Am I being too friendly and helpful at the reception school gates .?

You sound lovely.

Any other parents I have come across like this have all been from eastern cultures - Nepalese, Thai, Vietnamese etc. I’ve seen it enough to notice it as a pattern in these cultures and always think it is very kind and well intentioned.

if people like me have noticed this pattern they would probably think similar.

if they haven’t seen this before they would probably just think “oh that’s kind”.

I think the vast majority of people would take this in the spirit it is intended. You would have to be very unlucky to come across someone who had an issue with it.

Just play it by ear. But you will hopefully be fine

You sound lovely! My husband is Portuguese and we lived there when my oldest was born, it’s a much warmer more open culture and I miss that enormously in the UK. I think if you helped my child with something I could be doing my mind would immediately go Oh! What did I miss that I should have been paying attention to? For most people it would soon be clear you mean well. Please don’t feel you have to change.

If youre closer to the child i can see why you might ask. Id probably try and befriend the parents first and model those behaviours with them first.

I wouldnt mind someone I knew helping my little one, but if we hadnt spoken and you were overly friendly with my little one, asking them if they wanted your help when Im there, id not like that.

One of the reasons being I try with my little ones to give them a chance or two to do something themselves before I step in. I wouldnt like a helpful stranger stepping in. But if we were semi friendly and had talked and you helped when it was helpful id be appreciative

Yes but that kind of overthinking just doesn't exist in other more open cultures and being friendly just isn't perceived in that way - don't you see?

Why on earth would you interpret it that someone is being desperate or wants something?

If your children are now adults they must have started school at least 15-16 years ago.School life is very different now and parents(and children) get upset by the least little thing.I actually work in a school so I’ve seen it all! Emails at 9am to remind everyone that their child doesn’t have gravy on dinner,requests that children should wear slippers in school so they’re comfy and my favourite a parent concerned about the size of the hole that workmen had dug out down the road and could school do something about it 🤔

Chatting is fine, but helping with sleeves, dropped bottles and bags is not so fine. The children need to learn to do this themselves. Of course they’re going to accept your help if you ask! Who wouldn’t want someone else to do it for them. If I saw you constantly doing this, I’d get annoyed that you were stepping in too much. Especially if the child’s parent is there! You’re undermining the parent who is most likely trying to teach their child to be more Independent.

You sound lovely

Disagree

You would be a refreshing delight to the children
Never be someone you are not
Sometime we need people lile you.
Parents and english behaviour is not part of who you are so stand tall and shine.
I love the connections of some cultures and the happiness.

Sounds a bit weird. Why are you talking to the kids and not the parents? Why are you babying someone else’s child? It’s not ok without asking the parents too - and honestly I want to be in and out - I have my own village and can mind my own child. Think it’s an off kind of friendly. Why not show your son healthy behaviour by engaging with the parents?

I’ve got mixed thoughts on this one.

Being friendly is one thing but what you described seems overbearing. As someone who is shy, I feel very intimidated and uncomfortable by people who are over-friendly. I really struggle with people in my personal space and have always taught my children to respect people’s personal space.

My children are teenagers now but I’ve always encouraged them to be independent. I wouldn’t have wanted another parent helping them with things like that. If I was there and not helping, it would be because I was wanting them to do it for themselves. Otherwise I would help them myself!

OP you are being lovely and kind, and I wish I had more friends like you .

i don’t think you need to completely stop what you are doing, in what sounds like usual mornings chaos in reception, I expect most parents are just grateful.

there was a thread on here from a reception teacher the other day, talking about how many children came into reception seemingly not able to eg hang their coat on their peg, etc. and some posters have also mentioned about trying to teach their dc to be more independent, so my only advice would be not to jump in to help too soon, give them a chance to work it out for themselves, and if they ask for help, encourage them to have a go, and if they still need help then that’s fine.

if you are going to volunteer more
often at the school - and if you have the time to do this, it’s a lovely thing to do - then the staff may also suggest this approach, so something to think about?

in general through, just carry on being you