Page 5 | Awful woman slagging off my family home

misscee5 · 2026-09-19T14:09:13+00:00

I recently sold my old house (where Dh, dc, our dog and I) had lived for 12 years to a friend of a friend. She viewed the house, offered 5k below asking price and I accepted. The house was clean and functional but dated in places and did need work - things that were obvious upon viewing like the old bathroom, some walls needed replastering that kind of thing. Since she moved in she has apparently been slagging me off to old neighbours, friends and anyone who’ll listen it would seem about how grim the house is, it’s a total renovation project, she doesn’t know how I could have lived there with kids etc etc etc. I understand that houses can look different when they’re empty and perhaps she has buyers remorse which is fair enough, I’ve felt that way about properties before as well. But I’d never make such personal remarks about the previous owner especially if there were mutual people involved who knew them. Aibu to think this is shitty behaviour? I’ve tried not to let it bother me but her dc has just started school with mine so I have to see her around a bit more now. She blanks me and that’s fine with me but I just think it’s bloody cruel. It’s not my fault that the house isn’t what was expected. I left it clean and even left her a bottle of fizz. If she starts slagging me off to school mums I will feel really pissed off as she’s basically insinuating my family lived like pigs. Aibu to be pissed off here?

ironsSteve · 19/09/2026 16:52

I’d go with “we looked at doing the work, but it wouldn’t have covered the costs.. Frankly we’re amazed and grateful she paid as much as she did”

EmeraldShamrock000 · 19/09/2026 16:53

misscee5 · 19/09/2026 16:46

I don’t care about her opinion on decor, like you say each to their own. It’s her house now she is absolutely entitled to change it. But the way she is speaking about it heavily implies that the house was grim, dirty, old, not fit for kids and yes way below her clearly very high standards. So why buy it then?

End of the day there is nothing I can do about it now and I definitely won’t be getting into any discussions with her about it. I’ve already told my friend not to pass on anymore gossip as it has upset me. I am to blame as well because when I called in to see my old neighbour for a coffee I actually asked how the new neighbour was getting on and told her that I’d heard she’d been slagging the house off which prompted neighbour to tell me the shit she’d been saying to her too. I shouldn’t have fished and won’t again.

We moved to a bigger house but the buyer has no reason to feel jealous, I don’t even know her other than to say she is someone my friend knows through an old job. She is nothing to me.

I also totally understand people have different tastes and she is completely entitled to change what she wants, it’s her house! But some of the comments felt deeply unfair and seemed to be suggesting it was grim and dirty which it absolutely wasn’t. Dated yes, modernisation needed yes but never unsafe or unfit for kids to live in.

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Was the house deep cleaned before the hand over if she is claiming it was dirty and grim? Was it?
I would have made sure that the property was spotless selling it to someone who I knew locally.
When you move out of any property you leave it clean, decor and old furniture can be not to someone’s taste but if you left it dirty, light switches, skirting boards, oven, then it could be described as grim. A lot of time people don’t realise how much dirt the house can get without a good deep cleaned twice a year.

theneighbourgotmycake · 19/09/2026 16:54

Glowingup · 19/09/2026 16:52

I genuinely think she feels threatened in some way and has to prove that she is 'better' in some way because she has your leftovers so to speak. So she feels the need to tell people how shit the house was because she is insecure that you have moved to somewhere bigger and she bought something that you felt you had outgrown. Otherwise she really wouldn't be saying these things.

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oh come on, I don't know anyone who hasn't moaned about the state of their new property, even when it was a new built. It's normal.

After all, new owners are the ones who will pay to get things right. You only discover the reality of your new house when you are actually living in it.

I have never heard anyone talking about a new house as "the leftovers" from the former owners 😂

theneighbourgotmycake · 19/09/2026 16:55

ironsSteve · 19/09/2026 16:52

I’d go with “we looked at doing the work, but it wouldn’t have covered the costs.. Frankly we’re amazed and grateful she paid as much as she did”

exactly this

Why do people always need to create unnecessary drama?

Original poster

misscee5 · 19/09/2026 16:56

theneighbourgotmycake · 19/09/2026 16:51

but you sold it. Thinking about it and calling it your "family home" when you should have long moved on is silly.

You are the one getting upset about the new owner, when you should be concentrating on your new home. Even the neighbours are no longer your neighbours, it's not your "family home", it's one house where you used to live...

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I don’t really know how to make this any clearer. It isn’t about the house. I have no emotional connection to the house. It’s the fact that she is implying my family are scruffy and left the house in a bad state - we didn’t. To answer pp I cleaned it top to bottom myself. I contemplated repainting some of the walls because of marks etc but ran out of time for that. But as far are cleanliness it concerned, each room was scrubbed, all the white goods were scrubbed, the oven was scrubbed. It definitely wasn’t unclean.

OP posts:

pimplebum · 19/09/2026 16:57

misscee5 · 19/09/2026 16:46

I don’t care about her opinion on decor, like you say each to their own. It’s her house now she is absolutely entitled to change it. But the way she is speaking about it heavily implies that the house was grim, dirty, old, not fit for kids and yes way below her clearly very high standards. So why buy it then?

