that my family and I are scruffy.

I do think there’s an element of shit stirring with the ‘friends’ who are feeding this info back to me. I’d rather not have known tbh.

It sounds like you have an unusual group of friends

misscee5 · 19/09/2026 15:19

Morecoffeeneedef · 19/09/2026 15:18

Yes, why are they doing that? Try to ignore them OP, this is Chinese whispers.

Her attitude towards me definitely suggests that she’s pissed off though. Unfortunately we still live in the same small town and now with school our paths cross often.

OP posts:
morecakeneverstop · 19/09/2026 15:19

YANBU at all. Some people are just rude and nasty and insecure. Yes, you could say something to her (and you'd be totally justified), but it would be more effective to take the high road. When she speaks ill of you and your former home, she looks bad. Very bad.

You've been nothing but kind (fizz was a lovely gesture!). Keep doing that, and you'll look good.

You say she was the friend of a friend. Could you have a quiet word with your friend, and see if this woman has form for this?

If she ever insults your former home to your face, stay calm, breathe and...let it hang. Or, try a good ol' Mumsnet-suggested reply, e.g. 'Did you mean to be so rude?'

Sending you big hugs!

Satmod · 19/09/2026 15:20

misscee5 · 19/09/2026 15:19

Her attitude towards me definitely suggests that she’s pissed off though. Unfortunately we still live in the same small town and now with school our paths cross often.

She got a survey?

chirrupybird · 19/09/2026 15:20

If it was so bad why did she buy it? And how is she living there with her children if she thinks it was not fit for children to live in when she bought it? I assume she didn't go to a hotel for a few months while it was totally refurbished.

hotchocinsummer · 19/09/2026 15:20

She didn’t view it with a blindfold on would be my stock response.

Kingdomofsleep · 19/09/2026 15:21

It only reflects badly on her if she didn't read the survey before exchanging. Nothing should have been a surprise. Don't give it another thought op.

Satmod · 19/09/2026 15:22

hotchocinsummer · 19/09/2026 15:20

She didn’t view it with a blindfold on would be my stock response.

There’d be no response from me. Just completely ignore and move on

WallaceinAnderland · 19/09/2026 15:23

Different people have different standards, that's all.

RappelChoan · 19/09/2026 15:23

I would say hello to her at the school gates, how are you settling in, did you get the bathroom done yet, etc. There is probably something lost in translation/shit stirring/embellishment but not much point holding onto imaginary resentment about it. You might as well know for sure, if she says it is awful you can respond accordingly, if she gives a more normal response you can ignore your “friend” hearsay.

misscee5 · 19/09/2026 15:24

WallaceinAnderland · 19/09/2026 15:23

Different people have different standards, that's all.

Her standards can’t be that much higher than mine if she bought it.

OP posts:
wizzywig · 19/09/2026 15:24

Id be tempted to start a shitty rumour about her too.

BillieWiper · 19/09/2026 15:25

It's not personal against you. The person is talking about their own house. If it was so crap then more fool them for buying it surely?
There's no implication your family are scruffy, dirty etc. Or if there is it's coming from the messenger who you admit is a shit stirrer.
It's being translated from
'oh my new bathroom needs xyz what a pita' to 'the person who sold me the house is a skanky tramp'. Which is a pretty big leap.
The house is none of your concern anymore and that friend isn't helpful telling you all this.

misscee5 · 19/09/2026 15:26

BillieWiper · 19/09/2026 15:25

It's not personal against you. The person is talking about their own house. If it was so crap then more fool them for buying it surely?
There's no implication your family are scruffy, dirty etc. Or if there is it's coming from the messenger who you admit is a shit stirrer.
It's being translated from
'oh my new bathroom needs xyz what a pita' to 'the person who sold me the house is a skanky tramp'. Which is a pretty big leap.
The house is none of your concern anymore and that friend isn't helpful telling you all this.

Yes I’ve tried to frame it like this however her coldness towards me suggests she is treating it as personal rather than property.

OP posts:
Satmod · 19/09/2026 15:27

misscee5 · 19/09/2026 15:26

Yes I’ve tried to frame it like this however her coldness towards me suggests she is treating it as personal rather than property.

Oh who gives a fig if she’s a bit “cold” at the school gate. Drop your child, speak with your friends or just walk on

StarPyjamas · 19/09/2026 15:28

Since she moved in she has apparently been slagging me off to old neighbours, friends and anyone who’ll listen it

This would ring alarm bells for me that she feels comfortable enough with them to slag you off.

Offherrockingchair · 19/09/2026 15:29

Presumably you’ve moved to somewhere bigger and better? And she got what she paid for? If she’d had more money, she’d have bought somewhere that didn’t need
work. The price she paid reflected the condition of the house she purchased. If you hear any more rumours, start your own. And remind people that she’d have had to scrape together a hell of a lot more money if it had been in perfect condition… She’s got herself a bargain really! She should be thanking you.

doitwithlove · 19/09/2026 15:30

If she bad mouths you to other school mums, I’d be tempted to say “did she tell you how much she underpaid for it”

hotmumshit · 19/09/2026 15:32

Theyre all like this on tiktok

Just slagging off the previous tenants/owners as soon as they move in. People are vile honestly, just defend yourself if she tries it within earshot x

Comeonbabylightmyaga · 19/09/2026 15:33

I wonder how the conversation went and if your friends’ stood up for you?