End of the day there is nothing I can do about it now and I definitely won’t be getting into any discussions with her about it. I’ve already told my friend not to pass on anymore gossip as it has upset me. I am to blame as well because when I called in to see my old neighbour for a coffee I actually asked how the new neighbour was getting on and told her that I’d heard she’d been slagging the house off which prompted neighbour to tell me the shit she’d been saying to her too. I shouldn’t have fished and won’t again.

We moved to a bigger house but the buyer has no reason to feel jealous, I don’t even know her other than to say she is someone my friend knows through an old job. She is nothing to me.

I also totally understand people have different tastes and she is completely entitled to change what she wants, it’s her house! But some of the comments felt deeply unfair and seemed to be suggesting it was grim and dirty which it absolutely wasn’t. Dated yes, modernisation needed yes but never unsafe or unfit for kids to live in.

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Maybe all this hot air she is blowing is HER embarrassment that she cant afford a flashier home and maybe doesn’t have the money to do it all up how she dreams and so blowing hot air to cover up

it’s literally nothing about you and all about her insecurities

totally understand your feelings though

i remember once a man copied photos from rightmove and put it on a local face book page and was laughing at “ the state” of a bungalow

everyone put him in his place because it was a well loved old lady who had moved in to a nursing home home

ladyofroo · 19/09/2026 17:00

Frankly we’re amazed and grateful she paid as much as she did

Why on earth would you be "grateful" that someone paid market value for your house?

She offered 5k below asking price and she knew it needed some work done prior to buying it.

I dont know why OP is expected to gush over this woman like she did her a huge massive charitable favour.

Glowingup · 19/09/2026 17:06

theneighbourgotmycake · 19/09/2026 16:54

oh come on, I don't know anyone who hasn't moaned about the state of their new property, even when it was a new built. It's normal.

After all, new owners are the ones who will pay to get things right. You only discover the reality of your new house when you are actually living in it.

I have never heard anyone talking about a new house as "the leftovers" from the former owners 😂

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Err no, I haven't come across people making horrible and personal remarks about a house to mutual acquaintances where they know the previous owner. Things like saying it was grim and she couldn't believe that the OP lived there with kids are horrible things to say, implying she's a shit parent who doesn't house her kids properly. It's no different to being invited over to someone's house and then telling people what a shithole it was and you can't believe they live like that. It's very personal and hurtful and any decent person wouldn't dream of doing it and it normally reveals something about them rather than the person whose home they are trashing.

PunnyPlumPanda · 19/09/2026 17:15

misscee5 · 19/09/2026 15:19

Her attitude towards me definitely suggests that she’s pissed off though. Unfortunately we still live in the same small town and now with school our paths cross often.

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I mean Meh

coulsnt get worked up about this to be honest

ignore and she’ll soon get bored.

AdidasBadidas · 19/09/2026 17:15

Clearly she did not have a 5 star budget or she’d have purchased a 5 star house. She needs to be reminded of this basic fact by your ‘friends’.

AbsintheMakesTheHeartGrowFonder · 19/09/2026 17:16

She isn’t implying that the house was dirty or that your family are scruffy. She’s talking about it being a renovation project that needs work, which is perfectly reasonable. It’s her house. She can say whatever she likes about it.

I bought a house which needed more work than we thought it did. I also moaned about it because it was stressful and difficult. I have definitely thought that certain things must have tricky for the previous owners who had two kids because there were a couple of things we had to put right that must have required them to watch their kids like hawks in a certain room.

That didn’t mean I was passing judgment on them. The house was clean and they seemed like nice people. I have zero opinion on them beyond that. But the fact that they seemed nice has fuck all to do with my opinions on the house I’d bought, which I reserved the right to share because it was my bloody house.

MmeGallimaufry · 19/09/2026 17:17

I voted YABU. The house was your family's home for over a decade, plenty of living and some wear and tear and perhaps not much attention paid to the latest in bathroom trends. So what? Your family had other priorities.

Your buyer seems to thinkit requires top to bottom renovation - again, so what? Her house, her project/ problem. Nowt to do with you.

Don't let it get to you. Shrug off the implied slights with a comment that makes it clear you were too busy living your lives to fret over peeling paint, spotty tiles or the lack of a heated towel rail or whatever she's getting aerated about.

WallaceinAnderland · 19/09/2026 17:17

some walls needed replastering that kind of thing

That's not just decor and individual taste. Some people would not want to live like that. Surely you can see that she just has different priorities.

Glowingup · 19/09/2026 17:17

AbsintheMakesTheHeartGrowFonder · 19/09/2026 17:16

She isn’t implying that the house was dirty or that your family are scruffy. She’s talking about it being a renovation project that needs work, which is perfectly reasonable. It’s her house. She can say whatever she likes about it.

I bought a house which needed more work than we thought it did. I also moaned about it because it was stressful and difficult. I have definitely thought that certain things must have tricky for the previous owners who had two kids because there were a couple of things we had to put right that must have required them to watch their kids like hawks in a certain room.

That didn’t mean I was passing judgment on them. The house was clean and they seemed like nice people. I have zero opinion on them beyond that. But the fact that they seemed nice has fuck all to do with my opinions on the house I’d bought, which I reserved the right to share because it was my bloody house.

How is saying you can't believe someone lived there with kids not passing judgement on them?

ladyofroo · 19/09/2026 17:18

WallaceinAnderland · 19/09/2026 17:17

some walls needed replastering that kind of thing

That's not just decor and individual taste. Some people would not want to live like that. Surely you can see that she just has different priorities.

Er...,then why buy a house that needs re plastering if you hate it so much.

Good grief, this woman has eyes, she didnt buy the house blind did she?!

WallaceinAnderland · 19/09/2026 17:19

ladyofroo · 19/09/2026 17:18

Er...,then why buy a house that needs re plastering if you hate it so much.

Good grief, this woman has eyes, she didnt buy the house blind did she?!

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She is going to renovate it, not live in it in that condition. All she is saying is 'I couldn't live like that, these repairs need to be done'.

mcmooberry · 19/09/2026 17:20

I think all houses look worse when empty so she probably did get a shock (as we did when we got into our new house) and maybe she does have buyers regret and feels she paid too much. However she is extremely rude talking like this to your mutual friends/acquaintances especially as your children go to the same school. Am sure it will blow over soon, people will get bored of her.

Dancingonlies · 19/09/2026 17:23

Honestly she sounds like a drama queen and I imagine any mutual friends will take it very much with a pinch of salt. Don’t let it get to you. You’d done nothing remotely wrong or embarrassing. No one will think you have or think poorly of you. If they are generous minded they will think she is feeling a bit overwhelmed by life and if they are not they will think she is a bit OTT and give her a wide berth. Just smile and ignore and look forward.

Crudd99 · 19/09/2026 17:24

misscee5 · 19/09/2026 15:26

Yes I’ve tried to frame it like this however her coldness towards me suggests she is treating it as personal rather than property.

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Tell her to piss off if she starts. She obviously thought the house was OK to buy it. She's probably just a manky cow who wants someone to blame because her house is a dump so she blaming you. Spread that around about her.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 19/09/2026 17:25

WallaceinAnderland · 19/09/2026 17:17

some walls needed replastering that kind of thing

That's not just decor and individual taste. Some people would not want to live like that. Surely you can see that she just has different priorities.

Fine to have different priorities. Not find to imply OP is scruffy and neglectful.
OP, ask her what her problem is?

ladyofroo · 19/09/2026 17:25

WallaceinAnderland · 19/09/2026 17:19

She is going to renovate it, not live in it in that condition. All she is saying is 'I couldn't live like that, these repairs need to be done'.

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thats not all she's doing though is it? she's saying how could OP live there with her kids to people she knows will tell OP and is also blanking her and ignoring her in real life.

She's a dick

pimplebum · 19/09/2026 17:26

Her blanking you at the school gate is totally crass snd shows the woman has no kindness or manners like you say youre better off without her

fuck her don't give her head space

Original poster

misscee5 · 19/09/2026 17:27

AbsintheMakesTheHeartGrowFonder · 19/09/2026 17:16

She isn’t implying that the house was dirty or that your family are scruffy. She’s talking about it being a renovation project that needs work, which is perfectly reasonable. It’s her house. She can say whatever she likes about it.

I bought a house which needed more work than we thought it did. I also moaned about it because it was stressful and difficult. I have definitely thought that certain things must have tricky for the previous owners who had two kids because there were a couple of things we had to put right that must have required them to watch their kids like hawks in a certain room.

That didn’t mean I was passing judgment on them. The house was clean and they seemed like nice people. I have zero opinion on them beyond that. But the fact that they seemed nice has fuck all to do with my opinions on the house I’d bought, which I reserved the right to share because it was my bloody house.

Having opinions or disappointment about the house you bought is one thing. I am aware the house needed work. I have no interest in the house, as you rightly say it is hers.

But she absolutely has made unkind personal comments about us as the previous owners.

OP posts:

WallaceinAnderland · 19/09/2026 17:29

ladyofroo · 19/09/2026 17:25

thats not all she's doing though is it? she's saying how could OP live there with her kids to people she knows will tell OP and is also blanking her and ignoring her in real life.

She's a dick

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Yes, I realise that and I agree it's a dick move. But that's my point really, that's why OP shouldn't take it to heart. It's just her opinion, people won't necessarily believe her and even they do, so what? Each to their own.

8misskitty8 · 19/09/2026 17:30

' She knew it needed work and it was priced accordingly. She offered less and we accepted. If she didnt want to do work she should have bought a new build. "
If shes bring rude then give it right back.

Unless of course there is stuff needing done that you knew about and didn't mention or declare. Then I can see why she is pissed.